July 14, 2019: Alexa Has An Illuminated Skill

You knew it had to happen. The Secret Masters have infiltrated the Mafia, the Pentagon, FIFA, Wall Street, the Goldfish Fanciers, the Republicans and the Democrats and Labour and the Tories . . . and now they've infiltrated Amazon's Alexa voice-activated application service.

Yes, now you can receive secret messages from the Illuminati in the comfort of your own bedroom (or living room, or kitchen, or anywhere you have an Alexa-enabled device)! We have Creede Lambard, SJ Games alumnus and card-carrying Evil Genius, to thank. Here's how:

1. Tell your Alexa-enabled device, 'Alexa, enable Secret Knowledge.'

It is possible that voice activation won't be available at your clearance level and you'll get a list of other skills that have 'Knowledge' in their titles. If so, don't let this diversionary tactic distract you. Sign in to your Amazon account (the one your Alexa device is registered with) and go to this URL – https://alexa.amazon.com/spa/index.html#skills/dp/B07V1HWYXG – or search Alexa's skills for 'Secret Knowledge.' Click the 'Enable' button in the upper right-hand corner.

Congratulations! You're a member of a secret conspiracy! But then you already were, or you wouldn't be reading this. (If you have trouble enabling this skill, remove the tinfoil hat from your Alexa device and try again.)

2. Whenever you feel the need for a message from the Illuminati, ask Alexa for one with a phrase like:

'Alexa, tell Secret Knowledge to give me a message from the Illuminati.'
or, 'Alexa, tell Secret Knowledge to give me a fnord.'
or, 'Alexa, tell Secret Knowledge to illuminate me.'

These are only a few of the many different ways you can ask Alexa for your personal, custom-crafted, randomly generated bit of secret knowledge.

3. Spread the word. After all, one of the worst-kept secrets about a secret conspiracy is, the more people who know about it, the more fun it is.

Thanks, and remember . . . "Boba Fett brings the hamster to the Sydney Opera House fnord"

-- Steve Jackson