Fire To Ashes

By Unni Solaas


He was ancient when I first knew myself. As our duties to God brought us together, I came to love him. So bright, so wise, so passionate and powerful he was, the Lord of Fire. Although his deepest passion was reserved for God, as it should be, he loved me back with a fierceness that dazzled my Soul.

After the Fall, we were all stunned and numb with pain, grief and shock. Eveyone but Gabriel, whose pain turned his passion to fury and grief to rage. He lost his son-brother to Liar, and soon the wretched lord of Lies set Fire to fight Fire. I saw it every time I was with Gabriel, how the noise and the friction made by False Fire tormented him and turned his flames to blazes. Slowly and surely Gabriel changed. As the cruelties of Infernal Fire spread into the world, Divine Fire sought to punish and cleanse. Over the millenniae Gabriel ceased to know mercy -- he would not listen to my concerns and pleas. The punishments he administered grew harsher and harsher, his angels acting as both judge, jury and executioner. How many times I tried to reason with him... I failed. The gulf between us grew and my heart ached and wept.

I watched him grow more and more disturbed, watched how he fought the invasion of his Soul, watched him lose his hold on it, watched how his desperation and pain increased and watched him answer it by striking back ever harsher. I was near despair then, desperately searching for some way to get through to him, to help him. When he finally overstepped in such a way that I could exercise my authority to bring him Home, I failed. FAILED. The one way I knew that I could Truly help him, and I failed miserably. It blew up in my face, to use a corporeal term, and the Coucil was left in chaos.

Why don't they help him? How can they not see that he needs to get away from the world for a time? That he needs the soothing melodies of Heaven to calm him and heal the hurt on his Soul? How can they be so blind? The injustice of their inaction is jarring on my soul, but there seems to be nothing more I can do that I have not already done.

Oh Gabriel, Gabriel -- our torch, our flame, our light and inspiration. You are a wild fire now, my love. Your passionate Song turned into a raging scream of pain. Tearing across the planes, shreeching in my mind. When you stormed out of the Spires, you cast away your animus and embraced your anima. You gave yourself over to your Word, controlling it no longer. I could only watch helplessly as you fell even deeper into madness, torment and deperation. When the doubt and fear in my Soul reach its deepest and darkest, I catch myself wondering how he could allow you to go. The First Soul -- how could he do that? But then I hear the Truth sing to me that he can no more control you that he can any other being with Potential. It is not allowed.

So we watched you leave, and I felt the fire in me wane to ashes. I heard your screams then as I hear them still. How can they allow this to go on? Why will they not understand? Michael hates me and more than insinuates that there are no feathers left on my wings. He dares to judge me and blame me for your trouble! He, who is not lifting a single finger to stop the bastard-traitor who is tearing up your Soul and clawing at your Heart! Why does War only watch while you suffer? Why is his only remotedly warlike response to snipe at me with words and innuendos, poisoned and barbed to use an image such as humanity is wont to. And that goes for the rest of them as well. Why will they not hunt the traitor down and bring him to me to be Judged? How can they let you suffer like this?

You have given yourself over to the fire of the Divine, Gabriel. Does the Voice sooth you? Does it drown out the roar in your gut and the howling in your heart? Watching you I do not think it does. Please, please come back to Heaven. Come stand before me so I can Judge you and pass Sentence on you. Come Home, my lord of Fire, so we can end this madness and find you a balm and a cure. So the ashes in my Heart can be lit with your Fire. So we can take up the mission to burn through the Lies and cleanse the Symphony...


War, why won't you bring Belial to my court?


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