History of Sports on TV

• 1982: National Foorball League peaks in ratings. The game is still played in a little-known six-team league -- most people know it today as "sissyball."
• 1987: Increased saturation of sports programming, along with the proliferation of satellite "superstations," cable TV systemms, and private satellite dishes, drives sports ratings trhough the floor. All three broadcast networks admit major financial losses. Angry stockholders demand cutbacks in the sports departments.
• 1991: Commercial networks abandon sports programming altogether, citing inability to compete with superstations. Highest-rated sport on TV is now pro wrestling.
• 1996: Most cable systems now offer over 150 channels-- over a dozen devoted to specialty sports.
• 1997: Replays of the first "accidental" ring death in pro wrestling set ratings records. To keep ratings high, wrestlers issue "death threats" and routinely stage "to the death" matches-- which are usually faked or conveniently stopped by staged disqualifications.
• 2003: Fitzsimmons Spotrs debuts "Shootout," a one-on-one version of "Capture the Flag" featuring live ammo and spectacular prizes for the winner. Because all participants have signed extensive waivers, and the game does not require players to kill each other (it's only extremely helpful), the producers are acquitted of manslaughter charges-- and the ratings go through the roof.
• 2004: Four-time "Shootout" champion Randall Jertz draws a 10-year prison term for manslaughter after police raid secret filming location. Brief experiment in "death sports" is over, but more traditional sports grow in vuiolence.
• 2009: "Combat Football" and "Full-Contact Basketball" are debuted. Commercial networks get back into sports programming as ratings for these new, bloodier sports increase.
• 2011: Citing journalistic freedom to cover "news events," footage of battles between third World armies and guerrilla forces is packaged as entertainment and shown on prime time. Critics' charges that the combatants are paid performers and the entire battles are put on for the benefit of the cameras are never proven.
• 2021: Supreme Court decriminalizes manslaughter in arena sports. "Shootout II," featuring heavy weapons and a team format, leaps to the top of the ratings.
• 2023: First televised autoduel broadcast by BGN (The Blood & Guts Network) from Austin's Armadillo Autoduel Arena.
• 2026: Autoduelling becomes highest-rated TV sport. Combat football and private wars run two and three-- Shootout II slips to fourth.
• 2029: Nearly every station or network in operation today offers at least local autoduelling coverage. The American Autoduel Association estimates that 80% of all official AADA events are now televised.
• Today: Taste of the viewing public seems to have shifted somewhat from arena duelling to highway combnat. Networks cut back on arena coverage (though it's still number one in the ratings) and devote more resources and time to tracking down and broadcasting random highway combats.

50 Years Ago Today

'Cute' 3-Wheel Car Comes to Life

In his native Vancouver, British Columbia, Rogers is building three-wheel cars he calls "microvans." His emphasis is on function and simplicity plus one other big factor-- a small price tag. Rogers says he will be able to sell the Rogers Rascal in the United States for less than $5,000 by buying the engine and transmission from established companies and by relying on very little labor.

With its three wheels and two-cylinder, 750-cubic centimeter engine, the Rascal qualifies as a motorcycle, a classification carrying less stringent emmissions rules. In addition, the little engine gets more than 60 miles per gallon.

Rogers says the car is "as safe as humanly possible." One safety feature he touts is bumpers made of Surlyn, a plastic compound best known as the covering for cut-proof golf balls.

--Austin American-Statesman, Nov. 2, 1984.