Subject: re:so you want to be a big shot
Date: Mon, 30 Jun 1997 10:06:00 -0500
From: "Yeager, Alex"
(AlexYeager@yahoo.com)

Kevin charitably states:

The ultimate definition of a Mr. Suitcase is one who doesn't need to collect anymore. If you have three of every card imaginable then I would say you are most definitely a Mr. Suitcase.

Ah, but that doesn't address the truly terrible aspect of the affliction (and, since I just broke the 10K mark - with NO ULE cards - I know whereof I speak). Kevin is accurate when he states that one does not NEED to collect, but my heart still quickens when I run across a $30 Limited booster box, or a $10 OWE, or even Assassins at a measly 20% off retail. Invariably, I begin to recalculate my food budget for the week in order to achieve the fix I so desperately revel in.

No matter that I have 4 LE sets; I'm eagerly anticipating heading home today to tear into a box of LE boosters that I promised to myself as a reward for the first successful completion of my new job's duties. I will revel in the destruction of black-and-grey plastic wrapper. I will experience that moment of hesitation while I ensure that the cards are cradled in my right hand so that the rares and commons are teasingly facedown. I will slowly yet smoothly fan the uncommons with a caress of my little finger, then snap the remainder over with a snap of my wrist to reveal the rare. Pulse quickened, I slowly slide the rare sideways with my thumb, hoping for the multiple rush of a late-run pack with two rares. I will then sort, alphabetize, log and set aside the cards ... and then ride the rollercoaster 35 more times.

(My wife is a summer camp director. She left for camp June 1. My existence is a pathetic stream of delusional amusements until she returns in August, excepting the occasional conjugal visit.)

This is my accepted lot in life, and I bear with it. Granted, I can still be beat at INWO by someone with nothing more than a OWE, but there are still those small moments of pleasure that only a Mr. Suitcase can have (such as leaving AMA cards in the lobby of your local health care provider, or buying multiple back issues of Pyramid so you can have 10 Brunos...)

Alex Yeager

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