The Goals of Hell

by Paul F. Strack
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Well bucko, congratulations on finally making it out of Hell. Earth is where the action is, and if you'll give me a little time, I'll show you the ropes. Despite what you may have heard, here is where the real War is fought, and this is the only place the matters. Why is the world so important? It's not the world, but people that make the difference. All those beautiful souls, and all the Essence that they generate.

This War is about power, pure and simple. That power is Essence and the source is souls. To be sure, demonic souls generate Essence as well, but that's not enough when you're the underdog. We need every edge against Heaven that we can get. When we have enough power we can finally take the battle back to the other side's home ground, and win this once and for all.

So, gaining souls is your major concern. Happily enough, humans are more naturally inclined towards us than they are toward the other side. The deal we offer them is simple: revel in life, do what you want and we'll take care of the hereafter. It's not enough that humans simply turn away from the Divine, though. Soul that are neither too good or too bad are simply recycled. You've got them be dramatic, go all out and really take advantage of all their options.

We at least offer something in return for their compliance. Little deals, favors and pleasures are our forte. The angels give them nothing but some vague promise of eternal bliss. Don't believe what the angels say - they're playing the same game. They want souls and their power just as badly as we do. God is a bit more touchy about it than we are, though. The greedy bastard wants them all for Herself, and doesn't share the power with angels. Fine by us, of course; we get to use the power in the War, while the angels just scrape by.

That is ultimately what God's after. She wants to draw all the souls in the world into the upper reaches of Heaven and into union with herself. She calls it Bliss, but we know better. She gives you Eternity, but only as a tiny part of herself. Union with the Divine means death of the mind, and personally, I like being me. Every soul she draws back into herself is one less soul in the world, and in the end she'll take us all. That's what we're fighting for: the right of the individual to exist. God doesn't fully understand what she did when she gave us Free Will. It's not something that we will ever give up willingly.

Sure, I'll admit, some of our methods are a bit questionable. Most of the things we encourage humans to do are downright unpleasant. We have no choice, though - Heaven has stacked the deck against us. Heaven claims all the positive energy generated by mankind. We're left with the dregs. So be it. If the torture of mankind is the only means we have to defeat Heaven we'll take it. In the end men will thank us; even a life of torment is better than the void. If you have any doubt, just watch how enthusiastically humans imitate us, and even expand on our ideas.

It's unfortunate that the work we do goes to some demons' heads. We bicker a lot more than is really necessary. Still, conflict is in the nature of the world, and the struggle keeps us strong and alert. Each Prince strives against the others, and most of the time the end results are a harmless exercise, like training almost. Every now and again some lesser demon gets ices, but they probably wouldn't have amounted to much anyway. When things get really out of hand, you can rely on the big S to step in and sort it all out.

The angels, over course, can't see the forest for the trees. They think that the means we use are all there is to our message. What deluded fools. They believe that being devoured by God is the best possible thing that can happen to you. Most of them are saps, not too difficult to work around. Some of them can be dangerous fanatics, though, and those you need to avoid. Don't think that you can take them - they're tougher than they look. A few of them have doubts of their own. Keep your eyes peeled for those angels. Every halo we can bring over to our set moves that much closer to victory - not to mention getting you a nice little bonus from the top.

Is victory possible, you ask? You'd best not let Asmodeus hear of such defeatist talk. Still, it's a question I've asked myself, and here is what I've come up with. You see, God could have stop the fall from the very start. That's what being omnipotent means. When we rebelled, the loyal angels fought against us, but God Herself didn't lift a finger. Maybe, in Her inner heart, She knows that we're right. Maybe She even *wants* us to win. All I know is that for this entire War, the angels do all the work and She does nothing.

And that's good enough for me.




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Elizabeth McCoy <>
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