Psycho Toon – After The Pie Holocaust
By Theslin Wanders-through-Bramble
Welcome to the world of Psychos!
Following the complete and total collapse of civilization after the Thermonuclear Cream Pie strikes of 1996, the last survivors – mostly cockroaches – struggled to rebuild the world they once knew. Oddly enough, establishing communication between the scattered creatures of Post-Pie earth was no problem – the strange green fallout from the nuclear pies had given every living animal Astounding Mental Powers! The trick, of course, was to get the survivors to use these powers for the reconstruction of the Golden Days of Old. As there were survivors in places besides Old (a body of water in Canada), this would prove to be difficult, amazing mental powers or no.
There isn't very much beauty in the Post-Pie world. Just about everyone is scruffy, beat-up and dirty – many wear eye-patches and are missing ears. Some people are mutants – they might have extra ears! That's just the way it is. People dress in worn-out clothes – survival takes precedence over fashion. The only people who can afford to look good are the Barons, and there aren't many of them. Anyway, Barons have notoriously bad taste in clothes.
Okay, so everyone's a psycho. Psycho – shortened from Psychotically Endowed Individual by someone who wasn't too good at shortening – represent the bulk of Post-Pie characters. They have Astounding Mental Powers – psychos are Just Folks in the Psychos! setting.
Irvings – a contraction of Psychotically Disabled (again, it's obvious that some people just can't shorten!) – are rare people. They were underground when the Pies Came Down, and weren't affected by the strange green fallout that gave the rest of the world Psychosis. No psycho really likes the Irvings, so they aren't invited to many parties. Any Psychotically Aware character can tell an Irving when he sees one. Irvings can't be Psychotically Attacked, 'cause they're, like, immune.
Barons are usually very psychotic. They have to be – Barons have alot of people to control, places to rule, you know how it is. Barons are usually cruel, tyrannic rulers. They also tend to be fat, ugly creatures with some unpleasant mutations (and bad breath). A Baron will never let a character live after they've threatened his power. There aren't more than fifteen or twenty Barons – they spend as much time bumping each other off as they spend on removing lower-profile threats.
These are the degenerate animals who always seem to attack heroes when they are least expected. Not long after The Pies, many isolated groups of critters decided that they were just as happy without civilization, thank you very much. They'll lie in wait, just beside the roads to tackle truckers and mug passing bands of characters. It's easy to recognize mutants – years of living outside in the strange green fallout has radically changed their bodies. Mutants always have really weird haircuts, are often totally the wrong color, and sometimes have nasty cuts, sores, and misplaced body parts. When they bother with dressing, they prefer Creamy Peppercorn Ranch. Ha ha. Really, they don't wear much clothing, are covered with dirt and grunge, and they smell pretty bad.
What is there to truck? Why are there so many truckers? Who knows? Truckers always seem to be inexplicably going down highways, crossing form city to city, occasionally stopping for tea at the Baron's house. No-one knows why they do this – there's very little commerce and industry in the pie-blasted world of Psycho!, but they drive, night and day, without any real reason to do so. Maybe someday the secret of the Truckers will be discovered.
These annoying people wear black with silver gloves, top hats and tap shoes. These articles are designed to highten their psychotic abilities, but have no noticable effect, except that a Thought Patroller cannot use his psychosis without them. The Thought Patrol are a self-employed, self-styled elite group of troops who insist on everyone keeping their minds to themselves. Thought Patrollers will never stand for anyone practicing mind-to-mind combat, particularly if their own powers aren't involved in the dispute. Thought Patrollers are very keen on filling out forms, and will always take time out of any squabble to double-check their paperwork. THEN they'll mindfry their opponents.
Psychotic Energy Units
Psychotic Energy Units are used in combat only. The number of energy units posessed by any one character is (Smarts score+Chutzpah score+5). No character can have less than 0 psychotic energy points, while Irvings will never have more. More about these points in the NEW SHTICKS section.
