Toon
Springfield, U.S.A.
by Chris Talbot
Welcome to Springfield, the home town of the Simpson family of television fame. This is a cartoon series (or for those of you who don't speak Toonese, a campaign setting) for Steve Jackson Games' Toon, created by the ever-funny Greg Costikyan.
For those of you who don't play Toon, why the HELL not? It's an amazingly silly roleplaying game where anything can happen and nobody dies. Shame on you for not playing Toon. Anyway, if you don't play Toon, you may find this mildly amusing. This cartoon series is based in the town of Springfield. You know, where those wacky Simpsons live. Well, follow along and act first, think second.
It is a good idea to have the following books: Toon, Toon Ace Catalog. The Tooniversal Tour Guide and/or Toon Tales could also come in handy but they're not necessary.
Without further ado, once again, welcome to Springfield.
SPRINGFIELD, U.S.A.
Springfield, where the hell is it? There are dozens of theories on that. Whatever the case, we all know that it has to be in the northern United States somewhere. Maybe New York.
This section details some of the new rules that must be added to Toon to make the series more like the television show.
First, you are allowed to swear, but only mildly. The following words are acceptable: damn, bitch, bastard, ass, doh.
Second, there is death but it is very, very, very difficult to attain. For instance, Bleeding Gums Murphy died in the television show and many other deaths are mentioned. Then again, Homer takes a beating every episode and always bounces back. So, for the player characters, death is probably impossible.
The rules of death can be summed up simply. Just because you are dead does not mean you can't be brought back in later episodes (adventures, for those who don't speak Toonese). Think afterlife, ghosts, spirits, the Big Bowling Alley in the sky.
To make things simple, all the characters should be members of a single family or close friends. Or total enemies, depending on the case.
And, finally, play your characters with all the stereotypes of that particle type of character. Give your character a personality. Memorable quotes will make a detailed and more interesting personality. But, really, you get the idea.
THE ANYTOWN MAP
If you don't have the Toon Ace Catalog, get it or design
your own map because you'll need one for this section. The
following is a list of the buildings in Springfield and their
descriptions:
- Springfield police station. Guess who works here?
- Springfield town hall. Once in awhile, Diamond Joe Quimby will make an appearance in his role as mayor.
- Springfield fire department. Most places will burn down before the fire department arrives.
- Moe's Tavern. This is the beer-infested palace for all of those degenerates and drunks to hang out, swill Duff beer, and spend their hard-earned cash. Regular include Homer and Barney Gumble.
- Springfield Mall. This mall has a supermarket, department store, and most other types of stores out there.
- The park. The statue of Jebediah Springfield, the founder of the town is here.
- Springfield's radio station. With all the people watching television, who cares about the radio?
- Springfield's television station. Kent Brockman's news show and Krusty the Clown's show are both filmed and broadcast from here.
- Springfield housing community. The Simpsons live at 742 Evergreen Terrace so, unless you're a Simpson, you can't live there.
- Kwik-E-Mart. Remember that loveable Apu? This is the town's convenience store. On another note, it also has the highest crime rate of the entire town.
- The Springfield Revolving Restaurant. This is the infamous restaurant which gets a lot of its food back because of the dizzying effects of the constant turning.
- Springfield Library or the Springfield Book Depository, depending on what you want to call it. Look out for the Occult Section with a book of necromantic spells.
- Medical centre. Such doctors as Hibbard practice medicine here.
- Springfield High School. I suppose they have to have one somewhere in the town.
- First National Springfield Bank.
- Used car lot. Some slimy salesman works here.
- Springfield Elementary School. 'Nuff said.
- Springfield Retirement Home. It's very broken down and cheap-looking so, of course, this is where the old and useless citizens of Springfield are stored by their loved ones.
- Krustyland, the Krustiest place on Earth. This is a cheap amusement park owned by Krusty the Clown. It is an easy way to attract kids and their parents and their parents' money. Occasionally, Krusty actually goes there.
- The Springfield Airport. This is where planes land and take-off.
- Springfield auditorium. When there are important events, they are held here.
- The Springfield water supply. Unfortunately, the place that serves Springfield's water needs is also right beside the nuclear power plant. The water that goes in is somewhat radioactive with Blinky the fish and other mutant animals swimming around in it.
- The haunted house. This is actually where Principal Skinner and his mother live.
- The Burns estate. This is the fenced-in estate of Montgomery Burns. Beware of the vicious, snarling dogs that guard it.
- The Burns nuclear power plant. Sorry, this is not an Ace Industries factory like in most other worlds. This is the nuclear power plant that belongs to Montgomery Burns. It is a very dangerous place to be unless you don't mind glowing in the dark or becoming a mutant.
- Springfield stadium. The hockey arena is here along with other sports-related fields/stadiums.
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