PET Scanner

By Michael Cleveland


On rare occasions, there are inventions that Vapula puts out that actually work as advertised. The whole point of Vapula's Great Work, after all, is to help mankind find God through Technology. Saving lives brings a good deal of conversions, and reminds the hairless monkeys that, were it not for these blessed machines, they would have left all of their loved ones behind before their time. Vapula is especially pleased when a device is made that can actually be adopted and reproduced by humans- it makes Technological acceptance so much easier.

The PET Scanner is a very large, bulky and frightening piece of equipment that will allow for very detailed pictures of the brain and nervous systems. Humans have used it for years in detecting neurological problems, allowing for many lives to be saved. It whirrs, clicks, hums and makes a goodly amount of disturbing noises in a dark room, while people in white coats sit in a shielded booth looking at screens. It helps to remind people that it isn't the amount of medical expertise the doctor has that will save you, but the machines that he has at his disposal.

The PET Scanner has a second use that the humans using it are unaware of - if a celestial is operating the device, he can activate several additional settings that will assist in the use of Songs of Healing. The operator, having gained detailed information on the entire body (not just the nervous system) can effectively double the check digit of a successful Song of Healing. This function will be released within the next several years to the humans, as an upgrade, or more likely an entirely new machine that just looks very similar to a PET scanner. The upgrade has already been installed in all systems, but the process of training the human operators to unconsciously use their essence in the furtherance of Technology is a sensitive process, which will take a few years longer.

Most celestials, when they think of Vapulan Technology, think of objects that will randomly blow up, short-circuit, or irradiate anything that even remotely thinks about using it. This is not the case for the PET scanner. It does have a limited lifespan before requiring maintenance, but should anything go wrong, the machine will simply refuse to power up. A few minutes with a technician and a few thousand dollars worth of equipment, and it works as good as new. With this recent emphasis in quality controls, Vapula is certain that the PET scanner will help usher in a new age in the adoration of Technology.

Well, not exactly.

You see, while the PET scanner is a 'Vapulan' device, the project team that is in charge of them made sure to install a few additional features that somehow failed to make it into the final blueprints. Oh, the wiring and circuitry is still there in the plans, but it fails to explain itself completely. The PET scanner is indeed a marvel in the treatment of neurological disorders, but the reason it works so well is not just by showing the doctors a detailed view of the brain. The reason it works is that it makes a detailed analysis of the subject's ethereal forces, and how they interact with the corporeal forces they're connected to.

The PET, or Pulsed Etheric Transmitter, is wonderful at all the things described above, but what it's really meant to do is access the ethereal forces of a subject and allow them to be read and analyzed by a trained operator. The 'technician' who sits in the 'metal folding chair' in the booth is connected to the ethereal forces of the person in the scanner, allowing them to remember the subject's memories as if they were his own. The data can't be read directly into a computer - only by someone who holds the proper training. This helps ensure that the information remains confidential and not subject to capture by personnel not authorized to know about this function.

The PET can also be used to carefully remove an ethereal force from a human in the machine, and replace it with one from the 'technician', most often an Impudite or Lilim. Once the transfer has been made, the ethereal force will be relatively inactive, simply acting as part of the person's memory. The subject won't even notice the difference, going about its business for the next three or four weeks, until it's time for his next checkup. Once the subject is back in the machine, the forces will be switched again, and the memories of the past few weeks read into the human's mind. The 'technician' will still have everything he or she witnessed fresh in their mind, and can then make a detailed report of everything.

This wouldn't seem so bad, except that as was mentioned earlier, the project team in charge of this machine neglected to mention these functions to anyone outside their group. The training that is required to use these functions is quite complex, and quite likely to cause the machine to act in typical 'Vapulan' fashion should any untrained celestial try to use these options. Unfortunately, this will most likely prevent other research teams from reverse engineering the machine.

Which is how Asmodeus and his covert operatives want it. What's the point of pulling a truly beautiful scheme off behind someone's back if they find a way to take advantage of it? And besides, it's quite amusing to watch Vapula try to make sure that these devices find their way into most major hospitals, where any Game agent worth his badge can get a Probe Team to it. And it also brings a smirk to anyone who knows the truth whenever Vapula starts talking about his technological achievements, compared to the 'unreliability of demonic works'.

After all, the PET scanner will run for precisely five months, twenty-seven days, and thirteen hours before needing maintenance. The actual minutes and seconds that each machine has may vary, but when you compare that to 'any time you look at it wrong', it doesn't really seem that bad...


Back to the INC Mainpage.
Back to the Resources page.

Send mail to the Curator