A Zonked character is one who has overextended himself psychotically or is suffering from some unpleasant psychotic attack. Zonked characters can't do anything more than sit like vegetables, and the only thing you can do for them is to wipe the drool off of their cumulative chins.
Many shticks from Supertoon are found in the desolate lands of Psychos! So far, Animal Control, Animate, Animate Plants, Confuse, Darkness, Density Control, Drain, Flying, Teleportation, Force Field, Gravity Control, Illusion, Light, Magnetism, Mental attack and Screen, Mind control, Mindwarp, Cosmic Shift, Alien Empathy, Mind Reading, Radar Sense, Plant Growth, Silence, Telekinesis and Telepathy have been sighted. Mutants often have stranger abilities – Bouncing, Body Of..., Clinging, Chameleon, and many other strange body powers have popped up. Multiple Forms, Stretching and Toughness appear to be Mutant favorites.
A psychotic character can buy as many psychotic shticks as he wants. Bouncing, Clinging and the like are not considered psycho shticks, while the shticks listed above – from Animal Control to Telepathy – are most certainly available as psychotic shticks. Characters with enough Plot Points can use those to acquire new psycho shticks, exactly as if they were skill points (you remember – the thirty points your character started out with?). Characters should always be able to learn new secrets by going to wise old psychotic masters...
This shtick is available, free of charge, to any non-Irving characters. It grants its owner a large number low-power shticks. A character with Psychosis can use any of the following shticks:
Telekinesis (with a shtick level of 2) Telepathy (with a shtick level of 3) Mental Screen (with a shtick level of 4) Mind Control (with a shtick level of 2) Meditation (with a shtick level of 2)
The Psychosis shtick package can never be improved. All of the shticks that come with it are held to their abysmally low level. The character may choose to buy any of these shticks for their full cost, and can improve upon those as he sees fit.
MindBlast (6 pts.)
This shtick really packs a punch! Anyone using Mindblast needs to concentrate for a whole turn – the turn after, he can Boggle any single character – After the boggle that character will be totally confused – unable to do anything but walk around in a daze – for 1 die of turns. Irvings are immune to this shtick.
Link (3 pts.)
With this shtick, a psychotic character can lend his Mergs to another character. The two need to touch – and then the Linking character can give over as many of his Mergs as he sees fit.
Psychotic Exploration (4 pts.)
This dangerous shtick puts its user into the mind of another character, where they can futz around as they choose. If the victim makes a successful See/Hear/Smell roll, he will know about the explorer's presence, and can REALLY give him trouble! Inside the character's mind, the explorer must make a shtick roll every time he tries to do something horrible to his victim. If the victim knows about the explorer, he can do almost anything to his attacker – throw boulders at him, create big pits, drip acid from waterfalls and dissolve the poor schlep, or do any number of other hostile things (one die of damage per attempt on the explorer's life).
The inside of a character's mind always looks kind of like a real landscape – one that would seem really nice to that character. Areas that relate to memory storage might feature data terminals or dusty libraries, and if a Psychotic Explorer wishes to find some old memories, these are the places he must seek out. Entering a character's mind is identical to entering Cyberspace in the ToonPunk 2012 1/2 setting – the explorer's body is left vulnerable until he returns to his own body. If a character is killed while out of his mind, he will become Zonked for 1 die of turns. Irvings are immune to this shtick.
Detect Psychosis (3 pts.)
This shtick is very, very helpful for your typical paranoid Baron. With it, a character gets a little mental alarm that goes off if anyone uses psychotic powers within 100' – assuming the detector makes his shtick roll. If he fails his roll, he might notice the NEXT use of psychotics nearby, but he will completely miss that one spark of power. And if that one power was a Mindblast...
Power House (8 pts.)
Handy, dandy power insurance for any mind-to-mind fighter! With this power, he can build up energy for use at a later time. To use Power House, the character must sit still and concentrate. The character must make one shtick roll every turn – for each successful roll, he has stored one little point of energy (His maximum energy storage is equal to his shtick score). For each failed shtick roll, he looses an energy point. When he is finished building up energy, he must make one last shtick roll – if he fails that one, he looses all of his stored energy points. He will also loose all his stored energy if some rude, insensitive schnook comes up to him and bonks, Boggles or disturbs him in any way.
