Hairy (Corporeal Discord)

By Elizabeth McCoy


There is a legend about how Lilith could be told from a mortal woman -- despite her great beauty -- by the fact of her incredibly hairy legs. And this, in an era before disposable razors in the supermarket!

Well, the truth or lack thereof is an exercise for the reader, because I'm not gonna try to ask her. However, there is a little-known Discord...

Level 1: Though dark, thick, long, and coarse, a shaving a day will keep the Discord down to a mere "five-o-clock shadow" level.

Level 2: Forget wearing hose or spandex, unless you plan to shave every six hours.

Level 3: Forget about wearing thin socks, unless you plan to shave every 3 hours.

Level 4: The hairy region is not just the legs, but extending down to the top of the foot, and up to the hips! You're better off with a sheep shearer, since you're unlikely to finish with a razor in the hour this stuff takes to grow to its full length. (On the plus side, you can entice pervy hobbit foot-fetishists.)

Level 5: Everything from the soles of the feet, up to about the navel, is fuzzy. Baths in Nair (a trademarked hair remover name) will do for about 30 minutes... Tight pants will itch horribly (the hair gets rubbed the wrong way). Loose ones aren't much better, and the hair tends to poke through anyway. Get a skirt.

Level 6: Give up, wear a long dress (or a burka), and console yourself that you've got a great "costume" as a satyr for halloween or SF conventions. (Hooves not included.)


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