From owner-in_nomine-digest@lists.io.com Sat Oct 4 04:57:15 1997 Return-Path: Received: from lists.io.com (lists.io.com [199.170.88.15]) by pyramid.sjgames.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id EAA15585 for ; Sat, 4 Oct 1997 04:57:15 -0500 Received: (from majordom@localhost) by lists.io.com (8.8.7/8.8.5) id EAA26908 for in_nomine-digest-outgoing; Sat, 4 Oct 1997 04:50:36 -0500 Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 04:50:36 -0500 Message-Id: <199710040950.EAA26908@lists.io.com> From: owner-in_nomine-digest@lists.io.com (in_nomine-digest) To: in_nomine-digest@lists.io.com Subject: in_nomine-digest V1 #384 Reply-To: in_nomine-l@lists.io.com Sender: owner-in_nomine-digest@lists.io.com Errors-To: owner-in_nomine-digest@lists.io.com Precedence: bulk in_nomine-digest Saturday, October 4 1997 Volume 01 : Number 384 In this digest: IN> Prince of a guy IN> What was once Lilim and Malakim, now way off topic Re: IN> Prince of a guy Re: faq/errata ( was: Re: IN> d666 patches) Re: IN> On playing demons Re: IN> Do we need 'things' to play LARP?? Re: IN> My theory on Revelations. Re: IN> Vessel death and 'A Bright/Dark Dream' Re: IN> Lilim and Malakim (fwd) Re: Re: IN> White Wolf's Games vs. In Nomine Re: IN> How I See Demons Re: IN> On playing demons IN> How I See Demons IN> The Angel of Etiquette IN> The Demon of Sarcasm ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 3 Oct 1997 22:08:31 -0500 (CDT) From: Dorothy Bixler Subject: IN> Prince of a guy On Fri, 3 Oct 1997 CeIestiaI7@aol.com wrote: (snip) > ===============================================%< CUT HERE===== > David, Prince of Guys > > ===============================================%< CUT HERE===== ROTFL- My, Gods! I used to date him in high school! Hey, Donald... its Matt! > > Scott -- > Mercurian of Flowers, > Angel of Chilling Out. > > Someone else can do the Archangel of Babes... 0:-) > ( begin suck-up mode) But we already have Beth... (end suck-up mode). *Dorothy Michelle Bixler * mudmh10@ecom.ecn.bgu.edu* "Gidget, have you been laying with the Horned One again?" -MST3K's Mike from "The Thing the Couldn't Die" ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 3 Oct 1997 22:15:59 -0500 (CDT) From: Dorothy Bixler Subject: IN> What was once Lilim and Malakim, now way off topic On Fri, 3 Oct 1997, Elizabeth McCoy wrote: > At 8:14 AM -0500 10/3/97, Donald G Bixler wrote: > >> Why, break out the whips, cuffs, and whipped cream of course. (Not to > >> mention the chocolate pudding. Mmmm. Chocolate pudding with whipped > >> cream.) > > > >What? No costumes? ;'} > > Hafta be something easy to clean. [ she types any more about *what* materials would be easy to clean>] That's what I love about Vapula- all those synthetic (or is that sinthetic?) detergents. Works wonders on getting odd stains out. > > >Oops da Ogre, Soldier of Cthulhu "Hey Yves, read _this_ book!" > > (nononononono...) > (Yves: "Darn it. I thought I had that _Al Azif_ book under lock and key.) *Dorothy Michelle Bixler * mudmh10@ecom.ecn.bgu.edu* Who thought she was a soldier of Nyarlathotep but is apparently having her dreams loaned out to stranger beings "Gidget, have you been laying with the Horned One again?" -MST3K's Mike from "The Thing the Couldn't Die" ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 3 Oct 1997 22:48:48 -0500 (CDT) From: Donald G Bixler Subject: Re: IN> Prince of a guy > > ===============================================%< CUT HERE===== > > David, Prince of Guys > > > > ===============================================%< CUT HERE===== > > ROTFL- My, Gods! I used to date him in high school! Hey, Donald... its > Matt! Oh, dear sweet Eris, no! Please, no one on the list has done something horrid enough to deserve acquaintance with, with Duckboy! Perhaps the IN versions of Anton and Aquino, but not Matt... > > Someone else can do the Archangel of Babes... 0:-) > > > ( begin suck-up mode) But we already have Beth... (end suck-up mode). Funny, I thought that it'd be Christopher, or does he have a minimum age requirement? Oh, other babes... > *Dorothy Michelle Bixler * mudmh10@ecom.ecn.bgu.edu* Oops da Ogre, who still likes the idea of Yves reading the Necronomicon mudgb4@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 00:04:30 +0000 From: "Nathaniel Eliot" Subject: Re: faq/errata ( was: Re: IN> d666 patches) > and what about those poor unfortunates (such as myself) who do not have > a functional web browser? i already tried to get these by anon ftp, but > they are not available there... You're using the DOS box, right? Best I can recommend is get onto a Unix account, use Lynx, and ignore the lack of graphics. Or use a computer from a local library or college. Nathaniel Eliot temujin9@ix.netcom.com "Go to hell!" "Heaven, heaven. At least get the zip code right." - The Prophecy ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 00:04:30 +0000 From: "Nathaniel Eliot" Subject: Re: IN> On playing demons > There is a real problem with the compatibility of YHWH's power and > goodness and the infinite horror of Hell. But at least the Angels > are trying to keep humanity from going there. Now if you want a > *third* faction that rebels against God on the grounds that he is > mean but doesn't serve Hell either on the grounds that *Hell* is > mean too, *that* would be an interesting game! I hope that if I get to run In Nomine this summer, my game heads this way. Like you said, interesting. Nathaniel Eliot temujin9@ix.netcom.com "Go to hell!" "Heaven, heaven. At least get the zip code right." - The Prophecy ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 00:04:30 +0000 From: "Nathaniel Eliot" Subject: Re: IN> Do we need 'things' to play LARP?? > >I'd recommend a hard container rather than this - your palm isn't > >entirely flat, and the dice may not land in your palm. Like I said > >earlier, a baby-food bottle with three mini-d6 works well. > > It could just be the name, and no offence, but a 'baby-food > bottle' sounds a bit crappy. It may not have even been a baby-food bottle - it was just about that size. It might also have been a small garlic container... > Maybe a small plastic collectable-card box? That, or the plastic boxes some vampire teeth makers will give you to keep your teeth in. The main traits are small, clear, and flat-bottomed. You probably want to use the little d6's as opposed to normal size dice. Nathaniel Eliot temujin9@ix.netcom.com "Go to hell!" "Heaven, heaven. At least get the zip code right." - The Prophecy ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 00:04:30 +0000 From: "Nathaniel Eliot" Subject: Re: IN> My theory on Revelations. > >I must have missed that. Which book? Librum Reliquarium is the only > >other supplement I know of at te moment. > > Fall of the Malakim. It's up on the New Products list. It was > there for a day a few months ago, and promplty taken down. Now, > that and Rev 5 are listed. Didn't find Fall of the Malakim. Did find several nice things, somewhat IN related (at least the first): * The book pages now have excerpts and art as standar features. Yay! * There are some of those Illuminati tee-shirts available still. Yay! * Metaverse is down, while it gets the GURPS system put in. It should be back by the end of October - see http:\\www.metaverse.com Yay! So it's fluff - so what? It's SJG fluff, and by god, I'm happy with SJG these days. Nathaniel Eliot temujin9@ix.netcom.com "This is my town. I know where the ketchup is." - Dan Smith ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 00:04:30 +0000 From: "Nathaniel Eliot" Subject: Re: IN> Vessel death and 'A Bright/Dark Dream' > Of course, that also means you can have a Prophecy-type autopsy. That only happens if the vessel is a low level one with no or low Role - higher Roles would make sure the body was actually born. A higher vessel would at least avoid the lack of eyes, IMO. Good point, though. > BTW, if Malakim can cheat Trauma, presumably they could choose to go > through it if they wanted to avoid appearing too weird - leave a > perfectly normal body behind, rather than vanish into thin air in front > of dozens of witnesses. This could probably go wrong if they really > pushed it, though. Creepy image of a Malakim sitting crosslegged in Heaven, concentrating very hard on the dead body he left (on what appeared to be a PCP induced rampage, killing several demons), while it is being autopsied... Nathaniel Eliot temujin9@ix.netcom.com "Go to hell!" "Heaven, heaven. At least get the zip code right." - The Prophecy ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 04 Oct 1997 10:28:08 +1000 From: Jason Mulligan Subject: Re: IN> Lilim and Malakim (fwd) cd skogsberg wrote: > ObAside: Upon spotting the "Trouble with Andre" Subject: line, how > many here were reminded of the Shakespeare's Sister song with the > same title? Nope. Bizzarely, I was reminded of that film a few years back about a seal. Had something about Andre in the title. - -- Jason Mulligan "The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd!" - Edmund Blackadder ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 01:57:09 -0600 (MDT) From: Kingsley Lintz Subject: Re: Re: IN> White Wolf's Games vs. In Nomine > >> Or do I have to get out the bullwhip and leather? > > Oh, THAT'LL end the conversation. > What, you humans *like* things like that? > Hey, WW sure do suck, don't it? > Hmph. Okay, time to build the cage for the pets... *ahem* [In slightly louder voice] Hey, WW sure do suck, don't it? ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 01:52:41 -0600 (MDT) From: Kingsley Lintz Subject: Re: IN> How I See Demons > I basically disagree with the rest of your position, though. I think demons > are working for the cause of Evil, even if not every demon is evil, and > angels are working for the cause of Good, even if not every angel is good. Yeah..though I think demons work for the cause of Evil and angels for the cause of Good in kind of the same way employees work for a company...as you get down the hierarchy, some of them aren't even quite clear on some of the mission statements. (And by the time you're done factoring in subsidiaries, mergers, etc...you find that Heaven is owned jointly by Coke and Ted Turner. But hey; what isn't?) > I'll answer to "Your Awesome Superiorness", with as many other honorifics > added on as you feel appropriate. Or David. Or even "Mr. Edelstein" (though Heck, I'll answer to "God"...and haven't been hit by lightning yet. But I get special dispensation. > -David ("Your Royal Perversity?" "Your Most Sarcastic Majesty?" Hmm.) I'm afraid MaBarry already has "Your Royal Perversity", and has held it for several years now...but we like YMS/M... ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 02:25:02 -0700 (PDT) From: nightgaunt@earthlink.net (Alexander Shearer) Subject: Re: IN> On playing demons >> I must state first: I don't buy DIs as any kind of dissuader. > >That's because you use statistics instead of seeing how the dice >fall. My dice do such crazy things sometimes... Mine are particularly staid, I guess. >>Some of the Band Resonances aren't terribly bad, and the >>Lilim Resonance is middlin' okay. It's just that there are Resonances (like, >>say, Dark Desire) > >That's a 10-point Servitor Attunement... (Malphas' Shedim have >something obnoxious, though.) Hmmm. Sorry about the terminology confusion. Regardless, wouldn't it be worth the points, if one was in a position to have it? That's a nasty power. > >>with which one can just torpedo a person, no matter what >>kind of life they live. Heck, that one doesn't even use the person's own >>darkest desires...it can be anything. Instant bestiality, say. Bleah. That >>bugs. > >Though I'd rule as a GM that it probably wouldn't do anything very >staining to the human's soul -- so even if they were twisted by DD, >even if they trashed their life, they'd probably wind up reincarnated >at worst, rather than Hellbound. So demons can trash people's lives, >but they can't recruit more power-sources for Hell without getting >the *human* to corrupt *himself* on that flat and easy road... But...it's the fact that they /can/ trash people's lives that gets me. I'm going to stop beating this horse, as I have come up with at least one demon I could actually play (Ibadim) and was having fun thoughts about a Calabite who regularly gets abused by his own servant...:) Anyway, I just don't like how Mr. Evil Shedim can step in for all of five minutes and screw your life up forever. Squicky indeed. > >> [As a quick aside, there's a cat in my apartment complex who wanders >>into any open window or door and gives the place a thorough examination. >>Kyrio of David? Then again, I don't know if David approves of his servants >>hanging around to be scratched behind the ears...] > >[ Oh, I don't know. It's part of the Role. ] > Right. That's why he sits there and meows at me until I do it. :) Alexander Shearer nightgaunt@earthlink.net gaunt@uclink4.berkeley.edu ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 05:38:50 -0400 From: David Edelstein Subject: IN> How I See Demons >>>"Prince David" will probably make it clear enough....<<< Thhhppttt! >>>(What about just "Edelstein"? Maybe it's from some of my Fencing teachers calling me "McCoy"...)<<< Yeah, well it makes me go back to my Army days. No thanks. - -David ("Sergeant"? Mmmm, no.) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 05:38:40 -0400 From: David Edelstein Subject: IN> The Angel of Etiquette No kidding. :) - -------------------------------------------- "Good day, I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. It's always a pleasure to meet an angel who's just earned his wings, so to speak. Yes, my servant told me you feel you have an affinity for my Word. I'm delighted to hear it, but I do feel it necessary to point out that I am rather particular. I hope you understand that it is meant as no reflection whatsoever on your potential as a loyal Servitor if I conclude that you would best serve the Host in another capacity. I will be more than happy to recommend you to another superior if that is the case. Good, good. Since we understand one another, perhaps you could start by telling me a little about your experiences as a reliever?" "Well, that sounds most promising. You do indeed possess exquisite manners. However, you seem to be laboring under a common misapprehension concerning my Word. I do not want to create more rituals in society just for the sake of having visible rituals. In fact, that kind of thinking often leads to abuses of my Word which have led to the sad repute into which it has fallen in recent years. Rituals must serve a purpose. Allow me to explain. "You are probably aware that the Angel of Dueling was once one of my Servitors. Sadly, he Fell years ago, but there is a reason why I have not sought to replace him. Consider: "At one time, it was considered socially acceptable for gentlemen to kill one another over slights of honor. This was not necessarily a good thing, and contrary to the accusations of Archangel Novalis, I never encouraged it. But by establishing rules of etiquette concerning duels, we limited the bloodshed and prevented these disputes from getting out of hand. "Now, however, society increasingly respects no rules whatsoever -- the ultimate extension of 'free expression'. But fundamentally, the only difference between drive-by shootings and pistols at dawn is that the latter were conducted under formal rules that limited the violence to the involved parties, and ostensibly ensured some measure of fairness. Both phenomena were and are precipitated by individuals who feel they have been shown a lack of respect, for which the only redress is bloodshed. Now, if Archangel Novalis believes she can restrain that violent impulse in humans, I applaud her efforts. In the meantime, however, we have