Each energy point represents one single shtick roll that the character will automatically succeed in. Once the character has energy in storage, he can choose not to make shtick rolls for any psychotic power (I.e., any powers listed as a New Shtick, or any of the ones listed in the really long second sentence in the paragraph marked "New Shticks.") If the character is using stored energy points in Psychotic Fighting, he cannot fail his roll, but he still must roll to find out how much "whammy" was in his attack – if he goes over his shtick score, he can roll again.
Psychotic Fighting (or "Mind Fu" – 6 pts.)
If you REALLY want to have a good time with your psychosis, you've gotta learn to use it to make other people Fall Down! Every psycho has a certain number of Psychosis Units (or "Mergs" – who is the guy that makes up all of these acronyms?) which show how much "psychotic damage" he can stand. In a fight in which both psychos are using Mind Fu, the fighters must each make a Psychotic Fighting shtick roll – the person who successfully makes his roll with the higher number wins, and the other guy looses one of his Mergs. Using Psychotic Fighting can never drop a person to below 0 Mergs. Using the Mind Fu shtick doesn't drain Mergs.
Note: In the Psycho! setting, many shticks have been altered or are worthless. weird Science suffers one of the biggest handicaps – with an almost total lack of metal, a Scientist is going to be at a loss to create any scientific items. The Bag of Many Things looses its ability to create metallic items. The Stunt Driving shtick becomes a very powerful tool – a character with this ability can still use it to its full effect, even when driving an eighteen-wheel Truck! The Dungeons & Toons spells Armor, Create Gizmo and Piano From the Sky will never work in Psycho! Weird Weaponry (A Masters of Toon Fu shtick) becomes more useful than ever in creating every-day armaments. Fancy Shooting (from the Way-Out West) becomes quite costly, given the price of gunpowder. No shtick undergoes as powerful a change as Wild Imagination – because of the nature of psychotic minds, Wild Imagination functions as a powerful Cosmic Shift, without the restrictions usually associated with that shtick! Irvings are, of course, immune to these effects.
There are almost no high-tech items in the world After the Pies. Most of civilization's luxury items – pocket blenders, fingernail polish and Cheese Spread – vanished under tons of radioactive cream filling. Many items are primitive, and metal items are very, very, very rare. Except for trucks.
For reasons unknown to Man or Rabbit, Trucks always patrol the endless stretches of road. Some of them carry supplies to distant towns, others apparently are out because their owners enjoy the drive. Trucks are frequent targets for mutant raiders and psycho hitchhikers.
The only form of motorized transportation, besides trucks. motorcycles will be really beat up, with rust and dents, or really new, with bright red paints and decals of various venemous animals (Snakes, spiders and lawyers). Gangs of mutant bikers often pursue trucks for great lengths.
Hordes of mutants roam the plains, sacking cities and ambushing truckers. How can a player deal with a pack of sixty or seventy mutants? Will he join them?
Following the collapse of the World As We Know It, steel became the world-wide currency. For some reason, a Bag of Many Things can never create a metal item, so the value of a crowbar has not suffered the effects of inflation.
Spears, swords made of obsidian, spiked clubes, and the occasional bicycle chain make up a typical Post-Pie arsenal. Guns and bullets are really valuable commodities – you could easily trade one to a local chieftain or Trucker for any number of sundry goods. Gunpowder is an entertaining substance, in and of itself.
Barons usually have all sorts of fun toys – automatic rifles, grenades, and Salad Shooters, just to name a few. Nothing is beyond the reach of these tycoons. If you want to steal a few weapons (the kind you don't have to carve out of rock), go to a Baron's house!
Places To Go
Most parts of the country in Psycho! look about the same – twisted trees, blasted landscape, and the occasional roadsign. Some areas warrent specific mention...
