B.P. - The 2049 AADA World Dueling Championships have attracted duelists from all around the globe. The first round brought out high speeds and a battle of big guns.
The second round saw things really starting to heat up, as incendiary rounds were tossed about, and a number of competitors found themselves wishing for a fire extinguisher
The second round also had some spectacular chases, including this one where Michael Garrity learns that too much speed can override the forces of gravity.
All this and more, just to see who will be going home with each of these trophies. It's time for the 2049 American Autodueling Association World Dueling Championships Final Round!
B.P. - Welcome Dueling fans to Pikeville, Kentucky! I'm B.P. Hammer, along with Ted Downs, and Benny Pearson.
Benny - And it's a great day here at the Mud Bowl Arena, folks. We had some rain yesterday that really saturated the mud, but the sun has come out today and dried up the hillsides for the fans, yet the arena still looks nice and sloppy.
B.P. - Benny, why don't you tells the fans a little about the Mud Bowl.
Benny - Sure, B.P. The Mud Bowl is located back in the Kentucky foothills, in Pike County Kentucky. Four large hills all come together, meeting at a man made pit in the center. The duelists race down these slopes, right through the cheering fans, sometimes at speeds of over 100 miles per hour, before they vault into 320'x320' pit, filled 2'deep with mud. The leap into the pit is about a 10 foot drop, so once the duelists are in the arena, there is no way out until someone drops a ramp or a ladder to get you out. In the center of the arena is a 40'x40' concrete platform that rises just above the surface of the mud. In the center of that platform is a six-pack of a cool malt beverage. Whoever is able to get that six-pack into their pickup, will be the winner of the event, and the 2049 AADA World Dueling Champion.
B.P. - What happens if someone accidentally destroys the six-pack?
Benny - Well B.P., fans here don't like to see their favorite refreshment wasted, so if anyone busts the six-pack, 25 bonus points will go to the duelist who eliminates the offender. At 25 points rather than the normal 5 points for eliminating a duelist, breaking that six pack makes you an attractive target. Once that target has been taken out, all the vehicles are towed out of the arena, a new six-pack is placed, and vehicles re-enter like they did at the start of the duel.
B.P. - The points are really important too, because that's how 2nd and 3rd places will be determined.
Well, we're about ready to start, but there seems to be some sort of a delay. Let's go down to the pits with Junior Johnson and see what's happening down there.
Junior - B.P., it seems as if the three finalists from NOVA have all shown up, but there is no sign of the other four duelists. Let's go over to Bobby Bigguns who is standing by with Norman McMullen, the winner of the Semi-Final Round.
Bobby - Norman, you fared pretty well in the Semi-finals. Every time you got close to someone, they blew up or rolled. Do you expect that sort of luck today?
Norman - I don't what to expect. In the First round I blew up. In the Second round I felt like the harbinger of Death. We'll just have to wait and see.
Bobby - I just got word that Macy Waltrip is with the 2049 AADA World Dueling Championship Head Referee.
Macy - Thanks, Bobby. I'm standing here with this year's AADA World Racing Champion, and the Head Referee of the World Dueling Championships, MJ Daniels. It's a pleasure to meet you MJ.
MJ - Thanks, Macy. It's great to be here today, and to have Ambush Autoworks and Buddwiser helping us out with this tournament. We have waited for the other competitors to show, but it looks like they got lost in these back woods. I'm going to have to give it the o.k. to begin.
B.P. - There you have it. The AADA World Dueling Championships will begin after these commercial messages.
< Commercial Break >
B.P. - We're back at the Mud Bowl Arena, the site of this year's World Dueling Championship. This year's field consists of just three competitors, as the rest have failed to show. For more we go down to Junior Johnson in the pits.
Junior - The trucks are warming up down here. Two of our competitors have chosen to go with gas engines, and one sits quietly while his electric power plant warms up. Bobby has made it over to Michael Garrity's pit, the only driver to choose the electric power plant.
Bobby - Michael, two feet of mud, and an electric power plant. Do you think you will have enough speed to make it through the mud?
Michael - Bobby, with that sea of mud down there, speed is all-important. The same can be said for losing it.
Bobby - They're giving us the 15-second warning. Good Luck!
Michael - Once more unto the breach, dear friends once more, or close the wall up with our English dead!
Bobby - Quoting from Shakespeare, That's NOVA duelist Michael Garrity. Back up to you B.P.
B.P. - Three pickups, all with off-road suspensions and tires, all three sporting large-bore weapons out the front. Norman McMullan's machine is also sporting a dropped weapon out the back. And here they come!
Benny - Don Jacques is tearing down the side of the mountain; our speed telemetry shows him at 100 miles per hour! He leaps into the pit... look at that airtime!
B.P. - All three hit the mud and we are underway. Don comes off the east slope, Norman out of the north, and Garrity enters from the south. They seem to be taking up a counter clockwise spiral, and lookout, it looks like they are all heading right toward the center platform.
Benny - The guns are online! Norman takes a big hit from Don's anti-tank gun.
Macy - Yep, that's an ATG all right, and it's loaded with High-Explosive Anti-Tank ammunition. Let's hope that Norman is built stronger than a tank.