the same situation - -- individuals unwilling to accept a non-violent solution to their problems. Given that, isn't encouraging rules to limit the scope of such engagements preferable to the indiscriminate retaliatory carnage to which we are now treated? Unfortunately, society can no longer accept the concept of etiquette limiting behavior which is considered immoral -- it can barely accept the concept of limiting behavior in any way whatsoever." "Do forgive me if I sound a trifle bitter on occasion. These are trying times for Etiquette. It is not about place settings and rules of precedence, my dear young angel...those things are merely the external manifestations of my Word. Etiquette is about making it possible for humans to coexist in an orderly manner. Etiquette provides a common frame of reference by which humans can understand one another and interact in a civilized manner. If you wish to be an angel of Etiquette, you must most assuredly be polite....but more importantly, you must have respect. Even demons can be polite -- but courtesy motivated by selfishness is just another way of getting what you want at the expense of others, and possibly not alerting them as quickly that they have been victimized. That is not Etiquette." When about to meet the Angel of Etiquette, some angels snicker, imagining a frivolous Cherub of Novalis fussing over whether the color of one's shoes matches the season. The snickers stop -- often to be replaced by incredulity -- when they learn that the Angel of Etiquette is a Malakite of the Sword. "Curtis" is the name he uses nowadays; the root of that name is "Courteous", and some of his older Servitors still call him that. He usually presents himself as a distinguished gentleman of elegant manner and dress...and oh yes, he is _always_ polite. God help the diabolical who thinks that Etiquette is incompatible with turning demons into bloody smears, though. Curtis is less reactionary than many Malakim -- if a demon is polite, he'll forbear smiting the diabolical immediately. But demons exist outside the bounds of etiquette -- they have already violated the conventions of celestial society that, to Curtis, define the rules of proper behavior. If possible, he'll wait until such time as it wouldn't be rude to anyone else present to destroy a demon, but if a demon manifests his infernal nature, Curtis will strike immediately. Sometimes one has to choose between the lesser of two evils, you see, and allowing a demon to continue to pervert the Symphony is a _much_ greater Heavenly etiquette violation than getting bloodstains on the carpet. The core of Etiquette is respect. Curtis is not some fussy pedant obsessing over what type of fork one uses to eat salad. Certainly, depending on the situation, one _should_ take care to use the correct fork....different rules for different occasions, after all. But formal dinner parties are meant to be enjoyable, not competitive events where the winner is the one who catches the most mistakes made by others. The important thing is that the rules to be followed must be understood by all. Creating rules of "etiquette" just to chastise those who don't know them is snobbery, and it's rude. Demons have done this a lot to Curtis's Word (they had a ball messing with him in the Victorian era), and he won't stand for it. Unfortunately, etiquette has fallen out of fashion in modern society. Many people now associate it with elitism and classism, and worse, consider it to be a hindrance to their right of "free expression." Diabolicals have done their work well, and Curtis has taken quite a beating. But he's not about to give up the fight....he is, after all, a Malakite. Outwardly, angels of Etiquette _do_ spend of a lot of time trying to teach and enforce rules of etiquette, including those for formal occasions. Curtis would as soon lick Lucifer's boots as show up at a white-tie affair with a black tie, or call his Superior "Laurence" in public. (That's _Archangel_ Laurence!) But Curtis sees Etiquette as the only way that people -- especially humans -- can coexist in a civilized manner. Curtis's ultimate goal is not to have everyone on Earth dressed in formal wear, eating off of fine China and always saying "please" and "thank you". It is to have everyone on Earth being polite to one another. Curtis realizes that being polite doesn't always mean being good. But it's very hard to be bad without being impolite, so the rules of etiquette, at the very least, make it easy to spot the sinners. If everyone knows the rules, and obeys the rules, there should be no unpleasant disputes, and those that occur can be resolved with a minimum of fuss. Of course this is rather like saying that if everyone loved and respected one another, there would be no war. But Curtis is nothing if not idealistic....he is, after all, a Malakite. What frustrates him the most is the free-for-all into which Western civilization has now descended, where "etiquette" has become synonymous with "stuffy and pretentious", and people have become convinced that only by expressing themselves freely can they be truly happy. It is bad to suppress one's own feelings to spare the feelings of others, it is bad to refrain from doing as one pleases because it might distress others -- true happiness can only