Mike's Maxims For Maximizing Military Mayhem

By Moe Lane


(With apologies to Larry Niven.)

Seraphim: "Truth can rip the heart out of an opposing force just as well as a physical weapon. Of course, physical weapons work better on tanks, so bring along a good supply of both."

Cherubim: "The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes."

Ofanim: "A reaction drive is a weapon, with its efficiency as a weapon directly proportional to its efficiency as a drive."

Elohim: "A little force in the right place can topple a city. So will a lot of force in the right place: it rarely hurts to kick a little harder than necessary."

Malakim: "Anything capable of storing and/or emitting energy can be made to explode."

Kyriotates: "Always push the big, red, candy-like button. Never obey signs that forbid you to push this, turn that, or remove those."

Mercurians: "If somebody thought that it was worthwhile to guard a particular object, item or place, rest assured that it will be worthwhile for you to blow it up."


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