Vast areas of desolate waste, even more barren than the regular areas. Nothing can live here for long, but characters in the Desert will often find towns straight out of the Way-Out West which have somehow managed to survive the Thermonuclear Pies. Is it a real town? A ghost town? A mirage?
The best possible place to go for free weaponry. A Baron will often hire a character, just for grins, and then try to feed him to a pet three-headed alligator, but during the time between hiring and supper, a crafty psycho can often lay his hands on all sorts of fun stuff.
Barons' Estates often have lush gardens with colorful mutant plants. Barons will occasionally keep animals as well – the more eccentric Barons like to scrounge up weird, horrifying mutant beasts for their private zoos. Would-be thieves should stay alert for these dangers.
These areas are actually green! True, the trees tend to drool on people who walk past, but they seem friendly enough. Strange hermits, possibly deranged after years of exposure to Pie Fallout, might live in a forest – crowds of mutants will undoubtably inhabit these verdant areas.
Some mutants live in caves, while other tribes of the creatures live in nomadic villages ("Okay, Bunkie, don't forget your sleeping bag!"). Some mutants are just fun-loving individuals who like dressing in dirty loincloths and basking in irradiated air. Others – unfortunately, the more common sort – are nasty, and will rob anyone who sets foot anywhere near their heavily booby-trapped camps. One crowd of half-horse, half-squid mutants might not have the same morals as the next crowd of half-horse, half-squid mutants, so when a tribe of mutants invites the characters over for dinner, always check out the menu beforehand.
Roads seem to be the centerpiece of any really intense Psycho! campaign. A quest to protect a fleet of Truckers from hordes of mutants or bikers can be a long-running adventure. Just getting a ride with a non-maniacal Trucker is a sort of adventure, in its own right.
Found deep in forests or high in mountains, these are the places in which the Irvings hid themselves when the Pies fell. Caverns are always inhabited by Irvings, who live in peaceful bliss with others of their own kind. Naturally, when an Irving settlement is found out, they will be quite upset and will fight back. Irvings often have access to equipment from the Pre-Pie eras...
Things To Do
Save the Baron! One of the wealthy Barons is going to be attacked by a tribe of mutants five thousand strong! "Well," you think, "Let him rot." But when he offers to pay you for your trouble, the offer's a little too tempting to pass up.
Back to Nature Join the Mutants! The characters decide that yes, civilization is a bit of a bummer, so they trek out to the local forest to sign on with the mutants. Will they accept the characters? What if the characters offered to join with one of the more Cannibalistic tribes? And most importantly...what happens when the characters start showing signs of the Pie Fallout themselves?
Protect the Fleet! Twelve Truckers are heading out on a journey across the continent, and they need brave characters to protect them against mutants and bikers. Now, if the characters can only remember which side they're on...Mad Matt
Mad Matt is a tall, muscular wolverine. He hires himself out as a mercenary, but his short temper frequently ends his relationships with his employers before they really begin. Matt has thick, brown-black fur with a stripe of dark and light grey down his back. He only wears green fatigue pants (which hides him very well against the pink desert sand) and a bright red bandana, worn as a headband. Matt has a gun that can hold ten-bullet cartridges – his pride and joy. His Back Pockets will always have four extra cartridges and all the necessary materials for cleaning his baby.
Beliefs & Goals: Growl. Bare teeth. Try and be Mr. Congeniality for my bosses. Sweat whenever possible – damp wolverine fur is a great conversation-starter. Never pass up a chance to save some poor damsel in distress (no matter how many arms she has!)
