Jekkijek, Potential Demon of Little Chocolate Donuts

By David Wood


Jekkijek is a demon caught in Hell's strangest and stickiest web of intrigue.

He could become one of Haagenti's most powerful servitors, in an astronomical bid for power that rivals that of his own master. Not that his Word is enough to warrant a Princehood in the Infernal Lowerarchy, but to get a Word so early, that so supports the master's own Word, is an outstanding achievement. Some admire him, some fear him, and some would like to take his place. Lucifer hasn't even been affirmed for his Word yet, and amazingly, he has an enthusiastic cadre of fellow demons supporting his bid. Of course, knowing how things are in Hell, some of them fear him, admire him, or want to take his place.

See, he's still a gremlin. Seven forces and ready to become something bigger, but still just what some in Hell less-than-charitably refer to as a "snotling." He's never even been to Earth yet. And yet, Little Chocolate Donuts are all the rage in every Shal Mari eating establishment, and miraculously making big inroads into Earth cuisine.

Demons of most Superiors might wonder how something like this could happen (if only to foster it or prevent it from happening in their own hierarchies). Angels may have heard of this new threat, and decided they want to get proactive all over it. If they could figure out how Jekkijek exerted that kind of influence over so many. And on Earth, people are going ga-ga over these miniature taste sensations, on the assumption that they're largely harmless because they're small - a mirror image of Jekkijek's situation, if you think about it.

In all, it sounds implausible, doesn't it? Almost like a...

...screwball comedy?

Things are in fact happening too fast for Jekkijek. He made a few boasts about the Word he wanted early on, and suddenly demons from all over have practically materialized out of the woodwork to pave the road to his self-claimed Word and push him along it faster than he might like to travel. He could admit that he's not in full control of the situation, but if he admits weakness like that, the entire group supporting him might suddenly throw him to the ground and tear him apart. So he's got to weather the storm, and from here on out the sea is only going to get choppier.

Blame Tuzerol, Habbalah of Dark Humor. He first heard that Jekkijek was going to vie for the Word of Little Chocolate Donuts, and saw in it an opportunity for incredible mischief.

First he offhandly encouraged Jekkijek to try promoting the Word. Jekkijek probably doesn't even remember who gave him the suggestion, but he remembers feeling oddly pumped about it.

Then he started approaching every demon even remotely close to Jekkijek and saying, "Hey, play along with the little snot. It'll give him a sick little thrill, and it'll be funny when he finally falls on his face." Admittedly the comedic stylings of Kobal's servants can be a little highbrow, but everybody loves a pratfall (provided they're not the pratt that's taking the fall). So not surprisingly, Jekkijek suddenly got a lot of enthusiastic support for his Word bid. More than Tuzerol expected, in fact, which is part of the problem.

Haagenti is happy as a pig in barbecue sauce at suddenly having such a tasty little word promoted so effectively. They're chocolate! They're donuts! And you can eat dozens of them at a time!

Kobal's reaction is, well, lukewarm. Tuzerol's setup is a funhouse reflection of his own support for Haagenti's Word. This in itself could be either flattering or insulting, but Kobal sees a great deal of potential in it so he's willing to let it go on. He's more concerned with the lack of planning on the punch line; sure, the gag has had a terrific buildup, but it's probably going to end less like a joke and more like one of Vapula's experiments -- in flames. Which wouldn't be bad either (considering the popularity of the 'Vapula's Funniest Experiments Gone Wrong' home videos), provided his own plans aren't changed in the process.

And Lucifer? Don't think he hasn't noticed. On the one hand, he's noticed a lot of demons from a lot of different quarters offering their services to support what amounts to a cruel joke. It's rather wasteful, after all. But even he can find a bright side to the situation: the demons "helping" Jekkijek do so without significantly hurting their own projects, and they provide Heaven with a high visibility soft target. While they're planning how to take out Hell's newest rising star, Hell could pull off a number of little victories. Plus, it is fun watching the little snotling scramble around...

Jekkijek is trying to put up a confident front, but this is incredibly stressful for him. Eventually when he goes to the surface to oversee his Little Chocolate Donut Empire, treat him as newly fledged, and being "helped" out by beings with far more forces than he has. This might tip the angels off that something isn't right. Who knows? Heaven might be able to swing Jekkijek into an early redemption.


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