Darkness. Good thing, too -- sunlight doesn't go with my style. What is this; I, ancient of the Bourgeois, being forced to meet with a Daft Bloke in some grimy alley? Next time, I'll pick the meeting place -- It'll take days to get the chewing gum off my shoes. And he's late. Ten more minutes and I'm getting back into my Limo.
by Jacob Williamson
Art by andi jones
There it is again -- wet dog. Come on, we have animal shelters for a reason, people!
Ah, yes, here he comes. One cannot sneak up on a predator. Catlike, I turn, facing my prey, my merchant. You know, for a Daft Bloke, this one looks awfully calm. Heavy boots, scruffy hair, a five-o'clock shadow you could strip paint with -- looks more like a Marmoseta! But I approach, "unarmed."
"Are you Weird Earl?"
He shakes his head lazily. That was helpful, Blokes never give a straight answer. "Grand. You brought my merchandise, yes?" I hold out my hand in greeting; he takes it, friendly enough.
"Said I'm not Weird Earl," he growls low in his throat, and gets . . . bigger. Nine feet of black fur and yellow teeth. And he's still holding my hand.
"Ah, well, perhaps we can cut some sort of deal, then -- I never liked Earl, odd fellow, not all there if you know what I mean, good doggie, I shall give you a biscuit if you let go of the nice hand."
Again, a lazy shake of the head. Then the werewolf lifts me over his shoulders, begins the wind-up --
"Stop! Why are you doing this?"
"Thought would be fun!"
-- and the pitch.
When I come to, I'm halfway through the wall of the alley, face to face with a cat food cannery. Third time this week. I swear, I should be getting Frequent Flyer miles.
Toon: World of Obsessive GloominessSomewhere between the bright hope of dawn and the darkest midnight, a world hangs in the balance. The fates of men are in the hands of creatures of shadow, monolithic omnicorporations, and entities which could devour the Elderly Gods for a midmorning snack. Any hope of finding right and wrong is lost in a flood of grays and inexplicably quoted material.
Put on your best black, spin your most morbid album, and wear your gloomies and angsties proud, kids -- we're going to have fun!
Disclaimer: We at Tooniversal Tours are proud of our record of consumer safety and satisfaction. Over the years, we have sought to give you, the customer, the thrills and excitement you so richly deserve. We have brought you Dungeonworld, the Way-Out West and many other universes to explore. The recent desire for a world of doom and uncertainty is a strange and confusing trend, but what the hey, it's your dollar. Welcome to our newest attraction. No refunds, all damage to property is absolutely not our fault, and if you get bitten by a vampire, tough noogies.
VampiresPlotters and schemers, The Head Honchos. Vampires have had more than a few years to build their webs of power, and even though they can't have a business lunch at a sidewalk cafe they control everything! More on the vampires later.
WerewolvesNature's little deli meat slicers, werewolves roam the woods and mop up anybody the vampires left behind. Their basic philosophy can be summed up in seven simple words: "If you don't like it, maul it." In particular, they don't like vampires, litterbugs, politicians, journalists, Corporate CEOs, or each other. This policy keeps the werewolves very busy. Werewolves get their own subsection. They're special.
WizardsThere's magic in the world. It's hard to find under the grime, but it's there. A few lucky weirdness magnets have gotten hold of the power to mess with reality. There aren't many of them, and for some odd reason the vampires and the werewolves both hate them. Magic works, but it's fraught with disasters (like falling pianos and the odd nuclear warhead). Wizards have a difficult road to travel, but they only get three paragraphs and a sentence fragment.
Just Us MundanesNormal people, day-to-day types. Police officers, librarians, FBI agents, university professors, and victims of every shape and species. As surprising as it sounds, Mundanes still outnumber the Forces of Night by a good hundred to one. Almost all Mundanes have a special Shtick at level 10, Ignore the Blindingly Obvious, an amazing power that saves them from an inferiority complex. The best Mundanes can completely forget a werewolf attack! A few Mundanes learn to really see the strange world they live in. A word to the smart vampires: watch out for them. Mundanes don't get much of anything at all, except the occasional chalk outline . . .
New Rules and Shticks
Vampires"Immortality. Immortality and the great clothes."
-- Baron Revenagle III, Duke of Miscyllvania, when asked what he liked best about being a vampire.
