James Bond : The Last Gospel

by GR "Maya" Cogman

Bond theme starts.

<SCENE>
Lilith seated at a desk, busily typing. Valefor saunters in through the door behind her, and takes a seat on the corner of her desk.

Valefor : "So what is it this time, Moneypenny?"

Lilith, chewing her lip : "End of the world, James. Same as usual. Need a coffee?"
</SCENE>

Narrator : Bond's going to need more than coffee this time.

<SCENE>
A grey-suited Kobal, pinstripe-suited Asmodeus, and uniformed Baal in a strategic bunker.

Kobal, to Asmodeus : "But if what you say is true, then I have just sent 007 into a trap."

Asmodeus, coldly : "Expendable losses."

Baal, the lights from monitors flashing across his face : "This is war."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Nybbas leans out of the window of a speeding car, cine-camera in hand, filming the pursuing police cars behind. Bond's in the driving seat of the car.

Bond : "Rocket launcher, not camera!"

Nybbas : "Okay, okay..." He jabs randomly at the many controls on the car dashboard.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Large, violent, multiple-car pile-up and explosions.
</SCENE>

Narrator : He's going to need more guns...

<SCENE>
Bond shakes his head as Vapula offers him a large backpack with raygun attached.

Bond : "No offence, Q, but I was looking for something a little more innovative."

Vapula, clicking his tongue : "Really, 007. You have so little interest in pure science."
</SCENE>

Narrator : ... more information ...

<SCENE>
Bond has just stepped through the door of an expensive room, hung with scarlet silks and with candles set throughout it. An Islamic-appearing Gabriel lifts the silk sheet from her black-leather-thonged body as she lounges in the bed.

Gabriel : "I didn't dare hope to meet you again, James."

Bond : "How many scars was it last time?"

Gabriel : "Not enough. Never enough."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Bond and Andrealphus, escaping at high speed on motorbikes from a howling mob of Malakim.

Bond : "Room _666_?"

Andrealphus : "Don't blame me if you had the paper the wrong way up."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Nybbas, looking heroic : "The public has a right to know."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Baal, in the military bunker : "We need to know the coordinates."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Kronos, in a book-lined study : "I need the document."
</SCENE>

Narrator : ... more allies ...

<SCENE>
Beleth and Blandine take coffee together in a Boston cafe, Beleth very Russian in decor, Blandine more poetically dressed. Without speaking, Blandine slides a folder across the table towards Beleth.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Laurence in the aisle of Notre-Dame, black wings unfurled, points his sword towards Bond. Light slants down to halo him.

Laurence : "And who is there to help you now?"
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Michael sits on a field-chair in the Groves, with a floral-bikinied-Novalis rubbing up against his leg and David looming behind him with folded arms. Military maneuvers visible in the background, as Marc offers him a file.

Marc : "We've taken out their agents. There's only the one left now."

Novalis, in breathy tones : "But he's licensed to kill."

Michael reaches down and idly takes her chin in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. "We represent Heaven. He's already dead."
</SCENE>

Narrator : ... and all his skills may not be enough to save him now.

<SCENE>
Bond and David, fighting in some dark underground dripping cellar.

Bond aims a blow at David's jaw, connects, then pauses to shake his hand as David entirely fails to be affected.

David reaches out for Bond with a low, rumbling growl.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Andrealphus stands above Eli, who is sprawling with a drugged-out stare in an artistic cafe.

Andrealphus : "We're asking you to take responsibility for once in your life. We're asking you to help us save the world."

Eli, lazily : "Hey, man, it's all a big canvas. Wait till you see what it looks like in blood-red."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Dominic, in monk's robes, preaching to a large group of similarly-robed men and women in some vast basilica. Fanaticism glitters in his eyes.

Dominic : "And I say unto you, the heathen shall cover the land like a plague; yet shall the fire smite them down, and the sword sweep them from the world..."
</SCENE>

Narrator : This may be the end of the line.

<SCENE>
Blandine, chained to an experimental table, with arcs of electricity playing over her, arching her back and screaming.