Junior - That might not be necessary, Macy. Don's speed is going to take him right past the center platform. Now it's getting close between Michael and Norman as they head right toward each other at 70 miles per hour, and Norman takes a shot at Garrity with an Anti-Tank gun, also loaded with HEAT rounds, but the shot goes high, and slams into the side of the pit.
Benny - Garrity is not able to turn his truck enough to bring his weapon to bear on McMullen, without risking a head on collision, so that shot will go unanswered.
B.P. - There's a commotion up in the stands; it's two more trucks! They're heading toward the arena!
Benny - It looks as if Glen Bucher and Darrin Marquez have made it to the duel after all!
Macy - That's right everyone! Glen and Darrin are barreling toward the arena right now, and Head Referee MJ Daniels is giving them the O.K.! It's now a five-duelist event!
B.P. - So, add two more gas-powered off-road pickups to the fray. Marquez is coming in from the north, and Bucher rolls down the West slope. And both of them have chosen to go with large-bore weapons mounted to their hoods as well.
Benny - McMullen and Garrity have cleared the platform and have re-entered the mud, heading in that counter-clockwise spiral. Garrity is closing in on Don's tailgate.
Macy - These two late comers better hurry, because it looks like Don Jacques is going to make a turn toward the platform.
Benny - Look out! Don's traveling too fast to make that sharp of a turn, and he's turned his truck sideways! He's starting to roll in the mud!
Macy - Bucher follows Don as he rolls in the mud, but then breaks north, and opens up on Garrity with a Blast Cannon. A direct hit!
Bobby - Unbelievable! The Blast Cannon round just bounces right off! Garrity fires back, but the shot misses, as he tries to recover from the shock of that Blast Cannon hit that rocked his truck, but didn't even dent the armor.
Junior - Darrin Marquez isn't dropping into that combat though, he's heading toward Don's rolling truck.
Macy - Don's truck has come to a rest against the south side of the east wall, but it looks like it may sink in the mud enough to right itself again. What a story this could turn out to be!
Junior - Marquez isn't going to let that happen though, he's drawing in on Don's exposed underside, and lets loose with his Anti-Tank gun, he does. *Boom*
B.P. - Chalk up the first kill to Darrin Marquez, as Don's underbody was not strong enough to protect the driver from Darrin's Armor-Piercing Fin-Stabilized Discarding-Sabot rounds.
Benny - Oh, and look at that! Don's truck just righted itself. Just a fraction of a second too late.
Bobby - The rest of the field continues to circle the platform, and Michael Garrity looks like he is getting in position to start working away on McMullen's tailgate. There's the shot, a nasty hit from a Blast Cannon! Norman probably won't be able to sustain too many of those.
Junior - Maybe not, but he is starting to drop spikes, and that is bound to discourage Garrity's pursuit, it is.
B.P. - Glen Bucher also may also discourage Michael's pursuit, as he opens up on Garrity with a Blast Cannon.
Bobby - This time it does some damage, heavy damage; it knocks Garrity's car loose, and he fishtails so he's almost facing the platform.
Junior - Well, Darrin has turned around, and is heading toward the oncoming duelists. Norman and McMullen exchange fire, and they are headed right for one another. Norman is rolling in at 70 MPH, Darrin at 60. Norman tries to turn at the last second, his wheels are turned, but the truck keeps sliding forward! *Crunch*
That had to hurt! But they're both ok! Marquez's gunner looks a little stunned, and the two start backing their trucks up.
Bobby - Garrity is locking up his brakes, as he comes sliding onto the platform. He's throwing open the door. His truck has him shielded from the view of all the other duelists.
Macy - Glen has just noticed that, and is trying to turn in time to head back toward the platform. Hoe, No! Now he's turned and flipped his truck into the mud.
B.P. - Glen is rolling right toward McMullen's truck, and contact is made, while Garrity hops out of his pickup. There's weapons fire down at the south side of the arena, but not enough to take Glen's truck out. Garrity has picked up the six-pack of Budd, and the crowd is going wild! He's back into his truck, and the duel is over! Michael Garrity has won the AADA World Dueling Championship!
Benny - What a fantastic duel! Michael Garrity has pulled off a surprising victory.
B.P. - That's right Benny. I don't think anyone expected Garrity to make that last second swerve, stopping on the platform, and getting the six pack. Well, lets go to commercial, and when we get back, we'll have our interviews with the drivers.
< Commercial Break >
B.P. - Were back at the Mud Bowl, the site of this years AADA World Dueling Championship Final, where Michael Garrity just won it all. Let's go down to Junior Johnson who is down in victory circle with the new Champion.
Junior - Thanks B.P. The celebration is just beginning down here with champagne and small arms fire flying. Let's see if we can get through here...
Congratulations Michael, on a job well done.
Michael - Junior, I've been after the World Dueling Championship ever since 2042, and it feels really good to have achieved my Goal.
Junior - Nobody expected you to make that last minute turn onto the platform. Was that part of your plan from the beginning?