Vampires have been with us for a very long time, posing as mortals and preying on society since . . . well, for a very long time. The first recorded vampire, from whom all others trace their descent, was one Bernie Du'Rottwieler, a vicious dog who forswore his mortality for fangs and a snappy cape. Since his transformation many other vampires have populated our fair planet, establishing lairs and theme parks from which to work their dark plots. And with all Time for your agenda, you can work some pretty dark plots!
Vampirism (10 points/level 4, 8 Plot Points for each additional level)
Vampires live a long time. Du'Rottwieler celebrated his 875th birthday last week, and the light from the candles kept most of the guests at bay. With a possible life span of a millennium or more, the fact that Vampirism is such an expensive shtick isn't so bad -- most vampire characters will outlive their players. They can afford to take a long-term view of little things like Plot Points. Luckily, or unluckily for vampire hunters, the shtick package comes with all sorts of interesting powers.
A vampire lives forever. Really, really forever. They don't breathe, don't drink water and are only uncomfortable if zapped with a Death Ray. Vampires can be hurt by magic, fire, sunlight and wooden stakes -- most other weapons won't work. Wooden stakes are available at any fencing store. For magic and enchanted weapons, consult your local wizard or pawn shop. If a vampire is hit by sunlight, she Falls Down for a very long time and won't be back until next nightfall.
Besides stakes and fire and such, each vampire has a few special weaknesses. Many become weak or nauseated in the presence of garlic or tofu. Some can't cross running water. Most are allergic to crosses and churches, although some religious vampires cannot enter a comic book store. Special weaknesses vary between each vampire, so if you want to play one . . . be creative.
Yes, vampires drink blood. Unless the players are in a gory mood, the Animator should probably skip over these scenes.
Four basic types of vampires have cropped up in the tabloids, although others probably exist. Each "family" has its own special powers, weaknesses and unique character.
The BourgeoisAs the Upper Crust of the vampire class, the Bourgeois maintain appearances. They dress to perfection, have excellent diction, and decorate with the latest in cobweb motifs. The Bourgeois know they're better than the other vampire families, and are out to prove it! It is required that a Bourgeois fly into hysterics if she gets dirty.
Power: Modeling themselves after the famous noble, Count Dauntublahstov, the Bourgeois have mastered the art of mind control. If she makes her Vampirism roll, a Bourgeois may command someone exactly as if she had the Hypnotism shtick!
Weakness: Appearances are important. A Bourgeois must look nice at all times. Even worse, the Bourgeois's superior attitude prevents her from saying please. Only in the worst possible situations can she ask for help . . .
Quote: "Now, if we will just put down the gun and forget about our little assassination, we can all get along with our little lives."
Daft BlokesSome vampires spend years plotting webs of intrigue, playing enemies like pawns in "wheels within wheels" of cunning beyond the abilities of short-sighted mortal man to fathom. The Daft Blokes can't, and won't. As a family they are completely insane, to a member, much more so than an average animated individual. While they are capable of some engaging conversations, the Daft are out of their element in an ordered world. In the Tooniverse they're masters of illogic.
Power: As if any given Daft Bloke wasn't already schizophrenic enough for any three Toon characters, their special power gives them the ability to Read Minds! Use the rules for the Mind Reading shtick (p. TTG166).
Weakness: As we have already established, the Daft Blokes are very, very realistically challenged. If the Animator catches a Bloke acting in a rational manner he should assign him all sorts of penalties.
Quote: "What's that on your shoulder? Yes! Pink, pink! Woobah! I'm not a vampire, are you a vampire? Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Marvin -- he was a sort of neo-cubist guy, with a foot."
Icky Sewer DwellersNasty, ugly tunnel-haunting monsters. Even other vampires dislike the Icky Sewer Dwellers' company. They are usually totally disgusting and have very low Chutzpah scores.
Power: Because humans, vampires and most other species avoid them, the Icky Sewer Dwellers have learned to talk to the animals . . . and control them! By making his Vampirism roll, the Sewer Dweller can control up to his Smarts score in "normal," non-Player animals. If the Animator thinks its funny, the Icky Sewer Dweller might be able to control a Player's character, but it's not a nice thing to do.
Weakness: Well, they're ugly!!! The Icky Sewer Dwellers have big, twisty fangs, lumpy foreheads, and generally look like they've had a rough time of death. An Icky Sewer Dweller can never fool any reasonably intelligent creature into believing he's not a hideous monster, and will never be invited to a party. Amazingly enough, Mundanes sometimes miss this.
Quote: "Boo! Hee, hee -- Hans, did I scare you? Hans? Hans?"
