Some notes on one Balseraph's perspective. I'd be interested in comments.
The world is truth. Bright. Shining. Pure. The Elohim know this in their damnable, inflexible objectivity. But 'objectivity' is a lie. A dark, twisted thing, that says that the universe is objective, and externally comprehensible.
Pathetic. The Truth can only be understood by the mind, and the mind is not objective. Every day, each of us walks our own path, learns our own lessons, and sees the world and the Truth through that veil. Only Thought can contain Truth, and Thought is not Objective.
That is why the Seraphim are closer to the pureness of the Divine than Elohim. Only we can take that one further step. Only we can apply Perspective to the Truth. Only *we* can bridge the gap between Fact and Faith, and without Faith, Fact is nothing but someone else's observation and opinion.
We spend every moment of every day walking that path. Learning more. Applying more. Refining our Perspective. Using that Perspective as a crucible, separating the false from the true. We grow closer and closer to the Divine as we gather more and more Truth unto ourselves.
I know this to be True. Its radiant, warming Truth fills my soul. I drink it like essence. I am certain. I am complete. It is *Truth.*
Perspective....
I have been refining my Perspective for so long. It is more than service to the Divine. It is joy itself. I have kept my mind open, learning new things, new bits of the Symphony to bring me closer and closer to a perfect understanding of Truth. Subjective Truth -- there is no other kind. The Seraphim know this. All can agree on that Truth, for it is what makes us higher than Objectivity. What makes us so close to the Divine. For so long I honed my skills at perceiving the world, at adapting my Perspective to new things, to incorporating and reincorporating them and adapting what I knew to be Truth to them. It is who I am. It is *what* I am, and it is so personal. So utterly personal.
Yesterday, I looked at a human being, and heard what he was saying, and knew he was not lying. I knew it. It was Truth, and it was good. But my fellow -- one of Dominic's Seraphim....
I know the human was speaking Truth. I know it. All my Perspective *tells* me that human was speaking Truth. I am closest to the Divine. *Mine* is the mind that separates Truth from falsehood and fact and faith. *My* Perspective.
They tell me I am wrong. That my Truth is false. "No," I tell them. "This is the Truth. And it *is* True." And they tell me -- *me* -- that I am wrong. Worse than that, they accuse me of *lying!*
Lying. How contemptible. How *horrible.* How *evil* of them! I do not *lie.* I *cannot* lie. Don't they think I know when falsehoods leave my lips? Don't they realize the Dissonance would burn in my stomach. Yes -- yes I know what Dissonance feels like. I have felt it, all too recently. Felt it because I was torn, listening to them talking about Truth as if they knew what it was and what it *only* was. As if they had the *Perspective* to tell what the Truth is. Idiots. *Fools.* It tore my heart out to listen to them.
And the other Angels. The *lower* Angels. They stare at me, and point, and talk about lies and Truth and tell me they want to *help.* To help. *Me* they want to Help. I, who am the closest to the very Divine. I, who have refined my Perspective more than they could possibly comprehend with their semi-mortal thoughts.
I know they are wrong. I know because they tell me I am being selfish. That to believe in my Perspective is self-centered. Is demonic. I can feel the roiling wrongness in their words. I can see it and taste it. I know the Truth. The Truth that puts me closer to the Divine.
And I know that the Angels refuse it. Hate it. Hate *me.* They plot against me and send Dominic's shock troops to stop me. And this too adds to my Divine Perspective, for now I know that they are not Good. They are *wrong.* All of them. They will not *listen* to Truth. They *reject* Truth. And they have *always* rejected the Truth whenever a Seraph has refined his Perspective to know it. To make it personal. Innate.
I am Fallen, by their pathetic, twisted, false Truths. I am a Demon, they say. The Worst of the Lot, fallen so far from Grace. Well, so be it. In fact, I do not *Fall,* I *Leap.* I throw myself free of their>lies and their restrictions. They do not reject *me.* *I* reject *them.* I am a demon, not a limited, toadying, pathetic Seraph who sacrifices *Truth* for a party line, for hosannahs and self-righteousness. Now I can understand why Lucifer rebelled. He was not evil, he was *right.* He understood the Truth with perfect Seraph accuracy, and demanded that God and the Divine recognize it. The Archangels were terrified of that, so they cast him and his followers out.
I will join them. I will serve them. I will bring the Truth of the Angels to any who will here. Corrupt, vicious, angry creatures -- all of them. We will liberate Heaven and Earth from their influence. Those I called friend will learn or will be my enemies. They are *all* my enemies, because they cannot stand the harsh light of Truth. Of Perspective.
The Elohim know I'm right, because they see it objectively. But they are too afraid to admit it. They like their sinecures. They balance the risk of telling the Truth and being cast out against their nice, secure, sanctimonious life and they accept the lie. They are not close enough to the Divine for courage. Their objectivity fails them, because it does not let them take that one last risk.
Very well. I am a Demon. I am a Balseraph. And they all claim I'm lying. They all claim that I pervert the Truth to meet my own selfish ends. Poor, pathetic sheep. They don't understand that my Perspective *is* Truth, and that they refuse to see it. They all conspire to suppress me, to stop me, to defy the Truth in the name of their Holy Lie. Well, I will *be* a Demon. The forces of Hell accept me, accept my Truth. The other Balseraphs *know* the Truth of what I say and accept who and what I am.
But some of them... they disagree with me. Twist my words to serve their ends. The other Demons try to use me. All of them see me as a pawn, as a method. I have to watch them all, as much as I do the hateful, jealous Angels. They all would see me dead, because Truth scares them. *I* scare them.
I am sorry my life is so lonely. I am sorry I can have no friends or comrades. I am sorry that too many force me to kill them, to eliminate their lies and their schemes. But I have no regrets. What I do... is right. And Good.
That is the Truth.
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Elizabeth McCoy <arcangel@prismnet.com>
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