Patton, Saint of War

By Moe Lane


Corporeal Forces: 3
Strength: 5
Agility: 7
Ethereal Forces: 3
Intelligence: 6
Precision: 6
Celestial Forces: 4
Will: 10
Perception: 6

Skills: Artistry/2 (poetry), Dodge/6, Driving/4, Emote/3, Fighting/4, Knowledge (History/3, Military History/6, Strategy/6), Languages (French/4, the usual plethora/3), Large Weapons (axe/4, saber/5), Ranged Weapons (revolver/4, rifle/4, tank gun/4), Riding/6 (horse), Savoir-Faire/3, Small Weapon/3 (Knife), Tactics/6

Songs: Battle (All/3), Shields (All/3), Tongues (Ethereal/4, Celestial/3), War (All/4)

Attunements: Blessed, Proficiency (saber), All of Michael's Servitor Attunements

Oh, like this is a surprise, or something.

I mean, he practically came out and admitted it, the last time that he was on Earth. Let's look at the evidence, shall we? Pious, profane (often at the same time), open about his past lives, absolutely fearless, anachronistic in his personal sense of honor, insanely good at his chosen profession, an utter inability to suffer any kind of coward or fool, openly in love with the very idea of honest warfare - gee, that sounds really, really diagnostic. How Hell missed this one for so long is a mystery: probably a combination of internecine fighting and the logical enough belief that not even Michael would put someone this obvious into play.

To be fair, Patton doesn't get to play on Earth often - and he's gotten fewer chances to do so in the last few centuries. The fact that he got repeat tours of duty on the corporeal plane in the first place was due primarily to the above skill set and personality profile: Michael has long established that the Saint was, frankly, too damn good to be kept on the shelf for too long. Unfortunately, there's that minor little problem with not suffering fools gladly: while this is not necessarily considered to be a problem by the Archangel of War (how could it be a problem? Michael's just the same way, after all), not everybody agrees - and some of those disagreeing are quite powerful indeed. Patton thus does not get out of Heaven nearly as much as he'd like to.

So, why does he get out at all? Simple: Michael sometimes gets a funny little feeling that something big that involves his Word will go down fairly soon, and when that happens Michael absolutely hates not being able to stack the deck beforehand. When that happens, out go the Saints - and it's positively amazing how many of them 'grow up' just in time to affect major battles, campaigns or wars. Check out Patton's World War II campaigns for some stellar examples of what form that influence takes (and even more stellar examples of what kind of trouble he routinely gets himself into lately).

Since that campaign, Patton has stayed in Heaven: somebody's got to help train Michael's armored divisions, after all. Every attempt of his to get into corporeal combat again has been squelched, much to his extreme annoyance: as just one example, during the Yom Kippur War the Saint had to be physically restrained from 'requisitioning' a tank from the motor pool and driving it through the closest Tether to Israel. He still fumes about that. It's only recently that Patton's even remotely settled down about the subject, and that's only because Michael himself personally promised the Saint that he'll get one more extended mission.

So, if celestials encounter him on Earth, it might just be because the Archangel of War is certain this time that the Big One's coming up...


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