Malakite of War
Friend of the Fighters
Angel of Big-Eyed Fluffy Kittens
By Moe Lane
|Corporeal Forces: 5
|Ethereal Forces: 4
|Celestial Forces: 6
Skills: Chemistry/1, Dodge/6, Driving/1, Emote/3,
Fighting/6, Large Weapon (Sword/3, Axe/3), Ranged
Weapon (Rifle/3, Shotgun/3), Tactics/1
Songs: Battle (Corporeal/1, Ethereal/1, Celestial/1),
Charm (Celestial/2), Entropy (Ethereal/2), Fire
(Corporeal/1), Form (Corporeal/1), Light
(Celestial/6), Might (Corporeal/1, Ethereal/1,
Celestial/1), Numinous Corpus (Acid/1, Claws/1),
Shields (Corporeal/3, Ethereal/1, Celestial/2), War
(Corporeal/2, Ethereal/1, Celestial/1)
Attunements: Malakite of War, Elohite of War, Howl,
One on One, Friend of the Fighters, Angel of Big-Eyed
- Curl up with someone for an hour, while in
B-EFK form (Actually, Hemah doesn't mind this Rite at
all, in sharp contrast to everything else about this
Word. It's had an interesting effect on his social
Vessels: B-AMF/3, B-EFK/6 (Charisma +2)
- Never suffer an evil to live, if it is my choice.
- Never surrender or allow myself to be captured by the
forces of Lucifer.
- Always act in the best interests of my Superior.
- Never allow personal dignity to interfere with my
(Hemah had these oaths before he got his Word. They
seemed safe enough at the time...)
Have you ever seen the results of an unfavorable
Intervention when a celestial gets a Word?
It isn't pretty, let me tell you. Now, there's
supposed to be these angels around and singing the
Trisagion (thus supposedly eliminating this from
happening), but, well, it looks like somebody screwed
up. Or maybe they all rolled unfavorable
Interventions themselves. It's all low-probability,
of course, but even low-probabilities come in
None of this makes Hemah feel any better. He was
supposed to be the next Angel of One Bad Mother...
(Shut Your Mouth), but there was this weird twanging
sound, everything went all bluish-purple for a moment
and suddenly there was a small white kitten sitting on
the floor of the Seraphim Council chambers looking
around and desperately trying not to swear.
The red bow around the neck was the worst part. That
was just the fragging icing on the fragging cake.
Anyway, it took six months for the Council to even
find out what went wrong (and give Hemah access to his
old vessel again). They might have tried a fast Word
strip-and-replace, except that Michael had made a
horrifying discovery in that time. Well, horrifying
to Hemah, at least: the angel actually had an
It was the cuteness, you understand. The angel's
kitten form was somehow insanely engrossing to the
Enemy. Anyone that faced him would be hindered -
often fatally - by waves of guilt from the idea of
even thinking about hurting such a cuddly little ball
of furry goodness. It was just like Novalis' Seraph
Attunement, except that the good guys could continue
to kick ass and take scalps without any problems. OK,
that means that it isn't really like the Seraph of
Flowers Attunement at all, but the point remains
Michael wants this added to his arsenal. He's a
fair Archangel: Hemah was given the option of having
the Word stripped anyway. Unfortunately, the
Malakite's own sense of Honor forbade him from
depriving his Superior of a useful tool, no matter how
personally undignified it might be. There was no
guarantee that the Word could be ever fully
duplicated, after all. God help him, it was in
Heaven's best interests if Hemah stayed the Angel of
Big-Eyed Fluffy Kittens, so the angel refused.
Oddly enough, by any objective standard Hemah's done
very well out of his accident: Michael has an even
higher opinion of him now than he did before, and his
fellow Warriors don't even snicker at him anymore. No
matter what he looks like, his mere presence in a
combat means that the Enemy is distracted. That's
worth respect. He's also a bit more of a hit with
certain angels, which is nothing to sneeze at.
Not that everything's rosy, of course. By now, Hemah
can actually use his original vessel, but there are so
few occasions where it would actually be more useful
in a fight. He's had to learn a lot of Songs to
compensate (and get at least a little quality
combat-time in). More troubling is the fact that the
current strength of the Word is insufficient to give
similar abilities to anyone else: Michael has thus
logically decided to try to inflate the Word's
potency. Watching a bunch of combat monsters
attempting to make Big-Eyed Fluffy Kittens more
important to humanity may be hysterical, but not when
you're from the inside looking out, as it were.
But the really bad part ... well, one of the problems
with being in a particular vessel is that it affects
your thinking after a while. Hemah liked being a
huge bruiser, thank you very much. He liked
pounding demons into the ground. He was good at it.
He was seriously looking forward to encouraging humans
to beat the crap out of the forces of Evil by his mere
example. Now, he's most effective when he just looks
at some demon with big, unblinking, soulful eyes.
True, he's usually quickly preparing a laser beam shot
at the same time, but it's just not the same. It
doesn't bother him quite as much as it once did,
though, and that sort of scares him. Especially since
he started to catch himself...
Well, he's been catching himself purring.
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