I think Michael is scared out of his mind for Laurence, myself.
Think about it. You are the second oldest creature in the universe, literally older than time. You are second only to God in mind and power. You see with eyes that see only truth, and you have witnessed the entire history of the universe.
You remember the pre-Fall Heaven. Glory upon glory, beauty and wonder undimmed with evil. You remember this, and your truth will not permit you to forget the beauty that was lost. You remember friends being turned into mockeries of what they were, horrors beyond imagining, that saw the universe and the people in it as toys for their pleasure. You remember with a mind that will not forget, a mind that cannot take away the sharp edges of remembrance.
You remember being forged by God into his champion, transformed from witness into His personal champion, the perfect warrior, as unstoppable and inevitable as His will. You know the power and insight the Lord gave you, but you know what you have lost. Rest and ease are lost to you, slaughter and death your permanent companions. And you go into battle willingly, to serve your God and win mankind and the angels another day of freedom from the rule of Hell.
You have seen fatally-wounded soldiers crawl across battlefields to guard their dying friends from the vultures, and where others see horror you Him. The Lord is as terrible and wrathful as He is merciful and gentle, for He is a God of love, and none knows this better than you.
Now, into your world this comes Laurence. Other people see only his power and authority, his perfect courage and perfect honor, and his skill at arms. You see these things too, and you see more. You are the Lord's champion, but this young angel will be His *general*, the perfect captain of the Host. Your eyes see the possibility of divine light shining upon him, see him perfect in his duty and perfect in his love.
But your eyes see truth, and no one knows better than you that sometimes even beautiful swords break when they are tested. You know that when he fails, it is because he treats his soldiers like pawns rather than people. And in this you see a mirror of the sins of the Fallen. And you feel a desperate, burning fear.
You cannot chastise him, for he is a general and you are a soldier, and it is the duty of the general to close his ears to his soldiers' pleas and send them to their deaths. And he would never willingly fail in his duty.
But you chastise anyway, and hope that he learns before it is too late, and sometimes in the dark and rainy nights where you fight for him, you pray for him too.
--
Neel Krishnaswami
neelk@alum.mit.edu
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