Yaasriel, Seraph Friend of the Quest, Angel of Tabloid Newspapers

By Moe Lane


Corporeal Forces: 3
Strength: 5
Agility: 7
Ethereal Forces: 4
Intelligence: 7
Precision: 9
Celestial Forces: 6
Will: 12
Perception: 12

Suggested Word-Forces: 5

Vessel: human male/1, Charisma +1

Skills: Artistry/2 (writing), Computer Programming/1, Dodge/2, Emote/1, Fast-Talk/3, Fighting/3, Knowledge ('Supernatural' Activities/3, Research/6, Tabloids/4), Move Silently/1, Ranged Weapon/3 (pistol)

Songs: Harmony (Corporeal/2, Ethereal/3), Memory (All/1), Motion (Celestial/1), Shields (Corporeal/2), Sleep (Ethereal/2), Symphony (All/3), Truth (All/2), Truthswearing/3

Attunements: Seraph of Revelations, Elohite of Revelations, Sense of Significance, I Tell You Three Times, Friend of the Quest, Angel of Tabloid Newspapers

Angel of Tabloid Newspapers: Yaasriel can look at an article in any tabloid newspaper and automatically know if a celestial or ethereal was somehow significantly involved in the events described therein.


Yaasriel is amazed that it took him this long to work things out.

After all, when one thinks about it, it all makes perfect sense. The major problem that Servitors of Revelation have is that they cannot keep things secret - yet they must not reveal their True nature to the world. Reconciling these contradictory requirements can lead to massive (and literal) headaches, but for the longest time, there wasn't a third option.

Tabloids have given his organization a nigh-perfect tool. Every week, thousands of people pay hard-earned money to buy 'newspapers' that tell them, in all seriousness, that Elvis is cruising the Midwest dispensing a second youth to his most faithful fans. That Ground Zero in NYC now has a direct link to Heaven, and thus under the secret protection of the Catholic Church. That Bigfoot has apparently decided to begin stuffing polluters in their own illegally dumped barrels. That chocolate has arcane, mystic healing properties to those souls touched by God. That Marilyn Monroe has come back from the dead to hunt demons in Los Angeles. All sorts of ridiculous, bizarre, unbelievable stories can be found there - and while almost no one will admit to believing them, yet the papers still get sold.

Better and better, anything that is True, yet currently unbelievable, stands an excellent chance of ending up in one of these tabloids, right there for any interested researcher to read and investigate. Yaasriel cannot begin to count how many times he's hit pay-dirt simply by going down to the corner and purchasing the latest copy of The Midnight Sun, or one of its competitors. There seems to be quite a few celestials on both sides who think that 'only the Enquirer ran the story' with 'I got away with it clean': Revelations has been having a field day disabusing selected others of that notion.

Best of all ... when the chips are down, and someone desperately needs to break a crucial piece of information about the War across a nation or continent, and regular communication channels are being blocked... well, there's always a tabloid reporter desperately looking for something imaginative to run with. It takes a little practice (and a bit of winnowing until you find someone who will cheerfully just transcribe your words on paper), but that practice pays dividends: when done right, soon everybody with eyes to see will get the message.

In other words, Yaasriel is in his element. He discovered the utility of the tabloids about three decades ago, and has been advocating their use ever since. He had an impressive case file of successes to back up his advocacy, too. The Seraph has uncovered enough Infernal Tethers, secret demons, mad ethereal cults and general nefarious plots to keep a dozen rapid-response squads busy - and all through quietly reading about twenty badly-printed newspapers a week. His rapid promotion and eventual Word were mere formalities.

Naturally, having the Word has changed him, mostly by accelerating his acculturation to the corporeal plane. Seraphim have this problem with lies - indeed, at first the Seraph had to deal with constant migraines and nosebleeds after a research session. But he bore up firmly under the pressure, like the dedicated and committed angel that he is - and he learned to handle the pressure. In the process, he somehow managed to pick up a sense of humor, too. Granted, it's not a particularly sophisticated sense of humor (thanks to the angel's usual reading material), but the amazing thing is that one's there to begin with.

By now, Yaasriel has gotten to the point where he can actually read tabloids without pain. It helps that so much of it is absolutely unbelievable, anyway. For example, here's this title: "St. Peter Trapped in Plaster Image of Himself! Heaven Sends Angel Squad to the Rescue! Epic Fight in South Orange!"

Really. What kind of sick, twisted mind comes up with this stuff?


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