Jean, standing at the controls in a white lab-coat, moves across to her. "We can stop this at any time. All you need to do is tell us the truth."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Notre-Dame goes up in a great blossom of flames, the dome bursting apart.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Yves in his library, stroking a white cat, murmuring : "He should never have got this far."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Bond, dragging Beleth across a crowded square, drawn gun in his hand. People grab at them as they run, eyes blank and mindless.

Beleth, screaming : "It's Jordi! He'll kill them all to get us!"
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Gabriel, still in black leather, poised in a dark stone arch and silhouetted by leaping flames behind her. She has one hand pointed at Bond, who is in interestingly tattered shirt and trousers, clearly unarmed.

Bond : "You'll destroy the city."

Gabriel, eyes insane : "Then we'll burn together."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Michael rises from a chair in a military study, and strides across to slam his fist against the wall. Novalis cowers in the corner.

Michael, roaring : "How much damage can one man do?"
</SCENE>

Narrator : But when you get to Armageddon...

<SCENE>
Shots of Rome in flames.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Baal and Asmodeus, in the strategic bunker.

Baal, flatly, "Half an hour, no more, before I have to call the first strike."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Bond and Lilith, feeding the pigeons. Lilith has a briefcase tucked under one arm.

Bond : "How much did it cost you?"

Lilith : "The world. And a pair of ice-skates. Don't break it."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Andrealphus, looking up and towards Bond from the fluffy-winged Mercurian currently in his arms. They're in a dark alley, two motorcycles parked next to them.

Andrealphus : "You know I always like to take my time about these things."
</SCENE>

Narrator : ... nobody knows what's really going on ...

<SCENE>
Marc : "We could toss a coin."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Laurence, whetting his sword : "Kill them all and let Heaven sort it out."

Novalis, curled up at his feet for a change : "But we're Heaven."

Laurence : "Precisely."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Kobal, to Bond in his study : "You'll be on your own out there. Just you and your license to kill."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Bond, to Andrealphus and Belial, in the Vatican Library : "They'll torch the whole place to destroy the truth. We need to find it first."
</SCENE>

Narrator : ... until the news gets through.

<SCENE>
Nybbas, jiggling a portable radio set, in a helicopter : "Vatican Radio, calling Vatican Radio, we have a message of peace..."

Dark-winged Malakim with machine-guns strafe the helicopter.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Vapula leans over a computer screen, watching with Kronos as data scrolls down it. Kronos reaches forward to tap one boxed paragraph of text.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
A group of monks chant the Dies Irae, holding SMGs.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Bond steps into a military command room, where Michael is sitting in the command chair.

Michael : "You are too late, Mr Bond. We have the Gospel."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Two massive Cherubs drag Bond towards an antique execution block, set at the middle of the basilica. Dominic is waiting, head shadowed by his cowl, and Laurence with gleaming sword and murderous smile.
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Everything goes black.

Kobal's voice : "Transmit the Heresy."

</SCENE>

Fire begins to lick across the darkness, catching it and burning till the title hangs in black letters against the flames.

JAMES BOND : THE LAST GOSPEL

Outtakes

<SCENE>
Jo is busy scribbling in a notepad, her feet up on the sofa. Maya stalks in.

Maya : "Okay. We tossed. You lost. _You_ get to tell Michael we're using stage blood."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Saminga, oozing : "But it would be arrrrrrtistic."

Lilith, folding her arms : "I don't care. I am _not_ doing a scene with a Shedite."

Maya : "Look, you'd be fully clothed. It would be strictly consensual."

Saminga : "Sure. Rrreally."

Lilith : "Not even if I got my name above the title. Which is _another_ small point I want to discuss..."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Baal holds up a tacky t-shirt, with "JAMES BOND MILLENIUM" across the front.

Michael inspects it, and sighs : "I told them not to let Marc get his claws into the advertising."
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Jean, pointing at the complicated machinery with chains at the corner, which is already sparking : "This is highly unsafe and decidedly ineffective. I could design a better interrogation mechanism myself."

Maya, head in hands : "No, no, the Malakim drag Blandine in, then you tell her about how..."

Jean, offended : "All I am asking for is half an hour to redesign it first."

Blandine, suddenly paying attention : "_Excuse_ me?"
</SCENE>

<SCENE>
Laurence, puzzled : "Yes, I have heard of brand name advertising, but what precisely does that have to do with me getting a new sword?"
</SCENE>

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