Javan, Impudite Captain of Cannibals, Demon of Grease

By Moe Lane


Corporeal Forces: 3
Strength: 6
Agility: 6
Ethereal Forces: 4
Intelligence: 9
Precision: 7
Celestial Forces: 6
Will: 12
Perception: 12

Word-Forces: 6

Vessel: human male/3, human female/2, both with +1 Charisma

Skills: Artistry/6 (cooking), Dodge/4, Emote/3, Fast-Talk/4, Fighting/4, Knowledge (Recipes/3), Lying/4, Small Weapon/6 (knife), Savoir-Faire/3, Seduction/3

Songs: Charm (Corporeal/3, Ethereal/4, Celestial/5), Ecstasy (Corporeal/2), Harvesting/3, Hunger (Corporeal/1, Ethereal/4, Celestial/1), Laughter (Ethereal/2), Sensation (Corporeal/2), Shields (All/1)

Attunements: Impudite of Gluttony, Consume, Devour, Hair of the Dog that Bit You, Sensitivity, Secretly Replaced, Captain of Cannibals, Demon of Grease

Demon of Grease: Javan may shoot an effectively unlimited amount of grease from out of his fingertips, of whatever taste and/or consistency he desires. Aside from the culinary uses, this can be also used in combat: the grease jet has a Power of 1, Accuracy of +2 and a range of ten yards. Anyone splashed with the grease must make an Agility roll at -2 each turn to retain hold of any items, or to avoid slipping and falling to the ground.

bRites: Encourage the consumption of any food that is at least 20% grease, consume a pound of grease.

It's not every day that one sees a Servitor of Gluttony with an Attunement from Lust, but Javan happened to be at the right place at the right time to make one of Andrealphus' little shindigs a night to remember. It was enough to get the Impudite an Attunement ... but not enough to get him away from Haagenti.

That's the story of Javan's life.

Javan has been trying to Run Away for quite some time now, with a notable lack of success. His quest is hampered, of course, by the fact that he can't seem to be trying to Run Away: that would just bring on the very thing that the Impudite is trying to avoid. There's been more than one Demon of Grease, you see. Indeed, there's been quite a few. Guess where they all ended up?

Javan has been scheming furiously to avoid this gristly fate since about five minutes after he received his Word. Naturally, the optimal course is to find a Prince that could somehow find Grease useful - but of the two obvious choices, Andrealphus has been unresponsive and Javan's smart enough to know that Kobal would just toss him back after the Joke wore thin. There aren't many other suitable candidates - Javan, alas, is a bit of a (read: "a galloping") snob, and shudders to think of having to have his art polluted by working for Saminga and/or Belial. Unfortunately, the list is thus pretty much exhausted.

As a stopgap measure, the Impudite has hit upon the twin strategies of: a, doing such a good job that Haagenti will be reluctant to eat him just yet; and b, finding convenient patsies to distract his Prince whenever that worthy starts looking peckish. This has so far worked, making Javan easily the longest holder of his particular Word. Unfortunately, this has also meant that Javan is regularly rewarded for his efforts - which means that he'll just taste all the better in the end. There's a point of diminishing returns, here, and the Impudite is just starting to see it in the distance.

No, Redemption is not an option. Javan likes being the Demon of Grease. He likes being able to make the talking monkeys chow down on things that they know are bad for them, just because it tastes so good. He does have a certain flair for his job, in marked contrast to most of the sorry trash that preceded him, and Javan is fond of sneering at those pathetic losers.

He just doesn't want to do it from inside Haagenti's stomach.


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