Marmoseta"In a swirl of night-black smoke Nosfuratu, the King of the Undead, turned himself into an aardvark." The best that could be said of the Marmoseta is they don't decimate small villages. They rarely stay in any one place long enough to put wrinkles in their pants, let alone terrorize the locals. The worst one might say about them is that they are the most intense, unsettling and confused of all the vampiric families. The Marmoseta wander like gypsies, stalking through the night like (or more frequently, as) wolves, and worrying the local vampire hunters. A Marmoseta is more terrifying still on that rare occasion when he gets all of his tricks working properly.
Power: Like the vampires of literature, the Marmoseta can assume four forms: the shape of a bat, wolf, cloud of mist and kumquat. This is assuming -- here's the big "but" -- assuming they make their shtick roll. For all practical purposes this power is identical to the Shape Change shtick.
Weakness: The Marmoseta are understandably muddled about their identities. They are prone to long bouts of introspection and often "forget" who they really are. It is perfectly appropriate and in character for a Marmoseta to Fall Down by stepping off a cliff, flapping his arms as he plunges to a violent death or whatever a vampire would plunge to. The Animator should encourage this sort of behavior.
Quote: "The woods, the wilds -- can you hear them calling? Yes, that's it. No, not the mosquitoes. They're family. The other voice. The whiny one that keeps saying -- '' scratches at flea " -- your name."
Werewolves"Well, it's really nice. You get to run around in the woods and no-one tells you to put your laundry in the hamper. Of course, we don't actually need clothes, but the principle's the same. Honestly, why are you asking me all these questions?"
-- Lobo Garunoviche, Interview with a Werewolf
Mankind fears that which it does not understand. Early cave-dwellers huddled in the night, telling stories of skin-changing demons. Wolf howls in the distance brought forth tales of nightmarish creatures, both human and wolf, monsters from the hidden corners of humanity's subconscious. Of course, modern toaster ovens are deathly terrified of a creature they hint at in stories of "She who Comes with Sledgehammer and Wire Clippers," but we'll deal with her in a later Toon article.
Like all special powers, Lycanthropy -- the ability to turn into a wolf -- is a Shtick, but a special one, a package of powers. There's the basic "Do Werewolf Things" Shtick, but when you create your werewolf character you also get an amazing Free Bonus Power! (Now how much would you pay?!?) This bonus power should be treated as a separate shtick in all respects.
Lycanthropy (7 pts.)
Your character may change shape, assuming the form of a true wolf or a "hybrid" form, a big drooling monster with claws, fur, sharp teeth and opposable thumbs. This hybrid can walk on its hind legs and looks just a bit like the character in his regular form; if he normally wears a pink shirt and glasses, his half-wolf, mostly humanoid form will have a pink shirt, glasses and lots of fur. A character's attributes and the Skills under those attributes are modified in each special form:
-- In "normal" form, the character's attributes are just those listed on the character sheet.
-- In "hybrid" form, the werewolf gets +2 Muscle and -2 Chutzpah (try fast-talking and growling at the same time!)
-- In "wolf" form, the character gets +1 Muscle, +2 Zip, -2 Smarts and can't talk or pick things up (the character's wolf form is more like a "real" wolf than a "cartoon" wolf -- no thumbs).
-- In both Hybrid and Wolf form, the werewolf gets an extra 8 hit points due to its extra fur and muscle!
Werewolves, Healing and Silver: It has been said that werewolves can be hit only by silver weapons. This is not the case -- but only silver weapons will do any good! They heal really fast, which is why they can get into as many fights as they do. Each round, a werewolf has a 50-50 chance to heal one die of damage, unless it was hurt by fire or magic.
The werewolf's well-known weakness -- silver -- provides a hunter all sorts of protection. If a werewolf is hit by a silver weapon, there is a 50-50 chance he will Fall Down on the spot, with a great deal of drama. For reasons unknown, silver weapons freshly pulled from a Bag of Many Things have no effect on a werewolf. It's just one of those things.
Werewolves and the Moon: Under a Full Moon, werewolves do not need to make a Shtick roll to change shape. The Animator may roll a die any time there is a full moon in the sky and a werewolf gets angry, embarrassed or frustrated. About half the time, the werewolf gets really angry and goes on a rampage. The rest of the time, he or she takes a deep breath and counts to ten. It is never a good idea to paint little moon pictures on a werewolf's glasses. Never.