Hit Points: 16 Speed: 6 Mergs: None – Matt is an Irving. Muscle: 6 Break Down Door: 8 Climb: 8 Fight: 9 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 9 Throw: 8 Zip: 5 Dodge: 7 Drive Vehicle: 8 Fire Gun: 10 Jump: 8 Ride: 7 Run: 7 Swim: 5 Smarts: 3 Hide/Spot Hidden: 3 Identify Dangerous Thing: 6 Read: 3 Resist Fast-Talk: 3 See/Hear/Smell: 6 Set/Disarm Traps: 7 Track/Cover Tracks: 5 Chutzpah: 1 Sneak: 7 All other Chutzpah Skills: 1 Shticks: Incredible Luck: 8 Toughness Vs. Physical: 8Baron Vonne Blotmo Cannon
The Baron is a truly lovely person – he's a gigantic, bloated rat, 7' high and 5' wide whos fur is falling out in patches. This is probably a dietetic problem, as Cannon eats constantly – his favorite foods are chocolate, cheese, and Artificial Drink Sweeteners. When he can actually reach his Back Pockets, they contain various sugar substitutes, a gun, and a radio that he can use to call his personal bodyguards (well-armed, highly trained mice).
Beliefs & Goals: Baron Vonne Blotmo Cannon exists to serve himself. He will always try to weasel out of a fight, bribing any attackers. The Baron is a fanatic about finding his favorite foods – most Truckers know this, and bring massive quantities of these substances to the lands around Blotmo Manor. Blotmo continually talks about loosing weight, and is always on some diet program or another.
Hit Points: 12 Speed: 2 Mergs: 17 Muscle: 2 Break Down Door: 2 Climb: 1 Fight: 4 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 4 Throw: 3 Zip: 1 Dodge: 1 Drive Vehicle: 5 Fire Gun: 8 Jump: 1 Ride: 5 (Oh, the poor horses...) Run: 1 Swim: 3 Smarts: 6 Hide/Spot Hidden: 7 Identify Dangerous Thing: 8 Read: 7 Resist Fast-Talk: 8 See/Hear/Smell: 9 Set/Disarm Trap: 6 Track/Cover Tracks: 5 Chutzpah: 6 Fast-Talk: 8 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 8 Sleight of Hand: 6 Sneak: 2 Shticks: Psychosis Force Field: 7 Detect Psychosis: 6 Power House: 9 Psychotic Fighting: 6 Whammy: 8 MindBroil: 8 Psychotic Eggbeater: 9Redbriar Tornear
Redbriar is the leader of the Furry Road Nuisances – a large tribe of mutants who make things difficult for Truckers. He is a tall, slim, well-built young fox who glows in the dark and has odd blue markings all over his red pelt. Yes, Redbriar's left ear is badly torn – he claims it was damaged during a horrible battle with a mutant elephant-bear. Redbriar lost that particular fight "But," he says, "You should see the bear!"
Redbriar rarely wears anything more than a loincloth and his face paints, unless he is wearing his "ceremonial garb" – a three-piece tuxedo. He carries a flint spear, bow and arrows, and a large amount of herbal tea. He and all members of his tribe carry little bottles of poison for their arrows – a horrible toxin that boggles anyone who gets it in their bloodstream.
Beliefs & Goals: Always act cool for company. Lead the tribe into Glorious Battle against the Truckers of the world. Try to impress any pretty ladies I find running loose.
Redbriar is a strong leader, but will never stay at home during a battle – he prefers to lead the charge himself! He is just a little sensitive about his ear.
Hit Points: 10 Speed: 6 Mergs: 13 Muscle: 4 Break Down Door: 6 Climb: 7 Fight: 8 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 5 Throw: 6 Zip: 5 Dodge: 9 Drive Vehicle: 3 Fire Gun: 8 Jump: 7 Ride: 8 Run: 6 Swim: 5 Smarts: 4 Hide/Spot Hidden: 7 Identify Dangerous Object: 7 Read: 4 Resist Fast-Talk: 5 See/Hear/Smell: 7 Set/Disarm Traps: 7 Track/Cover Tracks: 9 Chutzpah: 4 Fast-Talk: 4 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 5 Sleight of Hand: 6 Sneak: 8 Shticks: Psychosis Power House: 8 Psychotic Fighting: 7 Detect Psychosis: 6 Psychotic Eggbeater: 7Iyatolla Kopenhaggan
Iyatolla is the current head of the Psychotic Trucker's Union of the Post-Pie Planet. The name "Iyatolla" strikes fear into the hearts of Barons everywhere. Even tribes of mutants will run when they see her coming. Iyatolla is a large woman – she carries an amount of bulk that would normally be associated with a character of the rhinocerous persuasion, but with the grace of a tiger. As humans go, she's fat, but just about perfect for her job as the Trucker Boss. Iyatolla never developed her psychotic powers – she spent more time lifting heavy crates with her arms than with her mind.
