When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Skulker

By Anthony Damiani


Think of it, boss! Me.... a few others.... a legion of--- hm, sorry, wrong word. Army. An army of Servitors -- silent, deadly, undisturbing to the Symphony. We'd be unstoppable. We could slip out onto the corporeal plane, and breed you an army of agents -- use the mortals' numbers against them, I say! Even if the Nephallim don't do us much good, you imagine how much time it's going to take Heaven to hunt down each and every one of them? And by that point, we'll have made more! 's great, I tell you, great!

And -- check it out, correct me if I'm wrong -- but I wouldn't have to get one of those nasty Dissonance Conditions, would I? You know how you're always talking about how much you hate dissonance, and how expensive it is to clean up? No fuss, no muss, no smelly discord!

Here's the kicker, boss: absolute loyalty! You never have to worry about a Skulker defecting, cause they -- I mean we -- can't defect! Heaven won't have us! I'd be like one of your own, private squad of Anti-Malakim! The Grigori are so evil, they didn't have to rebel against Heaven, Heaven kicked out every last one of 'em. Now imagine how bad the Fallen ones are! Wow!

Yessir, Skulkers are a vital resource to the cause of Hell -- I betcha we can even turn the tide of this whole thing! So boss, can I please be a Skulker? Boss? Hey, what's that you're pointing at me?



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