Yaasriel, Seraph Friend of the Quest, Angel of Tabloid Newspapers
By Moe Lane
Corporeal Forces: 3
Ethereal Forces: 4
Celestial Forces: 6
Suggested Word-Forces: 5
Vessel: human male/1, Charisma +1
Skills: Artistry/2 (writing), Computer Programming/1,
Dodge/2, Emote/1, Fast-Talk/3, Fighting/3, Knowledge
('Supernatural' Activities/3, Research/6, Tabloids/4),
Move Silently/1, Ranged Weapon/3 (pistol)
Songs: Harmony (Corporeal/2, Ethereal/3), Memory
(All/1), Motion (Celestial/1), Shields (Corporeal/2),
Sleep (Ethereal/2), Symphony (All/3), Truth (All/2),
Attunements: Seraph of Revelations, Elohite of
Revelations, Sense of Significance, I Tell You Three
Times, Friend of the Quest, Angel of Tabloid
Angel of Tabloid Newspapers: Yaasriel can look at an
article in any tabloid newspaper and automatically
know if a celestial or ethereal was somehow
significantly involved in the events described
- Write an article for the tabloids (note that writing
out something that's false is, of course, dissonant).
Yaasriel is amazed that it took him this long to
work things out.
After all, when one thinks about it, it all makes
perfect sense. The major problem that Servitors of
Revelation have is that they cannot keep things secret
- yet they must not reveal their True nature to the
world. Reconciling these contradictory requirements
can lead to massive (and literal) headaches, but for
the longest time, there wasn't a third option.
Tabloids have given his organization a nigh-perfect
tool. Every week, thousands of people pay hard-earned
money to buy 'newspapers' that tell them, in all
seriousness, that Elvis is cruising the Midwest
dispensing a second youth to his most faithful fans.
That Ground Zero in NYC now has a direct link to
Heaven, and thus under the secret protection of the
Catholic Church. That Bigfoot has apparently decided
to begin stuffing polluters in their own illegally
dumped barrels. That chocolate has arcane, mystic
healing properties to those souls touched by God.
That Marilyn Monroe has come back from the dead to
hunt demons in Los Angeles. All sorts of ridiculous,
bizarre, unbelievable stories can be found there - and
while almost no one will admit to believing them, yet
the papers still get sold.
Better and better, anything that is True, yet
currently unbelievable, stands an excellent chance of
ending up in one of these tabloids, right there for
any interested researcher to read and investigate.
Yaasriel cannot begin to count how many times he's hit
pay-dirt simply by going down to the corner and
purchasing the latest copy of The Midnight Sun, or one
of its competitors. There seems to be quite a few
celestials on both sides who think that 'only the
Enquirer ran the story' with 'I got away with it
clean': Revelations has been having a field day
disabusing selected others of that notion.
Best of all ... when the chips are down, and someone
desperately needs to break a crucial piece of
information about the War across a nation or
continent, and regular communication channels are
being blocked... well, there's always a tabloid
reporter desperately looking for something imaginative
to run with. It takes a little practice (and a bit of
winnowing until you find someone who will cheerfully
just transcribe your words on paper), but that
practice pays dividends: when done right, soon
everybody with eyes to see will get the message.
In other words, Yaasriel is in his element. He
discovered the utility of the tabloids about three
decades ago, and has been advocating their use ever
since. He had an impressive case file of successes to
back up his advocacy, too. The Seraph has uncovered
enough Infernal Tethers, secret demons, mad ethereal
cults and general nefarious plots to keep a dozen
rapid-response squads busy - and all through quietly
reading about twenty badly-printed newspapers a week.
His rapid promotion and eventual Word were mere
Naturally, having the Word has changed him, mostly by
accelerating his acculturation to the corporeal plane.
Seraphim have this problem with lies - indeed, at
first the Seraph had to deal with constant migraines
and nosebleeds after a research session. But he bore
up firmly under the pressure, like the dedicated and
committed angel that he is - and he learned to handle
the pressure. In the process, he somehow managed to
pick up a sense of humor, too. Granted, it's not a
particularly sophisticated sense of humor (thanks to
the angel's usual reading material), but the amazing
thing is that one's there to begin with.
By now, Yaasriel has gotten to the point where he can
actually read tabloids without pain. It helps that so
much of it is absolutely unbelievable, anyway. For
example, here's this title: "St. Peter Trapped in
Plaster Image of Himself! Heaven Sends Angel Squad to
the Rescue! Epic Fight in South Orange!"
Really. What kind of sick, twisted mind comes up
with this stuff?
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