be achieved by acting out impulsively and without consideration for anyone's needs but your own. Anyone who claims to be offended is just oversensitive, or trying to impose their morals on others. Rules and standards are the tools of dictators and the self-righteous. Not caring what anyone else thinks has become a virtue, as if taking pride in one's ability to offend was a sign of being principled -- and being "judgmental" is now a greater sin than being callous and insensitive. It's enough to turn a Malakite's stomach. Curtis perseveres, though. He is guardedly optimistic about places where things have gotten so bad that people are finally trying to turn it around, and he's delighted by the concept of "netiquette." (There isn't an Angel of Netiquette yet, but Curtis would like to talk to Jean about that.) He adores Judith Martin, better known as columnist Miss Manners, and has one of his most potent Cherubim watching over her. And he knows that, no matter how much the rules change and how bad society deteriorates, people will always have to have _some_ kind of order to their everyday existence. Without rules of any kind, people would act in a totally random manner and no one would be able to interact with anyone else except on a bestial level. It may be possible to live under anarchy (though don't tell Dominic that!), but humans simply can't live without etiquette SERVITORS OF ETIQUETTE Curtis has a small but dedicated following. His angels are experts on rules of etiquette, and they encourage the enforcement of those rules. They also encourage the developing of new rules and discarding outdated old ones as necessary. Curtis is rather picky about this, though -- he abandons a cherished convention only with great reluctance, and he's suspicious about new "innovations", when often just adapting an old rule to a new situation would do. Some Angels of Etiquette may appear ridiculously formal and polite -- it's common for Curtis's Servitors to go overboard. He doesn't mind...you can never be _too_ polite. What bothers him is if they begin to substitute ritual for underlying intent -- replacing substance with style. Angels of Etiquette are supposed to combat rudeness (politely!) and encourage civility, not just show off their sophistication. All Angels of Etiquette are also Servitors of Laurence, which means they have Laurence's Choir attunements (Curtis can't grant Choir attunements of his own), and may buy Laurence's Servitor attunements. They also have all the Rites and dissonance restrictions of both the Sword and Etiquette. DISSONANCE Angels of Etiquette earn dissonance for being rude. This means doing anything _they_ consider rude, not accidentally violating someone else's perceived notions of politeness. And making up rules of etiquette on the spot to trap an Angel of Etiquette won't work. On the other hand, clever demons can sometimes draw them into sticky situations. But minor etiquette violations, especially in a good cause, are tolerable. (For a Malakite of Laurence, Curtis is surprisingly flexible this way -- but most of his Malakim take a Vow "_Always_ follow etiquette", which means they don't have this leeway.) In other words, showing up at a white-tie affair wearing a black tie won't earn an Angel of Etiquette dissonance, if he had no choice. Doing or saying something you know is impolite just because it's convenient - -- or because you want to -- will. SERVITOR ATTUNEMENT ETIQUETTE INCARNATE This Servitor attunement, which almost all Angels of Etiquette buy, is just like Dominic's "Incarnate Law" attunement, except it gives the angel an instinctive knowledge of the local rules of etiquette, rather than the law. Of course, often the two overlap. Having this attunement also guarantees an angel will never fail a Savoir-Faire roll (treat a failed rolled, even on a default use of the skill, as having a check digit of 0). You must still have the skill in order to get the positive effects of knowing Savoir-Faire, however. An Angel of Etiquette who _doesn't_ have this attunement had better have Savoir-Faire at a high level. MALAKIM OF ETIQUETTE Malakim of Etiquette can apply their resonance to search for a subject's most courteous and/or discourteous acts, if they wish. "Noble/Ignoble" acts are not always the same as courteous and discourteous ones. This is not an attunement that one must buy -- Malakim of Etiquette get it for free, as it is simply a slight extension of their natural resonance. RITES * Defuse a tense or unfriendly situation by using etiquette * Spend half an hour teaching a child manners * Elicit a genuine apology (i.e. not one compelled by threat of bodily harm) from someone for being rude COURTEOUS, aka CURTIS The Angel of Etiquette Malakite Master of the Sword Corporeal Forces -- 5 Strength 10 Agility 10 Ethereal Forces -- 5 Intelligence 10 Precision 10 Celestial Forces -- 6 Will 12 Perception 12 Vessels: Human/4 (Charisma +2), Human/2 (spare vessel) Songs: Form (Corporeal/6, Ethereal/3), Harmony (Corporeal/5, Ethereal/6, Celestial/5), Light (Corporeal/4, Ethereal/2, Celestial/3), Numinous Corpus (Wings/6), Projection (Corporeal/4, Celestial/3), Shields (Corporeal/4, Ethereal/4, Celestial/4), Tongues (Corporeal/6) Skills: Detect Lies/6, Dodge/4, Emote/4, Fighting/3, Knowledge (Etiquette/6), Large Weapon (Sword/6), Savoir-Faire/6, Tactics/3 Attunements: Malakite of the Sword, Seraph of the Sword, Mercurian of the Sword, Purity of Purpose, Divine Silence, Master of the Armies of God, Angel of Etiquette Compared to other Malakim of the Sword, particularly of his rank, Curtis is not an awesome fighter, though he can more than hold his own. It's a mistake to think that he isn't just as dedicated to purging the world of evil as every other Malakite. Curtis just goes about it in a rather more subtle manner than one is used to seeing from his Choir. Laurence approves of Curtis's work, though he does consider it secondary, which is one reason why there aren't that many Angels of Etiquette. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 4 Oct 1997 05:38:48 -0400 From: David Edelstein Subject: IN> The Demon of Sarcasm No, this is not a joke or a satire. I thought it was appropriate, though, and figured I'd contribute something a little more *useful* than what we've seen most recently.... Go ahead, make your wisecracks.... ;) - -------------------------------------------------------- "Oh, you thought you MIGHT be interested in working for me, did you? Praise the Almighty, why just this morning I said to myself, 'We don't have nearly enough presumptuous half-wits around here, wherever will I find more?' And now I am blessed with the presence of a freshly-minted Lilim who's going to show off her talents for me. Well, you don't have skinned knees, I assume you have some OTHER talents?" "Aww, what's the matter, did I huwt youw widdle feewings? Is the poow widdle Wiwim gonna cwy? I'm sorry, perhaps you think I'm the Demon of Giving a Rat's Ass?" "Well, I'm certainly glad you KNOW who I am. Gosh, whatever tipped you off? Oh no, your powers of observation are simply brilliant. Why with perspicacity like that, you'll earn a Word in no time. Yes, I'm sure Lucifer is just aching to hand out the Word of Duuuuh!!!!" "Don't glower, dear, it's unattractive. So do you really think you have a thick enough skin to serve me? More importantly, do you have a sharp enough tongue?" "Hah! Not bad. Needs a little polish, and a dash more venom. But you might have potential. Maybe -- just maybe -- I can use you. You and your tongue. Let's talk about your future working for the Angel of Sarcasm." "Yes, you heard right! Damn straight I'm an angel! And wipe that sarcastic look off your face!" There are all kinds of temptations....lust, greed, gluttony, pride.....all catering to mankind's basest impulses. And one of the most overlooked temptations is the desire to verbally lash out at anyone who annoys you. Tact, etiquette, concern for the feelings of others, or simple self-preservation often holds a caustic tongue in check, but deep inside the most courteous, well-bred person is the desire to rip apart that irritating child who's asked you the same question four times now....the clueless boss who can't find a stapler without help...the moron who drives down the freeway for ten miles with his turn-signal blinking, and then forgets to signal a lane change....the yammering spouse who just Won't! Shut! UP! A sarcastic response gives quick satisfaction and often has the desired effect of silencing irritating people, or at least giving you some measure of gratification when the victim of your retort shows wounded indignation - -- there's nothing like puncturing an overinflated ego. Of course it also provokes fights, intensifies animosities, and generates bad feelings all around, making a rational, polite discussion almost impossible, but doesn't it feel gooooooood to see the look on someone's face when your barb scores a direct hit? Sarcasm has always been a fairly coveted Word among the Servitors of Kobal, Demon Prince of Dark Humor, but the fact is, until recently, it really didn't grant much power. It had cachét, it had name-brand appeal, it had resonance, but it was really just another way of being humorously nasty, and the Demon of Sarcasm was typically just another one of Kobal's favored court jesters, along with the Demons of Ridicule, Irony and Satire. There have been many Demons of Sarcasm, all Servitors of Kobal, usually nominated by the Prince of Dark Humor and approved by Lucifer after a short interview. If you can survive an interview with Lucifer where you have to demonstrate your fitness to hold the Word of Sarcasm, _without_ provoking the Prince of Darkness into lining Haagenti's colon with your hide, you've earned a Word. But smarting off to Lucifer is often more survivable than smarting off to the likes of Baal or Saminga, and if a Prince doesn't take poorly to being mocked, angels are even more humorless. No Demon of Sarcasm has lasted long. Enter Acerbial, the current Demon of Sarcasm (or Angel of Sarcasm as he calls himself....can you guess what Band he belongs to? Gosh, what tipped you off?) Acerbial got his start as just another caustic Habbalite of Dark Humor, whose razor-sharp wit was fueled by an implacable hatred for every living thing. To Acerbial, the world is full of blithering, droolingly stupid idiots, insignificant and small, every last one of them, and the MOST annoying thing, the most IRRITATING thing, what really, really pisses Acerbial off is that THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT