The SubGenius Answers The GURPS Questionnaire

committed 4-92

No, we're not going to tell you what the questions were. It's not relevant. But the answers were:

  1. Mind-searing; like unto bad peyote.

  2. Mind-searing; like unto routine surgery.

  3. Lo, did I go unto the mountain and BOB spake unto me saying; "GURPS stands for Generic Universal Role Playing System, you schmuck" and beat me about the head and neck with rolled up copies of "The Tomb of Horrors" module (with original Erol Otus artwork! Keen!).

  4. Mind-searing; like unto falling off Jessica Hahn during a bad peyote trip.

  5. My age is 12 months, 485 days, 2 hours 42 minutes and 23 nanoseconds. Oops, sorry; 23.0023 nanoseconds, now. I have been gaming since before your oldest continent was young, since before the time of the thunder lizards.

  6. 1) GURPS Senseless Violence
    .5) GURPS XXXenophile.
    72) GURPS GURPS (the roleplaying game about roleplaying game design. Redundantly redundant.)
    01) GURPS Porn. Features stats on Traci Lords, rules for becoming your own father (for GURPS time travel) and a scenario based on "Lemme tell you 'bout Elf chicks" by the famous Orc Bros. And just wait 'til you see the new advantages!
    02) Silly fantasy roleplaying.
    1) GURPS Uberfriends (featuring a section on their archfoes, the Uberfiends).

  7. A complete listing of female roleplaying gamers in my immediate neighborhood, with ratings for their attractiveness and lack of discrimination. (Note this is not technically a GURPS supplement, but it's what I would like). Barring that, I would accept a complete listing of understanding and discreet male roleplayers.

  8. "Bob's" Favorite Comics. Sam and Max. Oh, yeah, and my Physics textbook.

  9. The SubGenius ads on MTV. Either that, or "Lance Link, Secret Chimp".

  10. American Baby, the Midnight Star, and The Stark Fist of Removal. Oh, yeah, and Swimwear Illustrated (Especially their annual Sports issue).

  11. Well, WE is rather a presumptuous statement. I feel it safer to say that YOU (singular or plural ) know the subject while WE (singular) can only surmise what you are trying to say. Of course, we (plural, that is , you and I (plural)) must remember the words of Socrates, who said "I would rather KNOW one thing than be King of Persia". Of course, Persia has been Iran since 19--, so I guess you (sing. or plural) have no choice in the matter. Me (third person subjunctive), I'd rather KNOW all about being King of Persia. Preferably through experience. In any case, I would like books in the 3.5 to 4.5 trillion dollar range.

  12. What I and 175 of my closest friends choose to do in the privacy of my pit is none of your goddamn business.

  13. GM level.

  14. Each issue would include a real, live girl.

  15. ...Maybe.

  16. The Game of the SubGenius, by the Irreverend Chris Bridges. More fun than Ginger Lynn's underwear!

  17. Yum, Yum, Good Eats.

  18. I believe errata should be issued for each and every GURPS product, up to and including books, buttons, advertising copy, paychecks, letterheads, legal notices to cease and desist, and this questionaire.

  19. I believe that GURPS books should be written on erasable bond so that mistakes may be handled at a local level.

  20. no, yes, (SECRET NOFORN)

  21. FGG (if you are unfamiliar with this hallowed group, please inquire at the Omnidirectional Pantheon, home of the Game of the SubGenius, written by Chris Bridges)

  22. I didn't buy it, I was forced to confiscate it and all computer records of it from the Secret Service in the interests of National Security.

  23. Only in drive-bys.

  24. Why didn't you end this on question 23? Some Illuminati you are. Now gimme my free Roleplayer.
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