Michael - If the truth be told, I never originally intended to go after the beer. What enabled me to do so, was going out of control in an attempt to avoid the spikes that Norman had dropped in front of me. As it happened, I fishtailed and lost about 20 mph of speed, finding myself facing towards the platform. The loss of control I suffered had the extra benefit of getting Glen out of my rear arc. He maintained his original speed and shot past me. Seeing that he could not turn around in time, I made a snap-decision to go for the platform. The mud helped me also, in that I could decelerate faster than on dry pavement or ground.
Junior - You have been dueling for over 15 years now. How does it feel to finally bring home the biggest trophy in all of motorsports?
Michael - I feel satisfied. Of course, this victory places me in the position of having to defend next year. I am looking forward to it.
Junior - Had this been a regular Autoduel, without the six-pack, do you think you would still be standing in the winner's circle today?
Michael - If this had been a regular duel, I fully believe that I still would have won it. Remember, I came within a whisker of winning the Championship in 2047. Of course, the bricks that we were all driving would have made the duel last much longer.
Junior - And there you have it from the new AADA World dueling Champion.
B.P. - Macy Waltrip is standing by now with today's second place finisher, and the only duelist to score a kill in the finals, Darrin Marquez.
Macy - You barely made it to the duel in time. What kept you?
Darrin - On the way over to the arena we heard a strange noise from our rental car. It seems we had lost all the DP on one of our tires - it was flat. After getting it changed and calling AADA rentals, I rushed to the arena for the World Championships!
Andy "Offramp" Hunter, Twin Angels pit crew - I ain't never seen nothin' like it! Thur's this kinda grindin' rattlin' noise, an' we starts takin' hits to the underbody. I thought we was dead fer sure.
Macy - You got the first kill in the event, and that paved the way to your second place finish. Had it not been for Michael Garrity getting the prize six pack, do you think you could have pulled off a win?
Darrin - Of course! I still had a lot of ammo and ramming armor. Next time, Mr. Garrity will not have the beer to save him!
Macy - You had an awesome head-on collision with Norm McMullen.
Darrin - This was the part of the duel I really wanted to play out. Norm is not so tough after he loses half his front armor!
Macy - You placed second in an Ambush Autoworks Pickup. Did it meet your expectations?
Darrin - Of course I'm disappointed I didn't get first, but I was very happy at the way the Autoworks performed. On a scale of one to ten with the wacky wrap-around arena being a one and the MSC parking arena being a ten, I'd rate it an 8. Above MOB's Helipad Challenge and below Andy B.'s checkpoint chase. Overall though, I was very pleased with it. I'm still training for next year....But what car will top Mob Buster and Twin Angels? Go Raiders!
Macy - He's happy with the second place finish, but he's already looking forward to next year.
B.P. - Those almost sounded like fighting words. Well now we go on down to Bobby Bigguns, who has caught up with Norman McMullen, the third place finisher in the World Championships.
Bobby - Norman, you and Darrin were standing bumper to bumper just before the end of the duel. If Michael Garrity had not made the grab for the win, would you have slugged it out with Darrin? Do you think you could of taken him?
Norman - I think I could've taken him. It would've been interesting we were pretty evenly matched.
Bobby - NOVA chapter president, and number three in the world, Norm McMullan.
B.P. - Thank you, Bobby. For those of you that missed the Second round, Glen Bucher qualified for the final round when he crossed the elevated platform in spectacular style. In fact, he exploded 60' away from the line, but enough parts of the car flew across the line to award him the position. Macy Waltrip is now with Glen.
Macy - You were late getting to the duel. People were suspecting foul play. What held you up?
Glen - Well, down in Texas we are on central time and when we traveled up here for the competition we were escorted to the arena for the first duel. After that we were told by one of our competitors (he is dead now so no use dragging his sorry ass name through the mud) that we were on eastern time... so we ended up partying until the after the final round started and have learned not to trust any Yankees with watches.
Macy - Your vehicle exploded in the previous round, sending parts of your car across the ramp, scoring you enough points to make the final round. Here, you flipped your truck and you rolled right into the business end of an Anti-tank Gun. What do you do for an encore?
Glen - I was thinking about loading a motorcycle with 4 front mounted, bumper triggered heavy rockets and doing a ramp jump into an oncoming semi... but my chiropractor says that my health plan won't cover that.
Macy - Well, congratulations on receiving the Gold Cross Honorable Mention award.
Glen - I gladly accept such a prestigious award, I only wish I could have had a bigger fireball in the final round... after all I just do this for my loyal fans.
Macy - Perhaps one of the nicest clones you could ever hope to meet, Glen Bucher.
B.P. And that will wrap up our coverage of the 2049 American Autodueling Association World Dueling Championships. I'm B.P. Hammer, for Ted Downs, Benny Pearson, and the rest of our staff, good night.
< Scenes from the championships while credits roll >
A high speed, head on collision in the second round reduces the field by 1
Pickup trucks and Autocannons as duelists battle around the prized six-pack
Special thanks to all involved, including Matt Hampton, MJ Daniels, Elizabeth Lindsay, Don Jacques, Glen Bucher, Norman McMullan, Tim Gould, Michael Owen, and Darrin Marquez