VAPID, PATHETIC LOSERS THEY REALLY ARE! He regards it as his personal duty to explain it to them. Everyone must have their flaws brutally exposed, no one must be allowed to hide from the truth of their own worthlessness. He wants you to know that every simpering word that comes out of your mouth is inane drivel, every thought that runs through what passes for a brain in that empty skull of yours is insipid, unoriginal and stupid. AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT! You must not only realize that you are a laughably ignorant little worm, deserving of all the scorn and derision a world forced to put up with you can dump on your waste of a soul, but that's what EVERYONE thinks of you! Face facts, you're nothing, you're a piece of s***, and it's not just him saying that, it's everyone who's ever known you. Acerbial is NOT fun to be around. If you spend more than a minute in his presence and aren't forced to make Will rolls to avoid the impulse to throttle him, he isn't trying. Acerbial wants to punish people for their stupidity and banality. How DARE anyone believe they have something worthwhile to contribute? How dare anyone believe that someone might find them worthy of admiration or respect? As far as he is concerned, every creature in the Symphony should feel guilty just for being, and he is serving God by making sure all His creations suffer for polluting His Symphony with their existence. He wants to tear down undeserved self-esteem and replace it with either insecurity and pain, or mindless defensive rage. He never has a kind word for anyone, and his Servitors quickly become inured to his barbs or else they flee to friendlier superiors. Or they break down and wallow in self-pity, and become verbal punching bags for Acerbial and his more strong-willed servants to abuse. Acerbial's unrivaled malevolence brings a smile to Kobal's lips, but what has elevated this Demon of Sarcasm above any of his predecessors is the way he conceived of his Word as not merely a particular brand of Dark Humor, but an attitude, a worldview, a way of life. Under Acerbial, Sarcasm is not merely delivering snappy answers to stupid questions, but looking at _everything_ through a glass darkly. The world is a bad joke, and the only sensible response is to treat it as one. Take nothing seriously. Respect nobody's feelings, call 'em the way you see 'em, and f*** 'em if they can't take a joke. And he's had Nybbas' help in making that attitude seem attractive and admirable. It started in the 70s....at that time, Acerbial's Role, Melvin Brass, was doing stand-up comedy, characterized by biting satire in which he singled out members of the audience for abuse. He'd won some minor notoriety on the comedy circuit, and published a couple of books; collections of insults and pithy one-liners for all occasions, designed to reduce people to quivering puddles of wounded pride. The Demon Prince of the Media happened to catch Melvin's act in a New York nightclub, and he saw Star Quality. Ironically, Nybbas didn't even know Melvin was a diabolical when he had the comedian signed for a sitcom deal. "The Melvin Brass Show" was panned by critics for being "mean-spirited", "crude", and "a new low in broadcast comedy". Audiences loved it. Melvin's character insulted everyone -- his girlfriend, his boss, his mother -- and got away with it. He got to crush hopes and bruise egos with impunity, and the audience laughed their heads off, viciously. Behind the scenes, Melvin was cutting deals and networking, Hollywood style....Acerbial saw a big opportunity to popularize his Word. Nybbas finally clued in to the fact that he'd brought a Word-bound demon under his wing without even realizing it, but he played it off as if he'd known all along. "The Melvin Brass Show" went off the air after just two seasons, but Acerbial was already helping develop many other shows in a similar vein. In the past two decades, the Demon of Sarcasm has been a shining example of inter-Principality cooperation, helping unleash a wave of irreverent comedies that pushed the envelope of acceptability and good taste, scorned role models and moral values, and gored sacred cows at every opportunity. Melvin Brass, now a major Hollywood producer, has been responsible for some of the worst programming on TV....the sitcoms that are most vapid, insult the audience's intelligence, and hold up the most cherished icons of decency for ridicule. And which score big with a growing generation of jaded couch potatoes. Acerbial has helped make sarcasm a genre in itself. The public loves a comedian who has mastered the art of put-down. He's spreading out, sponsoring talk shows and comedy clubs and films. Wherever there's a comic with a nasty, biting edge, Acerbial is there with a smirk, helping them sign their souls away for a shot at the big time. Hell gets more humans led to their Fate, Nybbas gets more material for his media empire, and Kobal gets to see pop culture turn more edgy and profane every year, with humans laughing until they hold _everything_ in contempt. The Prince of Dark Humor likes Acerbial's work just fine; he has no problems with the Demon of Sarcasm getting cozy with the Prince of the Media. After all, if he ever gets out of line, Kobal is sure he can