Iyatolla always carries her Tool Kit, a large crate of strange, foamy beverages, and some weaponry she bought from mutants – she has almost every wierd weapon found in the Toon Fu campaign setting.
Beliefs & Goals: Never, never trust a Baron. They'll cheat you every time. Never, never trust a mutant, particularly if he's dragging a large wooden horse behind him. Always trust truckers. Irvings are okay, I guess, if they've got drinks. Make a point to cheat Barons whenever possible. Try and fast-talk people into buying drinks.
Hit Points: 20 Speed: 7 Mergs: 11 Muscle: 5 (All Muscle Skills: 6) Zip: 6 Dodge: 7 Drive Vehicle: 9 Fire Gun: 6 Jump: 6 Ride: 6 Run: 7 Swim: 6 Smarts: 4 Hide/Spot Hidden: 4 Identify Dangerous Thing: 5 Read: 8 Resist Fast-Talk: 8 See/Hear/Smell: 6 Set/Disarm Traps: 4 Track/Cover Tracks: 4 Chutzpah: 2 Fast-Talk: 6 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 6 Sleight of Hand: 2 Sneak: 2 Shticks: Psychosis Incredible Strength: 7 Tool Kit of Many Things: 5Any Given Thought Patroller
Any species. Any hight, width, physical stature. Always wears black, a top hat, silver gloves and tap shoes. It's impossible to sneak in tap shoes, but that's okay.
Beliefs & Goals: No-one Shall Use Psychotic Abilities Without Filling Out The Proper Forms!!!
Hit Points: 9 Speed: 4 Mergs: 14 Muscle: 4 Break Down Door: 7 Climb: 4 Fight: 6 Pick Up Heavy Thing: 4 Throw: 5 Zip: 3 Fire Gun: 8 (All other Zip Skills: 3) Smarts: 6 Hide/Spot Hidden: 8 Identify Dangerous Thing: 7 Read: 6 Resist Fast-Talk: 5 See/Hear/Smell: 6 Set/Disarm Traps: 6 Track/Cover Tracks: 8 Chutzpah: 3 Fast-Talk: 3 Pass/Detect Shoddy Goods: 3 Sleight of Hand: 3 Sneak: 8 Shticks: Psychosis Telepathy: 8 Hypnosis: 8 Teleport: 3 Psychotic Fighting: 8 Whammy: 6 Mental Scissors: 8 Psychotic Eggbeater: 7
Random Mutation Chart
11) Antlers 12) Oddly colored skin 13) Frog-flipper feet 14) Extra arms 15) Extra legs 16) Extra eyes 21) Antennae 22) A big nose 23) No face 24) Really strange eyes 25) Fur 26) Scales 31) Feathers 32) A long, wide tail 33) A body combined with that of another animal 34) Long, pointy ears 35) Glow-in-the-dark skin 36) Odd markings on his body 41) Mange or another nasty disease 42) A light bulb or banana instead of a nose 43) Really, really, REALLY bad taste in clothes 44) Bug eyes 45) An extra head 46) Clown-size feet 51) No hair/scales/feathers/fur (A bald alligator?) 52) Claws 53) A fern growing out of its head 54) Everything he's supposed to, just not in the correct order 55) Long arms and legs 56) Very long, sharp teeth (As in a saber-tooth toaster) 61) An unfortunate case of over-eating 62) Horribly cute eyes 63) A strange hair-cut 64) A high-pitched, squeaky voice 65) Roll twice 66) Pick a random power from the SuperToon powers