This article originally appeared in Pyramid #9

Swine's Eye Theatre

"In a Pig's Eye!"



There are no such things as Pigs . . . tm

Those Eyes. Like the Stygian pits of the trough. I hear more snorting behind me. I want to run -- I don't want to run -- I love them -- I hate them --

Why me?

I stare into them, and I am lost. Down on my knees, the inky oinking echoing across the farmyard. The smell of cheese, thick in the air.

What the heck am I doing? This is dumb!

Yes, it is. And here it is again, twice as big as life -- Hampire: Live-Action. Join the Hampires on their annual raid into the Ace warehouses. Help them steal into the night and take what is rightfully theirs -- thirty-five clams of your money.

Pigs We Are, Lest Pigs We Be-be-a Be-be-a . . . Turn Into.

Box includes: The Book of the Hammed, containing insight into the character of a Freddite; The Book of Mud, a real historical document containing accounts of how early Hampires learned to suck ink and throw mud; an official Hampire nose, with elastic; a guide to semaphore, that wonderful language of flags which Hampires use to resolve conflict in their incredibly convoluted culture; and an ink dropper on a chain to wear around your neck, distinguishing you from all the other people dressed like pigs in a dark club using semaphore flags across a crowded dance floor.

Join Us. Wallow in the Mud.

Play the Masked Ace Raid.

Article publication date: October 1, 1994

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