arrange for Acerbial to have a run-in with Asmodeus, or Lucifer in a bad mood. Acerbial has served the Word of Sarcasm better than any other Servitor, but Kobal can always find another smart-ass. SERVITORS OF SARCASM The Demon of Sarcasm has a fair number of Servitors himself. Most are fellow demons of Dark Humor, but a few are on loan from Nybbas. Any demon of Sarcasm keeps all attunements (and dissonance restrictions) of his Prince, but gains Acerbial's dissonance requirements as well. They also gain his Rites, and the opportunity to buy his one Servitor attunement. Acerbial isn't quite powerful enough yet to grant Band attunements of his own; in the next few years, he may become so, at which point Kobal and Nybbas will both have to decide whether Acerbial's star should continue to rise. Those who benefit the most from serving Acerbial are other Habbalah, and Acerbial prefers them as Servitors; they make up about half his minions. Strangely enough, they don't like sarcastic comments from other demons about "Angels of Sarcasm". DISSONANCE Demons of Sarcasm must be sarcastic.....duh! Their dissonance restriction requires some Gamemaster discretion, since being sarcastic once a day isn't nearly enough, but even Acerbial can't be sarcastic _all_ the time (though he comes pretty close). In general, a demon of Sarcasm must always give a sarcastic response in favor of a straight one if he thinks he can get away with it. If you have reason to believe that being sarcastic will get you killed (or endanger the Status of your Role), you can stifle it....but any Servitor of Acerbial who's curbing his tongue too much isn't being nearly acerbic enough. The GM should award 1 point of dissonance for any day where a demon of Sarcasm hasn't been abrasive enough, and more if he's actually passing up opportunities to take shots at people. (Refraining from sarcasm in order to avoid hurting someone's feelings _always_ generates dissonance.) Demons of Sarcasm are almost always known as jerks, and no one who cares in the slightest for other peoples' feelings will last in Acerbial's service. SERVITOR ATTUNEMENT PUT-DOWN This Servitor attunement is available to any demon of Sarcasm for 10 points. (Acerbial can grant it to others if he wishes.) It gives the demon the ability to know at a glance how to "push someone's buttons". The GM should require the victim to make a Will roll, with the check digit of a failed roll determining how severe his reaction is. Even on a 6, not everyone will become violent -- some people burst into tears rather than losing their temper -- but even a saint can be provoked with this kind of abuse. Note that the demon accomplishes this "button pushing" with witty, sarcastic comments that may appear humorous to an audience....demons of Sarcasm usually use this ability to embarrass and ridicule people in public, often to provoke someone into an inappropriate display of temper and then say "He can't take a joke!" afterwards. Subtract any Anger Discord from the subject's Will roll. Elohim are particularly hard to provoke, and add their Celestial Forces to their Will roll to resist this attunement. _However_, if an Elohite fails his Will roll, he will earn a point of dissonance (and demonstrate a violent emotional response) if the check digit is equal to or greater than 6 minus his current level of dissonance! An angel with Laurence's Vassal Distinction is immune to this power. HABBALAH OF SARCASM Habbalah of Sarcasm are particularly effective at pushing people's buttons - -- they may use the equivalent of the Put-Down attunement, above, as part of their natural resonance, at no cost! (They do get the characteristic-reducing effects, and risk having the "Put-Down" rebound on them, as usual.) RITES * Provoke someone to violence or tears with a sarcastic comment * Encourage someone to use sarcasm when he knows he shouldn't ACERBIAL The Demon of Sarcasm Habbalite Baron of Dark Humor Corporeal Forces -- 3 Strength 6 Agility 6 Ethereal Forces -- 5 Intelligence 12 Precision 8 Celestial Forces -- 6 Will 12 Perception 12 Vessels: Human/3 (Charisma +1), Human/1 (spare vessel) Role: Comedian-Producer/3 (Status 5) (Melvin Brass) Songs: Attraction (Ethereal/4), Charm (Ethereal/4, Celestial/4), Harmony (Corporeal/6), Numinous Corpus (Tongue/3), Possession/3, Tongues (Corporeal/2, Ethereal/3, Celestial/4) Skills: Dodge/5, Emote/4, Fast-Talk/4, Knowledge (Hollywood/5, Comedy/6), Lying/4, Savoir-Faire/3 Attunements: Balseraph of Dark Humor, Habbalite of Dark Humor, Baron of Hysteria, Knight of Influence, Subliminal (both granted by Nybbas), Put-Down, Demon of Sarcasm Acerbial isn't a combat monster, and he avoids situations where someone might express their opinion of him in a physical manner. He's very smart, and even before he hit the big-time, he was pretty good at avoiding repercussions (there's a reason he has a high Dodge skill...). Now that he's well-situated in Nybbas' media empire, he always has some demonic muscle nearby as protection...usually Calabim of the Media, preferably demons who are too stupid to know when they're being insulted. ------------------------------ End of in_nomine-digest V1 #384 ******************************* The material here is (C) 1997 Steve Jackson Games, Incorporated. All rights reserved.