The Celestial Enquirer

(A Publication of Kobal Enterprises, Ink.)

By Diverse Hands


From: Archangel Beth ( and Maya (

[Me:] Yum! Schlurp! Laurence, Mmmmmm!

[Maya:] KK's ultimate ambition? :)

[Me:] Yup! He's just soooooo yummy. K.K.'s got a crush... "So, like, if we could, you know, get together... I'll stop going after your guys! But you gotta show me a *good* time, y'know?"

[Maya:] I laughed out loud when I read that, and imagined that. And perhaps Laurence's look shading from the sternly righteous into the slightly puzzled into the appalled and disapproving (and yet handsome despite himself) - how could K.K. resist? (At least, that's the excuse she gives Kobal while recovering from her latest trauma..)

[Me:] {giggles at imagining his expressions} The Trauma might be worth it, if there were someone else around to take pictures of K.K. plastered around him like a boa constrictor. "Archangel Malakite seen with Lilim! Wedding bells in Larry's future?"


Scene: Seraphim Council floor, Council mostly in recess. Lots of Archangels and high-status Seraphim in corners and small groups, many reading some kind of newspaper. And occasionally snickering.

Laurence, clutching _Celestial Enquirier_ gossip rag: "Lies! All lies!"

Dominic, muttering: "I know. It's giving me a headache to read it."

Novalis, flipping through another copy: "She does look like she's enjoying herself, though. How did you peel her off?"

Laurence: {glares}

Novalis, continues: "And did she take scraps of clothing with her?"

Laurence: "I used a blade, and no."

Dominic, muttering: "She left scars in the leather pants, and toothmarks, though."

Novalis, sighing: "I suppose that is the 'when they pry you out of my cold dead fingers' expression on her face."

Laurence, loudly: "I wasn't enjoying her groping me!"

Dominic, still sotto voce: "...once you realized she was a demon."

Novalis, looking up sadly: "I know, dear. You really ought to relax more. Drop by my party sometime. You too, Dom. You ought to peel out of that cloak sometimes, kick back, relax."

Both: {glower} (Dommie with 3-pair eyes, which is impressive.)

Novalis, oblivious: "Ah, well -- time to get back to business." [Exit, carrying several copies of the scandal rag.]

Laurence, darkly: "I did *not* enjoy being assaulted in that fashion."

Dominic: "By a demon."

Laurence: {sulky semi-glower} "I have work to do." [exits, stuffing his copy of the _Celestial Enquirier_ into a celestial trashcan.

Dominic, mostly to himself: "True." [slithers off]


And then there's...

Me: Laurence centerfolds, ooooo, that'd be fun.

Maya: (happy expression) Definitely. Or Michael, or Gabriel, or.. yum.

[Image of a certain cowled Seraph, casually surveying PlayCelestial. Suddenly, a *ZORCH* of fire shoots across the panel, taking out the magazine. Turn to see Gabriel in full fury, hands clenched at her sides, doing a not-so-slow burn with stormcloud over her head.]

Caption: "The *real* reason Dominic and Gabriel don't get along."


From: "Hermes Trismegistus" (

NEWS IN BRIEF - "Elvis is alive and living with an Angel in Kuala Lumpur" Malaysia, Fri 1st August

There have been rumours of unconfirmed sightings of the King, Elvis Presley, circulating through the Malaysian capitol. Sources close to this reporter have claimed that Presley is now residing in a shanty town on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur with a young female, commonly believed by locals to be an "angel".

Presley, who if he is still alive would now be 62, was the undisputed King of Rock'n'Roll. After his untimely death in 1977 (supposedly from a codeine allergy) many devoted fans claimed the King never died. Some even claimed he was kidnapped by aliens in their plan to alter the Earth's history! [1]

Of course one more Elvis sighting is hardly likely to draw any serious attention, but I have a positive lead on the supposed whereabouts of the King.

With the aid of Nguyen, a "Close personal friend" of Mr. Presley, I travelled to the shanty town where the King has set up his new Graceland, to meet Mr. Presley and his enigmatic Angel. Following is a transcription of the discussion with "Elvis' Angel":

Me: Is it true that this is the home of Mr. Elvis Aaron Presley, the former "King of Rock and Roll"?

Her: No, this is my house, I have lived here for nine years now with my son, Cain. (muffled voice in background: Who's at the door, baby?) No one, just a reporter (voice: Reporter? Shit, I ain't talking to the press.)

Me: And the allegations that you are in fact an angel, who has lived with Elvis since his first sighting here?

Her: Let me ask you something... you're *really* after this story aren't you? Well, I'll tell you what. I'll give you the full story on Elvis, but you just promise to do one teensy little thing for me?

Me: Anything for a story.

[end transcript]

As you can see, reports are inconclusive at this stage, but this reporter will stop at nothing to reveal the true story behind "Elvis: Alive and Well in Malaysia".

Kurt White - from the Pacific Rim

Editor's note: Mr. White was arrested yesterday morning in Memphis, Tennessee after attempting to break into the now legendary SUN recording studios. As police officers escorted the ex-reporter to the squad car, witnesses claim Mr. White shouted "She made me do it! It wasn't me I tell you!". Mr. White will appear in court this Thursday.

[1] Many thanks to Mr. Rankin for this information


From: Kingsley Lintz <>

>From: Martin Leslie Leuschen <>
>Fact: Dominic was Dominque until a fairly late draft of IN
>Fact: Dominic always wears a big, concealing cloak
>Fact: Dominic is really into discipline

> Just another wierd tangent to the Dominic Thread... I figure he's wearing skanky black-leather-with-silver-studs S&M gear under that thing. [Picture it, I *dare* you.]

I have to admit, I find it hard NOT to..<gryn> (Except that the image of a six-eyed, winged serpant in a chain-and-leather corset is just a weird picture...)

{It's like Tim Curry in _The Three Muskateers_. It was almost impossible to think he WASN'T wearing the same outfit he'd had in RHPS under those cardinal robes... [Well, hey - why do you think they call it "cardinal sin"? <gryn>]}



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