Balseraph of Dark Humor
Corporeal Forces: 6
Ethereal Forces: 3
Celestial Forces: 4
Vessels: Monster from the Deeps/6, Human/1
Skills: Acrobatics/4, Climbing/1, Dodge/3, Fighting/6, Knowledge(Algae/6, Hydrography/1), Move Silently/6, Swimming/3
Attunements: Balseraph of Death, Sanctuary of the Dead, Zombi, Balseraph of Dark Humor, Balseraph of Technology
Discord: Obsession(Pond Scum)/5, Need(Pond Scum)/6
Special Rite: Drag someone under pond scum to their death, with the witnesses (minimum 1) unable to work out who or what you are [Grants essence equal to his current Word Forces].
Special Ability: As Friend of Gardeners, but pond scum only, and the die roll modifier is in the opposite direction.
It's generally a good idea to be sure that a Word is free before requesting it from Lucifer, Scrie thought to himself after requesting the Word of Drowning. Still...
Feeling very sorry for himself, Scrie invoked Saminga on a sinking ship and humbly said that since he had a joke Word, he knew that he would be demoted or given to Kobal, but could he keep his attunements, please? They helped him kill people, and killing people was so wonderful, so special...
Of course, before doing this, he'd invoked Kobal. Why not? He needed a Superior whose dissonance conditions wouldn't prevent him from spreading pond scum. Besides: Kobal had sponsored Haagenti's rise to Demon Prince, why not Scrie's?
Kobal listened in amusement as Scrie went on about his new Word - it was potentially as wide and vast as Flowers, after all - easily Superior level - and Scrie would be a loyal servant during his rise and ally once he became a Prince! Laughing hysterically at the idiot, Kobal agreed to accept Scrie into his service and if he made it to 20 Word Forces, sponsor him to Lucifer.
The joke is well known among Kobalites - the Demon of Pond Scum thinks that he'll become a Prince one day - and Jokesters like to pretend that they are 'keeping in his good books' against that day. This has actually helped Scrie enhance his Word, and is part of the reason that Pond Scum is as powerful as a trivial Word can be.
To be fair, Scrie hasn't been sitting on his hands. He's carefully researched the nature of pond scum, and has been in contact with Technology; the Demon of Pollution knows that Scrie will ensure the spread of any pollution which encourages the spread of pond scum - it was Pollution who sponsored Scrie for the Balseraph of Technology attunement. Scrie hopes to eventually develop a Rite supporting both his Pond Scum and Pollution.
Scrie hands his Rite out freely, even to the zombis he creates (These zombis are frequently of alligators and other creatures who could believably lurk under the pond scum). He specialises in flooding cemeteries, and ensuring that the surface of the water is covered in pond scum; he then uses Sanctuary of the Dead on hapless visitors, either rising from the depths to snap them or possessing them and then leaving them in the graves beneath (Scrie's Monster Vessel and Discord are the results of a trip to Limbo soon after getting his Word).
Scrie hopes to broaden his Word to include metaphorical meanings soon. He's hoping to create a band called Pond Scum who will be really bad but get the full Media workout so that lots of people know how bad they are. The goal is that in future hopeless bands will be referred to as "another Pond Scum". This is another project which he dreams of designing a Rite for.
Bankrolling this takes money as well as Essence. Scrie's Role as a rich financier would collapse overnight if he wasn't constantly funnelling stolen wealth into it. Scrie is a skilled thief (due to large amounts of practice), so he's been able to maintain the Role and support pollution in funding dubious factories etc, and build up his connections with The Media.
Scrie's dream, of course, is Princehood. And he has it planned out. He's relying on the habit people have of referring to the Atlantic as 'The Pond'. He and his friends in Technology have been crossbreeding algae to create a version of pond scum which will be completely inedible to all sea creatures, and capable of thriving in on the surface of the Atlantic. It will be bred in vast "salt farms" on the Atlantic coast and ten released. If he can make the terms "The Pond", "Atlantic", and the spreading pond scum synonymous, he hopes he can eventually claim all of the oceans of the world as part of his Word.
Kobal, of course, is still in hysterics.
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