How Superiors React to Being Hit by a Fish for the Halibut

By Redneck Gaijin (


If you hit them with a fish, just for the halibut...

ANDREALPHUS will smile and say, "Oooh, you kinky tart! Do that again!"

ASMODEUS will sentence you to scaling fish for Haagenti's favorite seafood restraunt in Shal-Mari for a few decades.

BAAL will compliment you on your courage and ask for another demonstration in the center of Gehenna.

BELETH will replay every JAWS movie ever made -except- the original in your dreams until you go insane or turn into Mike Nelson, whichever comes first.

BELIAL will hold a fish fry, beginning at your elbow.

HAAGENTI will eat the fish, beginning at your elbow.

KOBAL will autograph the fish.

KRONOS will suggest you try the stunt on Asmodeus next.

LILITH will grin, say 'You owe me,' and send you off to do the same thing to Laurence.

MALPHAS will look wounded and ask why you would slap the best friend you have in the world, when there are so many others who really -deserve- a slap with a fish.

NYBBAS will point out that fish-slapping went out with Monty Python and reassign you to subtitling Hong Kong movies for a few years until you get your current trends straight.

SAMINGA will just stare at you idiotically for a moment or two before scattering your Forces to the winds.

VALEFOR will nick the fish before you can follow through on the swing.

VAPULA will take the fish and spend the next few days devising a Vorpal Trout.

BLANDINE won't say anything, but that night you will have a very frank and humiliating talk with a stern-faced guppy.

DAVID will smile, take the fish, and say, "My turn now."

DOMINIC will strip you back down to Reliever level and let you meditate on the evil of your actions while you slowly grow back up.

ELI will blink, shrug, and reconsider offering you a beer.

GABRIEL (flip a coin)

* will shake her head, smile kindly, and say, "Thanks. I needed that."


* will scream in rage, incinerate the fish, and use your Vessel to light a few bonfires.

JANUS will probably offer you an Attunement.

JEAN will look at you as if you'd sprouted another head and say, "Who told you to do that?"

JORDI will eat the fish, and then you for wasting a meal on a human joke.

LAURENCE will say in a quiet angry voice that he chooses broadswords as his weapon and he will see you and your second at dawn.

MARC will smile and make a mental note to double the price the next time you need a favor from him or his Servitors.

MICHAEL will pound you into a greasy spot and then invite you to do it again the next time you want to see just how strong you -really- are.

NOVALIS... well, you just can't hit Novalis with a fish. She's just too sweet.

and Yves...

YVES will chuckle and point out that Destiny usually does not include assault with seafood.... but your future probably does, if you make a habit of it.

--- Redneck

Kris Overstreet, web pages beyond belief - Redneck Gaijin Online - White Lightning Productions - In Nomine: Dark Victory PBEM - The Magnificent Milkmaid


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