Holy Relics

By Emily Dresner (zenith@umich.edu)


Hee. It occurs to me that the ark was described in the OT in such loving detail that it wouldn't be impossibly difficult for a demon prince (naming no names) to mock up a very authentic looking copy as a skit on organised religion. Especially if it had something wacky like title deeds to the land which is currently Israel in it... or another 10 commandments. Or.. something.

The Angel, dressed up as a High Priest, in a sacred place after completing the rituals of purification, commands that the lid be removed from the Ark. He reaches in, and pulls out the ancient tablet with much reverence. And then he reads, in a clear voice, "Thou Shalt Not Piddle On The Neighbor's Lawn Gnome".

Looking confused, he reaches in again, and grabs another tablet. "Thou Shalt Not Dress In A Tacky Or Offensive Manner."

The Angel just hangs his head. "How come," he says, "I have this feeling that this is not the real Ark of the Covenant?"

- Em


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