The Turkey Curse

By Rev. Pee Kitty (


As Revealed To Us By Dr. Van Van Mojo, Pagan Soldier of Eris

The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that the diametrically opposing Celestial Forces absolutely require an aneristic Symphonic setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation.

The Turkey Curse is a ritual taught only to Soldiers of Eris and random mundanes, and cannot be performed by Celestials, Saints, Undead, Soldiers, Goldfish, or Short-Handled Mops. It requires no Essence to utilize and gives no special status amongst other Erisians, or the rest of the world.

The instructions given below must be partaken of by the player as well as the character itself - with the exception of throwing dice (which the character does not do). If this does not make any sense to you, you are obviously a character, not a player; do not reread this paragraph.

  1. Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs.

  2. Face the particular celestial whose actions you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of a condition or situation caused by a celestial's supernatural abilities.

  3. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were an Impudite of Lust feeling up a Grigori.

  4. Chant, loudly and clearly, "GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!"

  5. Throw d666 as the same time as the GM. Compare your rolls. If they match (taking into consideration that the check digit is unique, while the other two dice are not), Eris does something to mess up the celestial interference. If not, nothing happens. Interventions are normal. On Mojoday (Discord 5th - always a Pungenday - a.k.a. March 19th) the check digit is NOT considered a unique die.



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