Daily Illuminator

June 13, 2011: Yes, Sir! Brilliant Idea, Sir!

GURPS Traveller Classic Humaniti

The following is a transcript, dated last Thursday, from Frank Fasttalk -- the stereotypical 1960s executive who sometimes locks himself in one of our offices and starts barking orders -- with his accounting on the creation of GURPS Traveller Classic: Humaniti.

"All right. GURPS Traveller. Why haven't we released anything on that yet? We have? Fantastic. You get a raise. We need a follow-up. Something that the kids like from that sci-fi setting. What's that one thing that everyone likes to play?

"Humans. Right. Them. We need more. Lots more. We need a full book. Nothing but Humans. [BZZZZT!] Judy? I can see the bottom of my cup of coffee!

"Anyway, we need a whole bunch of information about different races of Humaniti for Traveller. How many different races should we include? Four? Who said 'four'? You're fired. Who said 'a thousand'? I like your spunk. You get a raise. Can you do a thousand? No? You're fired. Who said 15? You get a raise. That's a good number -- but 16's even better. We'll do 16. [BZZZZT!] Judy, call Singapore and apologize for last week's early-morning call. Yes, I know what time it is there!

"So, which of the 16 races we're writing about should get background information? Who said 'most'? Cribbonson? It's your birthday today, right? Happy birthday! You're fired! Any other ideas? 'All'? Fine idea! Can we include background histories on all 16 races? Great; make it happen! [BZZZZT!] Yeah? Who? Well, tell the Pope he can wait a few minutes; it's not Sunday.

"And character creation details. We need those. If anyone thinks we can't include GURPS Third Edition character creation info for all 16 races, now's the time to use one of my windows to get out of my office faster. [BZZZZT!] Yeah? No, you tell the Prime Minister that I need that Pisa Tower thing to lean the other way. By Tuesday!

"Okay; we need maps! I want full-page maps of homeworlds! Let's say seven of 'em. And put 'em on pages . . . let's see . . . how about 23, 49, 92, 102, 112, 118, and 126? Sound good? [BZZZZT!] Judy, I just heard that the Swiss are close to finding those Higgs boson-things. I want one on my desk by tomorrow morning!

"And get Loren Wiseman to compile the whole thing. He's the best thing we've got in Traveller. What?! What plans? Well, tell him to cancel 'em; it's not like we're ever going to stop sending rockets to the moon, right? [BZZZZT!] Judy, I'm still waiting on an answer to that 'existence/essence' thing. Memo, please!

"I want the whole thing released eight years ago, and I want an electronic version that folks can buy in their homes now. Let's call it GURPS Traveller Classic: Humaniti. And someone get me a glass of cold fusion, pronto!"

-- Steven Marsh

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