Jon, Demon Prince of Exploding Animals
By Kanako Otaku
The world is full of li'l critters to blow up...
feed an animal C4.
cause an explosion in an area crowded with animals.
Two Words: Nuclear Trout.
Home Base: The Crater
Hardly manifesting in the usual Shedim Celestial form,
he prefers wearing a dilapudated white shirt and black
shorts in human form, eith beady black eyes and a
sick, frightening smile, hands stained with blood.
Servitors of Exploding Animals gain dissonance when
they pass up an opportunity to blow up an animals, by
Most of Jon's Servitors are former Servitors of Dark
Humor or The Media that Kobal and Nybbas decided to
get rid off. Moving along his ranks involves the
simple task of blowing up as many animals as they can
in as short a time as infernally possible. Anyone who
wants a loose, hardly caring boss work for him. He
doesn't care if you barely do anything at all, as long
as you blow up or mutilate an animal weekly.
Balseraphs: Using 1 Essence and their Resonance, they can make a person blow up or mutilate an animal.
Djinn: Using 1 Essence, they can make a person they are
attuned to attack or blow up an animal. The Djinn is
no longer attuned to that person afterwards.
Calabim: Whenever they use their Resonance to destroy an
animal, they gain 1 Essence.
Habbalah (restricted): They can use their Resonance to cause a person to attack an animal.
Lilim: They gain 1 Essence whenever they use a Geas to make a
person attach an explosive on an animal.
Shedite: They gain 1 Essence whenever they make their Host
detonate an explosive within close proximity to an
Impudite: Any Impudite who is in his service will gain 1 Essence
if they Charm someone into strapping an explosive on
Exploding Meat!!: Using 1 Essence and a touch, they can make any dish
made from an animal explode.
Knight of Flying Fur: Holders of this distinction may use the Calabite band
Resonance, at the cost of 1 Essence, to destroy any
Captain of Meat Grenades: Using 1 Essence and a touch, they can make a piece of
meat explode after a 10 second time delay.
He... somewhat respects Kobal and Nybbas, who
provide him with many, many Servitors. He also is
trying to get on Lilith's good side since he owes her
quite a bit from his days as one of Kobal's Servitors,
or would boot licker be the better term? He is a
despised nemesis of Haagenti and Belial, for different
reasons. As for Beleth, nobody really knows why he
likes her so much.
Allied: Beleth, Lilith* (Lilith and Beleth are
neutral to him)
Associated: Kobal, Nybbas
Neutral: Everybody else
Hostile:* (Belial and Haagenti are hostile to him)
Chance of Invocation: 3
+1 over an exploded animal's corpse
+2 if you have a small animal with a bomb strapped to
+3 in the middle of a herd of animals where at least
one has an explosive attached to it.
-2 if there is a living animal near you.
-3 in the middle of a herd of where no animals have an
explosive attached to them.
Once, a Servitor of Kobal, due to debts, was working
in a Shal-Mari restaurant owned by Lilith. Now,
Haagenti loved, I repeat, LOVED to eat there.
With a sudden hit of inspiration, Jon planted a small
explosive in the Prince of Gluttony's t-bone steak.
The little thing exploded as Haagenti bit into the
steak. It was strong enough to knock one of his teeth
out, destroy half the restuarant and make Kobal
really happy with the guy.
Even Lucifer snickered upon hearing what happened. At
which point, the Lightbringer gave him a Word.
Exploding Animals. He, of course, got his debt to
Lilith, which was nearly payed up already, nearly
quadruple. Lilith opened the restuarant,but Haagenti
never did eat there again. Some time later, as the
now Baron of Dark Humor began blasting animals away,
he managed to somehow strap a small atomic detonation
device to one of Jordi's animal vessels in Hiroshima
near the end of the second World War. Nybbas covered
it up, changing the history of it all.
Needless to say, getting an Archangel openly and
actively hunting you down makes a Demon deserving of a
Princehood. So, that's how it happened, he became a
Prince. Now, he needed a Principality. Seeing as he
didn't want to carve one out for himself, he cooked up
a very insane plan. Strapping yet another
thermo-nuclear device, this time, much more powerful,
to a trout and placed it in the middle of Sheol's. It
blew up, creating his Principality: The Crater.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Personality and Outlook
Jon's personality is very single-minded: blow up
animals. He is afraid of getting Lilith angry, little
realizing that she probably won't send him into a
suicidal mission even if he does. He doesn't care
that two Princes, Haagenti and Belial, are very open
enemies of his. He doesn't care that most, if not all,
of his Servitors on Earth are permanently open-season
for Jordi and his Servitors. He doesn't care if Hell
wins, as long as he blows up a lot of animals along
Role in the War
He has no actual, definite role in the War. He and
all his Servitors are obsessed with one thing:
destroying animals. To Kobal though, his role is
simple: make him laugh.
What the others think, and vice-versa
Andrealphus: Exploding cows aren't sexy... (Animals
were meant to be blown up, not used as toys.)
Asmodeus: Useless. Utterly useless. (Games bore me
unless there are exploding little bunnies...)
Baal: Exploding animals have... some tactical uses.
Not that I condone his antics, mind you. (Wars. Lots
of animal corpses to blow up.)
Beleth: He's an odd one. Still, I have seen some
humans have Nightmares of being attacked by exploding
sparrows. Maybe he caused that. (She scares me. I
like scary women.)
Belial: THAT MISERABLE BASTARD BLEW UP PART OF SHEOL!!
MY PRINCIPALITY!! NOBODY BLOWS UP SHEOL BUT ME!!
(Wonder why he's so angry at me for?)
Haagenti: I'll get him for knocking one of my teeth
out!! (Yet another Prince that hates me for no
Kobal: I have to admit, he is just too funny for
words!! (I owe a lot of my Servitors to my old boss.)
Kronos: He drives animals to a very... unusual
Fate. (The Fate of all animals is to BLOW UP!!! As
for humans, I don't care 'bout them.)
Lilith: Well, at least he tries to stay on my good
side. Just as long as he doesn't blow up one of my
businesses again. (Lilith? I... uhm... no comment!!)
Malphas: He's certainly a strange one. I don't really
know where he stands. (I'm not particularly fond of
him since exploded animals don't have Factions.)
Nybbas: Exploding animals aren't really mass
marketable. (Why won't he televise it when I blow up
an entire herd of cows? Why?!)
Saminga: He kills animals. I like him. (He looks
like the corpse of a silver back gorilla I blew up
Valefor: He's... not exactly... well... wait
here while I go steal a dictionary. I can't find the
right word... (Oh well. He can steal animals for
me to strap bombs to, if I ask him real nice, right?)
Vapula: I would love to do a few experiments on his
brain... so... strange. (He makes me new bombs.
Me like him.)
It's just what it's called. One big crater in the
center of Sheol. He camps out in a small tent in the
middle of it. The border is booby trapped with salmon
mines, cow launching, trip-wire activated catapults
and scattered thermo-nuclear trouts. This makes even
Belial reluctant to attack him directly.
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