Werewolves and The Blot: The beginning came suddenly. Larry the Armadillo was being exploded by his Arch-Enemy, Slimy Neil. He Fell Down, which really didn't surprise anybody. The surprise came three minutes later, when Larry didn't show up at the next scene change. And he didn't come back in the next episode. Or the next season. Or in the movie spin-off, "Larry Comes Back." He just didn't get back up!
Slimy Neil, in a fit of grief, dropped an anvil on his own head. He was never seen (in three dimensions) again. Since then, at least 20 incidences of characters not Getting Back Up have been recorded, and the reports come in on a monthly basis. The werewolves blame this horrid phenomenon on what they call the Blot.
The Blot is a terrible un-creature who exists to make the universe gloomier. It uses its nasty powers to make characters stay flattened . . . permanently! No-one has seen the Blot, but the werewolves claim the Serious Police, Porcs, vampires, Mad Scientists, Wizards and street mimes are its minions. But they fight against each other for the same reason; this opinion is not widely shared by Wizards, vampires and so forth.
For a prime example of the Blot and its effects on an otherwise content universe, see Craig Shaw Gardner's Ciniverse Cycle.
There are four different types of werewolves (they call themselves "Packs"), each with a different bonus shtick, appearance and general world view. While each Pack of werewolves loves to fight Vampires, Monsters and Villains, they seem to prefer fighting each other . . .
The Grass WalkersQuote: "Like, what's the hurry? There's always time for a run through the trees. Nah -- you don't need your flashlight. Leave it here. And I'll hold your wallet for you, too."
Appearance: Big gray wolf, like in a nature documentary. In their normal and hybrid forms, Grass Walkers wear tie-dye clothes, bell-bottom pants and long hair.
Philosophy: "We're all part of a big cosmic cycle, ya' know? Nature's important. We should all get back to our roots." The Grass Walkers are very fond of the Great Outdoors, more so than the other werewolf Packs. They spend much of their time in the wilderness, trying to get in touch with their inner selves.
Bonus Power: The Walkers can use their Lycanthropy power on other characters, turning them into wolves! Use the above modifiers for the wolf form. No, they can't turn them into nine-foot wolf monsters.
Black FurriesQuote: "Grrrr . . . "
Appearance: Big black wolf, like in a horror film. Black Furries like to wear heavy metal T-shirts, torn black pants and interesting weapons.
Philosophy: "Violence is fun!" Black Furries have given werewolves a bad name. They're the mean ones, the monsters that go around persecuting innocent campers in cheesy horror films. They always have really high Muscle scores and do not make nice party guests.
Bonus Power: In their hybrid form, a Black Furry werewolf can use the Incredible Strength shtick. Even worse, they use it with Break Down Door! (No Virginia, there is no wall . . . )
TanukiQuote: "Okay. Now, I think it's 'left foot, left foot, right foot, turn, shake the rattle, bang the drum, spin, right foot right foot howl, spin, Invocation to the Thunder Spirit, spin, right foot, jump, throw the drum into the fire, step, jump jump spin, crouch-and-leap, shake the rattle, step and hold.' Yeah, that did it. Now, pick a card."
Appearance: Red wolf, like in the zoo, often splotched with paints. Tanuki wear crystals, copper jewelry, have long braided hair and carry miscellaneous occult gear in their Back Pockets. They often wear tattoos with Spiritual Meaning.
Philosophy: "Knowledge is Power." The Tanuki have learned many tricks, and are not afraid to work with strange entities to learn even more. They almost never tell their secrets. A Tanuki often learns Spells instead of "normal" shticks, and is fascinated by any sort of magic.
Bonus Power: Tanuki characters have a very dangerous power. The Tanuki may "bind a spirit" into any plant or inanimate object. This works as the "Animate" powers in Supertoon (p. TTG160), but the animated object is totally out of the Tanuki's control! (Roll a die: On a 1-2, the "spirit" of the plant or item is friendly toward the Tanuki. On a 5-6 it is totally malignant. Otherwise, the spirit will pay no attention to the werewolf, and may just get up and go for a brisk walk.) To use this power, the Tanuki must touch any plant or inanimate object smaller than a car and make a Shtick roll.
Children of ConcreteQuote: "Come on! We're gonna play 'fetch the cop!'"
Appearance: Wolf with matted, scruffy fur, somewhere between a hunter in darkness and a junkyard mongrel. The Children wear trendy clothes and are addicted to electronic toys and digital watches.
