This customer feedback card pretends to be from McDonnell-Douglas, but we know better, don't we?
McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase!
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________
Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-19A Stealth _Classified
3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________
4. Serial Number____________________
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
___ Received as Gift/Aid Package
___ Catalog Showroom
___ Sleazy Arms Broker
___ Mail Order
___ Discount Store
___ Government Surplus
___ Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
___ Heard loud noise, looked up
___ Store Display
___ Espionage
___ Recommended by friend/relative/ally
___ Political lobbying by Manufacturer
___ Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
___ Style/Appearance
___ Kickback/Bribe
___ Recommended by salesperson
___ Speed/Maneuverability
___ Comfort/Convenience
___ McDonnell Douglas Reputation
___ Advanced Weapons Systems
___ Price/Value
___ Back-Room Politics
___ Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
___ North America
___ Central/South America
___ Aircraft Carrier
___ Europe
___ Middle East
___ Africa
___ Asia/Far East
___ Misc. Third-World Countries
___ Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
that apply:
___ Communist/Socialist
___ Terrorist
___ Crazed (Islamic)
___ Crazed (Other)
___ Neutral
___ Democratic
___ Dictatorship
___ Corrupt (Latin American)
___ Corrupt (Other)
___ Primitive/Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
___ Cash
___ Suitcases of Cocaine
___ Oil Revenues
___ Deficit Spending
___ Personal Check
___ Credit Card
___ Ransom Money
___ Traveler's Check
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
Homemaker
Sales/Marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle Management
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister/General
Retired
Student
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/Jogging
Propaganda/Disinformation
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Default on Loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black Market/Smuggling
Collectibles/Collections
Watching Sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation/Torture
Household Pets
Crushing Rebellions
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500
