by Simon Hailes (hailes @ senet.com.au)
It's not easy my life, no, keeping one step ahead of the Inquisition and the rest of the Host, the rest of the Host who jeer at me and call me names, they call me weak, they call me perverted, they call me vermin, because I am Outcast, an Outcast Kyriotate.
In Heaven my name was Hethem, I served Zadkiel the Archangel of Protection, and served her well so that eventually she let me go to Earth, to continue her Crusade in the Corporeal Realm, but it was in the Corporeal Real that suppressed grievances and doubts came to the fore, it was here in the Corporeal Realm that I saw the Other Side, heard their stories, and wondered, was what I was doing right?
Some angels are outcast because of accumulations of dissonance, but some, like myself, are Outcast because of singular actions that greatly offend our Superiors. In my case I saved the life of a Soldier of Hell.
As I have told you, I had many reservations about my service to the Host, and after speaking to a couple of demons, especially Tessa, a Captain of Integrity, those doubts were magnified. Why just protect the righteous, why not protect the wicked too? why are the wicked wicked and the righteous righteous? I just couldn't agree with it anymore
But don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near Falling, oh no, I may sympathize with Lucifer's plight but that doesn't mean I agree with it. Free of my Superiors laws I can protect whoever I want, any by virtue of protecting my host and others I am doing what a Kyriotate has to do, I am a true Outcast, neither committed to Heaven or Hell. I am somewhere in between.
The soldier of Hell Caitlin, served Tessa, Asmodeus's Chief of the Game in Chicago, we met and talked, and became friends, she fascinated me, and I was fascinating to her! It was gold, for a time, until I heard through my friends on Heaven side that a Malakite of David was coming to make a hit on Tessa and her Soldier.
I was in a quandary, didn't know what to do, I could warn them, yes, but that would be partial protection at best, I could do nothing, the right thing according to Heaven, but then hate myself because of it. Or I could step in to protect them and get in to serious trouble with Zadkiel and the Inquisition in general.
I decided to protect them, my help was needed and necessary, the Malakite was slain, Tessa and Caitlin lived, and I had a date in Court with the Celestial Tribunal. I don't need to say what happened next, my heart was destroyed and I was kicked out, at first it grated on me, for a while I thought I really had made a mistake and should atone, but finally I got over that, and started reveling in what I realized was a new found freedom.
The sinners and the saints can both rely upon me now, as can other Outcasts, renegades, Ethereals, in fact, I am soon slated to meet an Ethereal deity in the Far Marches, Quetzalcoatl himself, the feathered serpent, he wants me to protect his ally, Xolotl, as he comes to Earth for the first time in a long time.
And it is here I must end this brief account of me. Like I said, it isn't easy being me, at least surviving as me, but I wouldn't trade my present life for anything in the world, because there'll never be another me.
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