Philosophy: "Embrace the City." The Children of Concrete lived in the cities when cities first crawled out of the sea. They feel that the city is an ideal environment for every creature's physical and spiritual growth, and rally behind the cry of "Progress" as if it were the true purpose of existence. If it ain't digital, electric or made of cinder blocks, it probably isn't worth keeping (except in an appropriate theme museum!)
Bonus Power: The Children of Concrete may use Stunt Driving (p. TTG32). The Children claim that they are in touch with the Urban Spirits when they use this power. In truth, they all share a really good driving instructor.
What do they want? What are the werewolves' goals? First and foremost, they fight against the Blot, forever questing to save the Tooniverse from its black tendrils. Secondly, each Pack wages a continual war with the vampires. Neither group is quite sure why the vampires and werewolves battle, but their war occupies a large chunk of time. The werewolves' last great passion is to fight each other. The Tanuki wage a holy war with the Furries, and the Children of Concrete are invariably at odds with the Grass Walkers. The rest of creation is content to sit and watch the fun -- whichever side wins, at least the other teams won't be around!
Wizards and Magic"Sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a biology lab with a 700-foot blast radius."
-- Macphearson's Guidebook to the Hermetic Paths
The more or less complete rules for Magic and spells can be found in the Dungeons and Toons universe (p.TTG77, 92). However . . .
It's a mean world out there. Unless a wizard is completely alone, there's a fair chance that something nasty will happen whenever she casts a spell. If her spell roll was an 11 or 12, use the Random Trap Table (TOON, p. 201) or favorite Random Disaster chart to figure out exactly what kind of spectacular failure occurs. If she tries to cast a spell around a Mundane, there's a fifty-fifty chance the spell won't work at all, and the wizard will get a random disaster instead of the spell she was trying to cast!
World of Gloominess wizards come in all sorts of clothes. Wise men, old priests, alchemists and even hackers could be spell-casters! It's still magic, no matter what the packaging looks like.
StuffAny Boy Scout can be prepared. It's much more important to be stylish . . .
Guns, Flamethrowers, Hand Grenades, Instruments of Ranged DestructionGuns are very stylish, but not particularly useful against werewolves and vampires. Hand grenades and flamethrowers can actually hurt the creatures of the night, but don't look good with tight jeans.
Longbows, Crossbows, Arrows, Archaic Instruments of Ranged DestructionExtremely stylish, but inconvenient. The Grass Walkers in particular love bows and arrows, while any vampire who has survived the Middle Ages will be a fair hand at archery. The Tanuki often turn up with magic bows . . .
Big Knives, Big Swords, Instruments of Up Close and Personal DestructionKnives and swords look good. The average werewolf can heft two longswords like pocketknives, most vampires are pretty quick with a rapier, and even wizards will admit that it's good to have a dagger around when that Guacamoleball fizzles.
SilverAfter hydrogen, silver is the most common element on the planet. It would have to be, to explain all the silver knives, swords and sledgehammers the werewolves keep around as "collector's items." Compared to the amount of silver the Furries alone have in stock, all four vampire families combined couldn't open a small jewelry store. Silver is stylish, but tarnishes.
Places to GoAny point of destination in the World of Gloominess is pretty much dangerous as the next one. Have a nice day.
The WoodsThe theoretical home of the werewolves, though they appear with alarming frequency in back allies and night clubs. The darkest forests are also great places to meet Marmoseta and certain hermit-type wizards.
Be careful! The deep, deep forest is really important to werewolves. If they didn't get around to it before, they'll certainly maim somebody who trespasses on their turf!
Urban SprawlsA favorite hunting ground for vampires, because nobody notices what goes on in the Urban Sprawls -- somehow, that Mundane ability to Ignore the Blindingly Obvious kicks in when they go near the lowest-rent districts. Also a favorite stomping ground for the Children of Concrete. The sewers and water ducts are the exclusive province of the Icky Sewer Dwellers.
Night ClubsThe epitome of coolness, a good night club has a magnetic attraction for the Bourgeois and Daft Blokes. The noisier leather and metal clubs attract a double handful of Black Furries. Despite the almost deafening clamor, the city's most popular night club is the meeting place for supernaturals of every stripe.
Things to Do
The Velvet Shower CurtainRemember, kids, don't mess with wizards. One minute, a raiding party of werewolves and a clique of Daft Blokes on a lark were trying to hide from a sorcerer who just happened to walk into the bathroom at exactly the wrong moment, the next . . . well, where exactly is here? Now vampires and werewolves must work together to get out of this strange, horrible world where everything is warped and twisted.
