<< This comes from an online conversation I had with Eric last night. This is what happens when we're allowed to talk alone for any extended period of time, I think. :) No more! NO MORE! >>
Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Aidsism, Speechism, Taxism, Bornism, Kidism, Actism
This-ism, that-ism, ism ism ism
All we are saying is give death a chance
All we are saying is give death a chance
- Popular Jingle in Shal-Mari
"We have campaigns to cure Aids, Cancer, Impotence, Abuse, Free Speech (for and against), Stupidity, and the really ugly hairy warts that are on Saminga's ass. But there is no doubting it, the one thing we don't have is a cure of Death. Look at these numbers! It has a 100% mortality rate! It's the leading killer in all age groups! And no one is doing _a thing about it_. The problem is just being ignored by our industry leaders. We shouldn't be lying down and letting Death just have it's way! We should be fighting this awful plague!"
- Media Commercial Advertisement for People Against Death
There's a new Media campaign, and it's sweeping the Principalities. Everyone is walking around wearing sporty little black ribbons pinned to their coats. There is public outcry against this horrible, ignored plague which is striking mankind, and yes, even demonkind.
There is support for the Campaign Against Death. Demons Against Death, it originally was, but it's been brought Earthside by well placed and overeager agents, and it's starting to spread among Mankind. And worse, it's starting to catch among the Angels.
One day, there was this Balseraph of the Media, and he was sitting at his desk in Perdition staring out of his nice high rise office window at the glittering silver buildings and pondering his existence while chewing idly on a pencil. He'd had a pretty good job working for Nybbas - a few distinctions, a Word, and a handful of flunkies to scare the fear of Lucifer into. He'd had his highs and his lows, he'd been a good servitor, but right now, he just needed a new project to work on. He'd done it all in the last 100 years, and it was all, frankly, getting a little old.
But there he was, surfing the net, his mind wandering over his current project, when came across a web page (http://www.gargaro.com/ribbons.html"). There was this vast array of very popular Ribbon Campaigns laid out before him. There was a ribbon for Aids Awareness, for Free Speech, for Prostate Cancer, for the protection of Animals and Women and the goo that grows underneath your fingernails. He'd always been mildly annoyed by the Ribbon Campaigns, and the Habbalah in the office just down the hall which held Word in particular. And he was thinking, "Man, they have a ribbon for everything, the crazy bastards."
His mind started working. He was wondering if he could take advantage of this, since it seemed to be doing pretty well with the populance. It looked like every campaign known to man - and demon - had a little colored piece of ribbon attached to it. Except one.
He slithered up away from his desk and went to go pound on the door down the hall. "Jonesy?" He called in to the Habbalah after he dodged the manditory flying office equipment, aimed poorly at his head. "Do I have a proposition for you..."
Three Weeks Later.
Between jingles, posters, so-called Celebrity support, commercial spots on TV, and being printed on the back of 2 liter bottles of suspiciously carbonated carmelly beverages, everyone in Shal-Mari is talking about how this Death plague is everywhere. People have come out on television to tell horrible stories about loved ones who had been struck down by this terrible Death plague. Some say that even Prince Kobal himself has been spotted in theaters sporting a neatly pinned black ribbon on his tastily chosen bright neon orange sport jacket.
Everyone's talking about how the top dogs of Hell have been tacitly ignoring this problem, except some rumblings from Saminga, but no one would ever have _him_ on tv. They pay taxes, they pay rent, they put up with crime and the Game at the same time, so someone, somewhere, should be working on a cure. Why the Hell aren't they? Literally? What are our Princes doing?
Vapulan's top Techologists had spots on television where they carefully explained this problem in detail, with pictures. Fingers were pointed at the common causes of Death in the newspapers - Fate, the War, Nightmares, and several very well dressed representatives denied these rumors before committees on prime time. The Game put their own spin, pointing out that only Renegades acquired a bad case of Death, so maybe that was the cause of the terrible disease - has anyone researched it?
This was all well and good, just another wild fad sweeping Hell, until the normal caste of highly placed Earthbound servitors started wearing little black ribbons on their jackets, and passing them out to humans, explaining their significance. And worse, it's becoming _popular_ among the humans. Why isn't anyone doing anything about all this Death? You'd think that, with all the advances in Medical Technology these last few years, that someone would have had a cure by now. Where are all our tax dollars going? We keep spending more on the military, and people keep dying! Horrors!
And it's come to pass that, yes, Angels may very well a leading cause of death among Demonkind. There are late night TV specials that discuss this very thing in Shal-Mari, and people showing up with bad life experiences on demonic talk shows. Videos are being released, 'Death, You, and How to Survive It'. Books are being published.
This is a plague which can't just be passed up. Something must be done. What about all those Malakim, going around killing demons who are minding their own business? What about those overly enthusiastic servitors of the Sword? Does Death have a 100% mortality rate among them? Does anyone want to go find out? It just might be that Angels are just as subseptible to Death as Demons are, even as Humans are, and that they too need to find a cure. What are the _Archangels_ doing about this? Does anyone know?
And the Archangels were passing it on as just another silly fad, another diabolical plot. Just ignore it, they told their servitors. And if they are wearing those stupid black ribbons, kill them twice for good measure. The last thing we need is a Hell fad up here. And this seemed to work until Novalis showed up one day wearing a black ribbon...
[Fill in Superior Reactions Here]
Em says: Oh, you want a game seed from this, do you? Why, it's simple. Just have them find the source of all this Ribboning and kill them off. Besides, the Balseraph and Habbalah have probably moved on to bigger and better projects by now....
- Em, Happy Fun Balseraph! Look, I have my own Ribbon!
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Elizabeth McCoy <firstname.lastname@example.org>
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