It is a fallacy to think that because I appear cold,
I am cold. I am a master of my passions, not a
denier of them.
Those of my Choir have a precious gift: we know the consequences of our actions upon humans in a way that no other angels may duplicate. The delicate dance of electrons and neurons, stimulus and response, the transmutation of chemistry and physics into the soul: that is what we deal with every day of our existence.
But it is a fragile dance: the slightest wrong note can smash the airy framework that is the average human's mind. This would not be so troublesome, if it were not for the fact that it cannot be predicted precisely what would be the metaphorical straw that breaks the metaphorical camel's back. Better to tread lightly: still better not to tread at all - but to do the latter requires firm resolution, and an admission that we may not safely stray from the still place within our Hearts.
If there is tragedy in this, it lies in that my Choir may not even grieve at those of us who have lost their still places.
I, myself, have a ... compensation. I have the universe. Not 'have' in the sense of 'possession', but 'have' in the sense of 'access'. I know the rules of the corporeal universe, but I have not yet explored all of the permutations - and I may never do so. There will always be a new connection to make, a new application of theory to explore, a new viewpoint to contemplate and evaluate. The task is a complex one, and could legitimately take up the rest of my existence.
However, there is a War going on.
I do not resent Hell, but I do not pity them, either - they are a willfully wrong note in God's Symphony, and balance dictates that they be put in tune or silenced, lest the wrong notes spread and threaten the whole. If this means their repentence, that is acceptable: however, if they cannot stop interfering and will not repent, then they must be excised. There is no middle ground.
Other of my peers who know of my opinions on this matter then ask why I do not release more of my applied research into the hands of either Heaven or Earth. The answer is simple: experimentation has shown that a too-comprehensive dissemination of technology will result in a suboptimal result. Vapula (my primary opponent) does not seem to care about this, apparently deciding to emphasize power over reliability and quantity over quality. Seeing the amount of Technological equipment available, my peers bring this difference in methodology to my attention at every opportunity: I have not yet heard a compelling reply to my standard query about whether they would accept a commensurate failure rate.
As for humanity ... if I was not obedient to the will of God, I would not be here. I have seen in some a hint of the reason why He deems them special and precious in His eyes. I know that such a hint lies in all humans, but until it is present and shining in each and every one of their faces, I cannot allow them to be burned by my discoveries. Humanity has only barely begun to move towards maturity (a movement much delayed by Hell). It is not reprehensible to keep dangerous materials out of the way of those not yet ready to handle them safely: it is not patronizing to speak of humans as metaphorical children, provided that you intend to help them move from that state.
Until that day when humanity is ready (and they progress. Slowly at times, but they progress), I remain in the laboratory - or the music hall. There is much to be learned in the contemplation of harmony and melody, in the way that mathematics can be subconsciously utilized to create a transient work of art. I have found that mastering each form of musical instrument (including the human larynx) proves useful in my work. In many ways, my work is music, and thus art.
I sing the body electric.
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