Libertarian Sewer Flukes

By Moe Lane


Corporeal Forces: 3
Strength: 6
Agility: 6
Ethereal Forces: 1
Intelligence: 3
Precision: 1
Celestial Forces: 0
Will: 0
Perception: 0

Body Hits: 18

Skills: Area Knowledge/5 (NYC sewer system)*, Dodge/1, Fighting/2, Knowledge/2 (Libertarian philosophy), Language/3 (Brooklyn)*

*GMs wishing to change the locale of the Libertarian Sewer Flukes are, of course, more than welcome to do so. Try picking a location which has a local accent that you can properly mangle...

As has been mentioned elsewhere, there are lots of weird things hanging out in the NYC sewer system. Libertarian Sewer Flukes (LSFs) aren't even remotely the weirdest - although they are hardly prosaic denizens of the City That Never Sleeps. Of course, it's hard to be prosaic when you look and smell like a flattened halibut. There's a lesson there.

Well, probably not.

The funny part is, they aren't even really what one would call dangerous. The average LSF is perfectly happy to just swim around in its preferred habitat, doing the sorts of things that appeal to a LSF and generally having a heck of a good time (well, good from the point of view of an LSF). They don't hang out much with each other, unless they feel like having an argument. You see, they really are Libertarians, and they all approach that particular philosophy from unique viewpoints. Nobody has yet figured out yet just how they managed to learn and study Libertarianism in the first place - or how they keep track of the latest publications. Possibly some kind soul comes down and reads aloud to them every so often. Or maybe it's yet another insane byproduct of the reality warp that is the NYC sewer system.

On the rare occasions that they do have to fight, well, don't fight them on their own turf. Their preferred method of attack is essentially to wrap themselves around a target, start constricting and hope for the best. Considering that few people can breathe sewage (and fewer would want to), this is actually a decent strategy. However, they only fight when attacked, and they taste horrible, horrible, horrible, so the issue often doesn't come up. The closest thing that LSFs have to an actual enemy are the giant ants known as Them, and that doesn't really count: the LSFs just try to convince individual Them to leave their collective and live free, and the Them pretty much ignore the Libertarian Sewer Flukes.

With the above, one would think that LSFs would have almost no contact at all with other life forms; a reasonable assumption, but quite untrue. The reason why is simple: the sewer system of NYC (or any other major city) is a very confusing place to get around in, unless you're a Libertarian Sewer Fluke. They just somehow know where things are, and how to get to them - and, provided that you can make them a decent offer, a LSF will be more than happy to guide you there.

Of course, finding something that a LSF would want might be an adventure in itself. So would understanding their directions; thanks to the laws of dramatic necessity, all LSFs speak with a Brooklyn accent so thick that you could bounce rocks off of it...


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