Daily Illuminator

August 17, 2008: The Ogre Ninja: Corporeal At Last

When I think "ninja" the first thing to pop into my head is a person in black pajamas creeping across the roof. (Okay, that's a lie. The first thing that pops into my head is a turtle, but this is a close second.) I do not, however, typically associate the word with tanks. Especially cybertanks. Especially cybertanks that tend to blot out the sun as they roll by. But I should. And you should. And we will. Because, defying all logic and reason, there exists a sneaky Ogre known as the Ninja. Sure, it might not be tiptoeing across a pond anytime soon, but it will flip out and kill just about everything. As far as I'm concerned, that's close enough.

So why am I bringing this up? We recently got a whole mess of these long-awaited shadow warriors cast and put up for sale in our online store, Warehouse 23. You can find them by utilizing this wondrous new invention called the hyperlink. Click, and unto you shall it deliver the craftiest, sneakiest, most imperceptible rolling building you'll ever see. (Or should that be "never see?")

And by "imperceptible," I of course mean "it will kill every single thing it comes in contact with, which - in an operational sense - is exactly the same thing as nobody having ever seen you in the first place."

-- Fox Barrett


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