A Little Speech

By James Walker


The Vapulans watched as the zombi scurried around, persuading his fellows to form a crowd. Once the crowd formed, the busybody began to speak:

"Congratulations! We are the next, great evolutionary stride, destined to leave lesser, mortal beings behind.

It is the nature of evolution to change direction suddenly, especially when a practical limit has been reached. The dinosaurs grew bigger and bigger; then they were overthrown, replaced by small, insignificant creatures - mammals and birds. They grew more complex - and were replaced by creatures of greater intelligence - humans.

Now the next stage has arisen - ourselves. All too often, humanity's much vaunted intelligence has proven a weakness, as it is used to explore things best left alone. All too often the much vaunted Free Will of humans has resulted in their deaths, as they exercise their freedom to do something stupid. Intelligence and free will are the tools of the past, as obsolete as a dinosaur's size.

We are the first post-sentient life-forms. Once we were sentient; when we were undeveloped. It had its uses; we explored what the world had to offer and decided what mattered. But what then? Other humans, once they have made those decisions, learnt those lessons, are flawed. They can choose to buck the system, fight the flow, unlearn the lessons so painfully learned.

They are flawed, and we shall replace them. Their flaws are too many to count. Antibiotics have been wasted, as humans have failed to obey their doctors orders and so allowed diseases to develop immunity to the wonder drugs. Every day they make stupid decisions, decisions which contradict their experience. And they call this free will.

We have achieved perfection - to obey the wise perfectly; to follow our experience flawlessly. Because we will not foolishly misuse this 'free will' which we once had, we can be trusted with the mighty weapons of Technology. Because we do not disobey we can be trusted with the Rites of the Word-Bound, mightiest of Celestials.

We know what matters. We do not obsess over minor decisions; the inconsequential concerns of mortals are beneath us. Only the handful of things which we learned are truly essential concern us; the one or two concerns which we know must be the centre of our existences. We cannot betray these concerns - we MUST obey what we know to be true.

And humans hate us. Not because we are dead - one day they too will die. Not because we serve demons - some of us serve the holy Habbalah. Because they know that we are their successors; that they have failed, and must be consigned to the dustbin of history.

And consign them we will, for we are the mighty new force that will conquer this planet, and dwell in harmony with intelligent Technology. Where we will go from here, I do not know - but it will be glorious!"

And the other zombis listened impassively; it did not occur to them to do otherwise.


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