The Songs of Rabbit Physics

By Amanda Kilgore (


These songs allow the performer to take on different aspects of domestic lagomorphs. Observe house rabbits in (in)action for a few days. You?ll understand.

The songs last a number of minutes equal to the check digit times the appropriate Forces.


The Corporeal Song of Rabbit Physics allows the performer?s vessel to ignore inconvenient laws of physics, such as gravity and principles of motion. These can include leaping and turning a corner in midair, standing on tip-claws, and making the skeleton malleable. Watch a rabbit normally 8 inches long suddenly go to 12 or so. Conversely, watch a rabbit normally 14 inches long ball up to 9. (No, really.)

A more warlike rabbit can also turn its skull into a battering ram. Have a 7-pound rabbit attempt to leap away and end up head-butting you in the kidneys. (Really.)


Instant sleep. A rabbit plays hard, then suddenly flops onto her side to play dead and snooze. With no warning. Dead Bunny effect. (Really.) The Song allows the performer to instantly enter a sleep-like state while his/her spirit enters the Marches. The performer can be pulled back from these wanderings by a tummy rub or tickling the (large, fuzzy) feet.


Rabbit telepathy. A pair or herd of rabbits can hear the wishes of the Alpha and rush to serve her, and her humans rush to see to her needs. (You guessed it? Really.) This Song is used to convey the performer?s requests, wishes, orders, etc. to a familiar and willing mind, in a similar fashion to the Celestial Song of Tongues.

So far, no comment has been made about the strong images of produce and face washings that lurk in the background of messages sent with this song.


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