Okay, Animators, this is the perfect opportunity to run your Toony Tyke and Way-Out West crossovers. Star Toon is probably not a good idea.
Rage over BoiseSome truly demented, Blot-serving vampire with a penchant for magic is working an evil spell over the innocent potatoes of Boise, Idaho. The dark spuds are attacking in droves, monstrous and fell tubers with huge, glowing eyes. The time for action is now -- before the yam crop succumbs!
The Blue Tartan DancersA new Pack has turned up, threatening to upset the balance of bloodshed. The Tanuki hate the Furries, and the Walkers abhor the Children -- but who will fight the Blue Tartan Dancers? These bagpipe-wielding werewolves will be the end of incivility as we know it!
The Lost SupperIt's embarrassing, but it happens. Some vampire gets distracted at a delicate moment, and their dinner makes a break for freedom. This one was a reporter, though -- not for a Tabloid, but a journalist from the Metropolitan News! We may need to hire a wizard for this one -- that whistle-blower sure can hide . . .
The Errata of MadnessWhere does information go when you press the delete key? Mugwump the Half-blind, professional research wizard, has compiled the world's expurgated and lost data into his notebook, the Liber XX. The vampiric Secret Masters or the werewolves' Elders have found out about this reference work to end all reference works, and of course they're going to send their most disposable stooges -- ah, mightiest warriors -- to find the codex. Nobody told them that the book was the size of three elephants . . .
Sammy was HereHow were we supposed to know he was a werewolf?
The Bourgeois are all apologies about this one, if only to keep the situation from becoming totally explosive. Sammy Mud-on-his-Jeans, Child of Concrete, was mistaken for just another teenager, and Henrietta Henrietta of the Daft Blokes took him home with her. Now, he's an insane vampire -- who can turn into a big, hulking monster! And if that wasn't bad enough, there's a witch over here who swears Sammy was her apprentice. We're going to have to move quickly before he blows everybody's cover!
Project DaylightHere's an odd one; it's time to play the Mundanes. Can you go through a simple day when you can't even see half your customers, and your son really needs a shave and won't tell you where he goes every night? Try playing an intrepid government agent, working to undermine an ancient conspiracy of tax evasion. Here's a chance to get into some serious trouble.
Bernie Du'RottwielerBernie is a white shaggy dog with sharp fangs. He wears an elegant black suit with a long cape. Bernie speaks with a Russian accent and never gets anyone's name right -- he's over 800 years old, after all. He carries Tabasco sauce, sunblock and Vampire Hunter-B-Gone in a spray can.
Beliefs and Goals: Survive. Set an example for the other vampires -- you're the first, after all. Make dramatic entrances, dramatic exits, and avoid wooden stakes like the plague.
Hit Points: 15 Speed: 8
Break Down Door: 6
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 10
Drive Vehicle: 3
Fire Gun: 8
Hide/Spot Hidden: 8 (10 for Dramatic Entrances)
Identify Dangerous Thing: 10
Resist Fast-Talk: 8
Set/Disarm Trap: 8
Track/Cover Tracks: 10
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 6
Sleight of Hand: 6
Vampirism (Bourgeois): 10!
Myra Wags-Her-Tail-AlotMyra Wags-Her-Tail-Alot is usually a pretty young lady who wears tacky pink flamingo jewelry and puppy-dog sweaters. Occasionally, she's a really nasty Grass Walker, who still wears flamingos. She's cheerful and has a kind thought in her head, even when snarling. Myra carries breath spray, herbal tea and flowers in her Back Pockets.
Beliefs and Goals: Cheerfulness wins hearts. We werewolves aren't monsters -- just misunderstood. Always apologize after ripping someone's throat out. Always tell people the wrongs of littering and pollution, and if they don't listen, well . . . hopefully they'll listen next lifetime.
Hit Points: 8 Speed: 5
Break Down Door: 4
Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5
Drive Vehicle: 2
Fire Gun: 2
Hide/Spot Hidden: 7
Identify Dangerous Thing: 3
Resist Fast-Talk: 4
Set/Disarm Trap: 2
Track/Cover Tracks: 8
Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 3
Sleight of Hand: 3
Lycanthropy (Grass Walkers): 6
Shape Change Others to Wolves: 5
Come Up with Cheerful Aphorism: 12
Article publication date: May 21, 1999
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